Have you ever noticed how there are certain trends that come into your consciousness and that make you sit up and take notice? It could be certain numbers or people that all have the same resemblance and that can make you now be more cognizant.
As one who trends, I see this frequently; in my work with clients, I can often see five in a day who all talk about the same issue or situation. One that I noticed today involved two people – within minutes of each other – who had taken on tasks they wanted to do and involved higher performance in their jobs, and who both stated “I don’t want to do this” now that it was time to step and up and move forward. To be honest, the talk I did last week and that I mentioned, had me saying a few times “I don’t want to do this.”
Obviously, there is a lot of fear going on in these individuals that seems easier than doing the task they agreed to. They have learned to cope and adapt to being ‘safe’ by not engaging in these tasks but, yet, there was a desire to move toward them. Ideas can ‘sound good’ at the time but when reality comes, the terror of all past failures comes rushing in and now create the reality to deal with: what if I fail, what if I get laughed at, what if I get rejected, etc. It’s these perceived realities in our own head that hold us back – imagining the poor outcome before it even happens.
The way to deal? Stop focusing on the poor outcome and create the positive one that will most likely happen, or that you want to happen. Do you know the outcome to occur? NO – so why focus on something that hasn’t happened yet and begin placing that focus and intention on doing your best, working off of your skills and strengths, and only allow ‘seeing’ positive actions and responses. It’s the old “feel the fear and do it anyway” mantra. A question to ask yourself if or when you get in this situation is:
Which do you want to face more: acting on your intention of which you don’t know the outcome (and having success), OR never trying and then having to face the resulting feelings that will arise (guilt, regret, shame, or the like)?
Go back and look at what you committed to and why as this will reframe your negative thoughts to become positive. If you’re going to place your focus on a thought, why not keep it on the outcome you envisioned when you originally said yes to the task at hand?
