Well, I (we) made it! 30 Days of blogging, 30 ideas, 30 articles – I hope you found them informative and useful to both your personal and professional life. I have to say that it seems somehow surreal – time really did fly by now that it’s over.
I wonder if you are feeling the same – that your activity became easier and easier. That’s the beauty of doing small steps; they now become part of your daily routine and a habit is formed. Positive habits are what we’re aiming for (at least I am). From there, self-confidence increases to know we can achieve anything, and our outlook becomes one where we embrace our world, and all that is in it (whether good or ‘bad’).
So, I’m feeling very accomplished and I hope you are, too. Step up to the podium and accept your gold medal. See the accolades (you can envision the crowd clapping and paparazzi flashing those cameras) and savor your moment. It’s good to have you in the Winner’s Circle – Success!
In a perfect world, when we experience hurt we would be able to get over it and move on. We would not feel resentment towards the person we perceive has disappointed us in some way. That’s right – when we get angry at someone else, it is because that person did not act in a way that we wanted or would have. We look at situations from our perspective, often forgetting that others have their own way.
In the workplace, we often get disappointed on a daily basis:
- I didn’t get that project I knew I was perfect for
- I didn’t get chosen to be on the superstar team as I’m a great fit
- I didn’t get asked to lunch with the guys
- I didn’t get that promotion
- My boss seems to like ((*&% better
- I am so disappointed in myself that I didn’t finish my work on time
The list can go on and on. These types of ‘hurts’ can call up our inner child, who may not like what it hears which then leads us to feeling anxious or angry. Depending on how we’ve learned to cope and adapt to stressful or unhappy situations is how we will respond. As our defenses kick in, we then pile this current hurt to ones from the past and soon may start to get angry and feel resentment towards those we feel have wronged us.
We know turn those hurts into:
- (*^& took that project from me (now I will ignore them)
- I didn’t want to be on that team anyway (now I’ll act icy to them)
- Who wants to go out to lunch with a bunch of losers
- My boss is such a jerk and doesn’t know what he’s missing out on (I think I’ll leave this job)
- I don’t want to be a brown-noser like ((*&% (or maybe I will)
- I should give it up – I’ll never make anything of myself (my father, teacher, etc. was right)
If these sound familiar – and they should as we ALL have these types of thoughts – then it’s time to release them and let them go. Holding on to them aren’t serving you, even though that inner child will cling to them with all their might. There comes a time in our lives when we have the realization that something must change and look inside to see why we don’t get asked to lunch or not getting recognized by the boss; perhaps it is how we present ourselves or we do not look open to others.
Past hurts can seal ourselves in a tomb of which we are the keepers and controllers of both ourselves and others. We don’t realize the level of control, and sometimes power, we wield over our emotions and behaviors, as well as those of others. When someone didn’t do something we wanted, and we get angry with them, it is because we wanted things our way, thus being in control.
One of the best ways to release past hurts and negative feelings is the Release Exercise (Doreen Virtue):
Take paper to write on; I recommend going outside to do this exercise as being in nature opens us up to receiving. Ask the question: “What am I holding on to that I need to release (let go of)? Then allow yourself to free-write, with no limits or judgements. When you’re done, look one last time at all the crap you’ve been holding on to and then burn the paper. It is very freeing as you watch those words burn. They no longer have any control over you or the way you think/behave. Now, your perspectives will change to be more open and positive, you will take more responsibility for your thoughts and actions, and you will no longer worry about what others are doing (which is freeing in itself). You may have to make some amends, however. But you will live more freely and authentically, which is when great things happen.
*Don’t forget – the push is on – two more days until the Challenge is over. You got this!
I get really irked when I hear someone diminish themselves, attributing something great they’ve done to chance, someone else, a higher power, etc. They seriously are not aware that they are the reasons for their success. For example, let’s say a client named Jane comes in with good news that she got a new position with her company; Jane had been working this for a while but now, while grateful, states what a ‘stroke of luck’ she had to get this promotion.
What Jane doesn’t realize is that her good fortune was because of her – actions she took and willingness to step up and put her name in the hat for consideration. Jane needs to remember how she took the time to review her skills and recent experiences so they matched with the job; or the time she networked with her new boss at an office function, by taking a risk and introducing herself; or the kudos she got for completing a big project. I think it’s easy to attribute our success to an exterior source.
Perhaps this is due to a humble mindset or low self-esteem; but the fact remains that the way to get past those and really succeed is to embrace that, while others may have had a part, we really are the drivers in the process. It is we who takes the risks, who acquire the knowledge and skills, who finish the project, who leads. By owning our skills and abilities, and the like, we then become more of who we are; we work more authentically and confidently:
- Daily, write down at least 3 ‘win’s for the day, no matter how big or small
- review your work outcome and your part so you can ‘see’ the exact mindset and actions you took to get them completed, i.e. problem-solving, analysis, organization, etc.
So, no more brushing off what you do and attributing them to an external factor; time to start recognizing and giving kudos to yourself. Own your success to soar!
Well, here we are – 4 days away from the end of the 30-Day Challenge – how has it been for you? Further on your established goal, so that it now feels natural and easy? Progress being made? This is the time to ‘pour it on,’ as they say, and really finish strong.
For myself, I’ve kept at the writing (hopefully you’ve enjoyed them); I will admit that there were some days I struggled with the content – what would provide value. But, I pushed through and did it anyway – I just had to look a bit to find those inspirations. I found that once I did, then ideas flowed and the words came along with the feeling of accomplishment.
Right now, I’m thinking of my next challenge – it’s only 30 days after all; I made it through one challenge and can do it again. This is the mindset we need to take to calm our fear center and affirm our abilities so we can overcome any personal challenge we find standing in our way. I’ll hold off until Friday to reveal but this one will be a bit difficult for me; however, I realize that presenting myself with a challenge is the best way I can hold my self accountable and have ‘no excuses’ to not take action. I hope you are finding hte same. So push on- now it’s only 4 days to go; you got this!
Today is Sunday, the day which has been known as ‘the day of rest.’ Back in the days, this was a day of family and taking it easy and doing fun activities. Minimal stores were open, forcing the family to be together. This practice helped workers to get prepared for the work they did in the following week.
High Performers know they need to step back from their ‘busyness’ and get organized and prepared for what may lie ahead. They take time to create good activities, which then become good habits, which will allow them to relax, rest, re-up their motivation, and have good systems in place so they don’t have to think of what they should do to step back. Sir Richard Branson and leadership expert, John Maxwell, all have their own practices in place – if you want to be a high performer, wouldn’t you want to do what the experts do and create more success in your life?
Here are some suggestions to get your creative ‘juices’ flowing:
- stretch – this is a great way to relax and let go of negative energy, particularly before you get out of bed
- gratitude – being thankful for what you have changes one’s outlook and being more positive
- journaling – writing down thoughts and feelings to release and make sense of them, as well as capturing situations that occurred in your day, is a great way to reframe negatives we perceive and reframe them to so we feel more in control
- clean – as much as we may not like it, cleaning is a great way to get rid of clutter, germs and negative energy
- spending time with family and friends – bonding is important to our soul
- hobbies and fun activities – engaging in fun activities, or our passions, stimulate our creative brain, which elevate our happiness
- review our past week – this a great way to see how much you actually got done, what needs to be done, and what needs to taken forward
- set goals for the week – the best way to hit the ground running, which high performers do, is to know which direction to take to maximize your energy and productivity. You will know exactly what needs to be done and when
- affirmations – the way you talk to yourself is either uplifitng or depleting so lifting yourself through the use of small, short sentences is a great motivator and esteem-builder (I am great, I am accomplished, I’m a wonderful speaker/boss/mother, etc.)