The Importance of Self-Belief

In order to achieve any desire, you need to have one vital piece which is to have self-belief; this is also known as self-efficacy, or the belief that you can act in ways so you will achieve your goals (Bandura, 1977). Even if you say, on a conscious level, that you can do something you won’t if you don’t fundamentally believe that yo u can.

You may wonder why it is important to believe in yourself. The simple answer is that if you don’t, no one else will. Actions and results are what lead others to believe that you can do what you say you will; however, if you don’t follow through, then their trust wanes and they stop fully believing in you.

However, the reverse can be true: you may have accomplished a goal in the past but took your achievements for granted. You may have failed at something but allow that to stick, so your thinking may be “I’m not good at anything.” This, then, becomes your belief system and you may have the tendency to reject any compliments or attribute your success to good luck.

Truth is if was all you who achieved the tasks, but your psyche isn’t allowing you to accept this truth. Others see if but you don’t (or won’t). Getting to the fundamental truth is what will lead you to accept that you were the one behind the achievement – any.

Why is it so hard for you to have self-belief? We can look at some reasons, such as being raised where you were told to be self-less and do for others; another reason is that it could be looked at as bragging or boasting; some don’t want to draw attention to themselves; while for others, the fear if not being good enough comes in to play.

It’s actually those little gremlins lying dormant in your head but controlling your thoughts and beliefs. The more you allow them to stay in your head, the more power they have to control you and your actions. From working with clients s, their frustration with a lack of self-belief leads to anxiety and, in some instances, depression, as don’t believe they can change this way of thinking.

But, nothing can be further from the truth. I will say, however, that changing mindset is not easy but it can be done with practice and consistency. It’s a new way of challenging and changing your thoughts but focusing on positives versus negatives.

Here are a few tips to get started:

Keep track of your accomplishments – at the end of each day, write down activities you did and the successes you had; it doesn’t matter how big or small they are as you did them.
Keep an accomplishment jar or box – get a jar, with small strips of paper or sticky notes, and write down your achivements; it’s so gratifying when you see the jar fill up and, you can take one or two out if you’re feeling unmotivated or down on yourself.
Look back at a past event or achievement that you had originally believed you would not be able to do and write out that scenario, including the skills, resources, support, and mindset it took to make it happen.
Write down 10 things you like about yourself – be really honest, as this will allow you to identify and savor the good parts of you that you use every day.
Ask others – this one takes a bit of bravery, but ask your family, friends, or coworkers what is a word that comes to mind when they think of you. If you’re really brave, post this on your social media. I can tell you it’s very reaffirming when you hear positive thoughts and compliments from others.

Try one of these tips, then add another, so you can beging to change your mindset and view of yourself (belief). To look at this another way, you have already achieved and been through ‘stuff’ – you just have to see this viewpoint. Be sure to hold and savor the good so it will ‘feel’ good (we do tend to reject what doesn’t feel good). With enough consistency, new habits will be cemented and your self-belief and confidence will be second nature. Aren’t you worth it?

“Believe in yourself, our abilities, a d our own potential. Never let self-doubt hold you captive. You are worthy of all that you dream of and hope for.” (Roy Bennett)

If you’re struggling with a negative mindset, reach out to see how we can help you change this way of thinking.

August 1, 2023

It’s a Great Month to Figure Out What Am I Doing with My Life? Tips for Figuring Things Out

Do you often find yourself wondering what you are doing in life? Many people reach a point where they feel they lack direction in their lives. Instead of living life to the full, they simply go through the motions.

If this sounds like you, there are things you can do to help you get out of the rut you are currently in. Today starts the beginning of August, so what better time than to get this question answered, so you can start a new chapter.

Below, you’ll discover some fabulous tips for figuring out what it is you want from life. Just remember, there are no right or wrong answers here; these tips are meant for you to explore your inner game which will lead to your outer game, i.e. gaining clarity and direction:

Consider Your Passions

If you want to know what direction to go in, it’s helpful to think about the things you are passionate about. The things that motivate and inspire you will change on a frequent basis. For example, what you want today may look very different to what you wanted a few months ago.

As we change and adapt over time according to our experiences. This means to keep a direction in life, we need to constantly assess what it is we want. Figuring out the things you are passionate about will help you to understand where to go next and what you need to do to get there.

Address Your Fears

Even if you know what it is you want to do, you might be stuck because of fear. Known to be one of our most powerful emotions, fear can stop you from going after the things you truly want in life.

So, if you are going to move forward and figure out what it is you are doing in life, you are going to need to address your fears. Figure out where the fear is coming from. Then, be willing to work through them so you can stop them controlling your life.

Assess Your Current Goals

Do you have any goals you are working on right now? Chances are, if you aren’t sure what you are doing in your life, you won’t have any goals to work towards that mean something. This can contribute towards the problem.

You need to set yourself goals to keep the mind motivated and positive. When you have things to work for, it gives you a purpose each day. As you see yourself progressing through your goals, it generates more motivation to get you to where you need to be.

Make sure you set small, specific goals that are easy to achieve.

You Don’t Need To Have It All Figured Out

Nobody has their life totally figured out. There will always be doubts and things you want to do better. You don’t have to have it all figured out all the time. In fact, just going with the flow sometimes can present you with a lot of opportunities you would otherwise miss. As stated earlier, there are no right or wrong answers to go with the flow and see where it leads you.

Feeling like you don’t know what you are doing in life can be lonely and frustrating. However, the above are just some of the things you can do to figure out what it is you want. Take a notepad and pen and just reflect; free-write any ideas or thoughts you have to get them out, then you can go back and edit to make sense of them.

Change isn’t easy but with the right mind-set, goals, and a plan, you can do anything. Oh, and some hard work. Determine to make this month the start of the ‘new you.’

“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.”

(Germany Kent)

June 28, 2023

Dealing with Information Overload

What Is Information Overload?

Have you ever started something new – a new job, a new sport, even a new game and you’re trying to learn the information, but it feels like your brain might explode?

That’s an exaggerated symptom of information overload, or having to take in too much information in a short amount of time, or at once. Most people are experiencing this daily due to fast access to information, mainly via the internet.

The use of social media has increased exponentially; here are some sobering facts (Allegheny-Kiski Health Foundation, n.d.):

People check their phones at least 46 -74 times per day
Social media is addictive, according to newer studies
81% check their phone while dining out
76% of Americans attribute information overload with their stress
35% of workers feel overload affects their performance, with 30% feeling it affects their job satisfaction

Information overload can cause the following symptoms:

* Headache

* Stress

* Moodiness

* Fatigue

* Overweight

* Cardiovascular issues

* Memory and concentration problems

* Lack of sleep

*Eye strain

* And more…

Plus, often it can cause problems in interpersonal relationships and work relationships. The reason is that most information overload is a choice you make. You choose to be on social media all day; you choose to watch every single news station and every single pundit on TV talk about whatever is the topic of the day.

It’s Like Drinking Water from a Fire Hydrant

Anytime you want to learn something, it’s tempting to start gathering tons of information. And due to the net, it’s easy to get drawn down into the rabbit hole of unending information. It becomes hard to determine what information is good and what information is bad.

It Leads to Poor Information Filtering

When you are bombarded with so much information, your brain can’t filter it properly. Your brain does something called twigging, which means that instead of filtering information in terms of importance it just generalizes all information as being the same. This is terrible for decision making.

It Leads to FOMO: The Fear of Missing Out

The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is related to our emotions and a belief that other people are living better, doing more, and have more satisfaction in their lives. This result leads feelings of anxiety, or worry, that you are missing out on wants in your life. It leads to self-comparison which does nothing for your self-esteem and confidence.

It Leads to Bad Choices

If you can’t properly filter information to determine what is true, what is right and what is wrong, you’ll have a hard time making the right choices. The information overload causes you to choose wrongly on any number of issues, because with so much noise going on you can’t determine what is right.

It Harms Your Relationships

Information overload can harm your relationships. If you’re always reading your smartphone, looking at social media and aren’t present in your life, it can hurt intimacy. If your partner and friends are complaining, take heed.

It Leads to Black and White Thinking

The world is not black and white. The world is colorful, black, white, gray and everything in between and more. The same can be said for a lot of issues. There are very few issues that are either right or wrong, black or white.

If you have too much information at your fingertips and are rating everything the same, it’s easy to see things as black and white, which can make it hard to negotiate a happy life and successful business. Some people can take it further by relying solely on what they’ve read on the internet or news as the gospel truth, which harms one’s way of thinking and critical thinking.

It Can Lead to Mental Issues Like Anxiety and Depression

When you get to the point of information overload, a lot of people experience mental problems such as short-term memory issues and even depression. If you find that you’re just feeling mixed up a lot, forget appointments and aren’t doing your best at home or work, consider information overload as a potential culprit.

Information overload can be a big problem for a lot of people. People are wrecking their cars due to not being able to turn away from looking at their text messages. Who knows how much money is lost in overall productivity due to information overload which, according to a study by Basex, is $900 billion.

So, what is the solution?

First, look at your usage of how you are taking information in, which includes: social media, TV news and shows, gaming, reading magazine and books, talking to others; information is exchanged at a constant rate so assessing how much, and in what formats, will help to begin to limit your involvement.

Begin to ‘detach’ in smaller steps, such as not opening your phone for 30 minutes, then increase your time; limit your TV time; read for 20-30 minutes then go outside and walk. To calm your brain from not worrying about what you think you’re missing, small is better (although going ‘cold turkey’ is a better way for some.

Monitor your physical and mental health to see progress and how much better you feel – are you more alert and able to concentrate longer; do you feel more energetic; are you sleeping better; do you feel happier. Looking at the ‘before’ and ‘after’ can help you recognize the benefits of your efforts so you continue on. You might be surprised to realize how much you don’t miss those activities as much as you thought.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, which is affecting you productivity and emotional health, reach to get help. You don’t have to struggle alone.

April 6, 2023

& Practices to Cultivate Optimism Each Day

7 Practices to Cultivate Optimism Each Day

You might be surprised to hear that optimism is not an innate quality. Optimism and pessimism are ways of looking at yourself and the world through a positive or negative filter. Once you think of them as reflections of your mindset, it becomes much easier to believe you can change. Like any new behavior, you need to practice every day for it to become a habit. Try these six suggestions to cultivate your optimism every day.

Keep a journal

Journaling or keeping a diary allows you to process events and to get a different perspective on them. It encourages self-reflection and captures insights into your thinking and behavior. You can write down what happened during your day and document, not just the bald facts but how you did it, what you did to make it happen and what you did right. And, importantly, how it felt while you were doing it. Don’t just record the good things (a promotion, a presentation or meeting that went well), remember to write down the thing that didn’t go so well and reflect on what happened, how you dealt with it, and what you might do differently next time.

Laugh

Consciously notice the funny side of things and write them down. If the technology didn’t work, and you had to give the presentation without the slide deck, or the power went out, or there was a fire drill in the middle of your crucial meeting. What can seem like a disaster at the time can also be looked back on as a comedy of errors. On your break, watch a funny video or ones of animals – release the dopamine.

Write to your future

Write a letter or a journal entry that sets out the future you want. What job are you doing? Are you running your own business? What have you learned? What has changed? Imagining how your future life looks and feels can be a powerful motivator.

Keep a kindness list

Have a page in your journal where you note down kind gestures. Write down when you are kind to someone, or when someone is kind to you. Even little things count, like opening a door for someone or letting them go first in the line for coffee. You’ll be surprised at how quickly they mount up, and your ever-lengthening list will give you a different perspective on things.

Say thank you

Write a letter or email, phone or visit someone (a person outside your family) who has been genuinely kind to you. Tell them how much you appreciate what they did or said and how it has affected your life. Be sure to acknowledge and appreciate those in your inner circle, as well as others.

Choose positivity

Make the positive choice to develop and maintain an optimistic outlook. Do this every morning when you wake up. Decide that today is going to be a great day. Everyone will have some level of suffering in their life. Choosing to be optimistic will make it easier to bounce back from the bad times and to enjoy and be certain of the good times.

Practice Gratitude Daily

Each morning and night, say at least 3 things you are grateful for; doing so in the morning will prime your brain to start the day well, while at night will help you to sleep better. Don’t repeat the same things over and over; sure, you can be grateful for the bed you slept on but take it a step further and thank the person who made or delivered the bed. As the saying goes, gratitude changes the attitude and least to more optimism.

Being optimistic will enhance your life in a positive way, while helping you to deal with adverse events more easily. Begin practicing these steps daily, making them part of your routine, and watch how you life changes. Remember, you do get the choice as to how you see that life.

If you are struggling with negativity or want to make improvements in your life, reach out to learn more. You don’t have to struggle or do it alone….

December 7, 2022

7 Ways to Turn Worry into Excitement about Getting Things Done

Everybody worries sometimes. Right now, you’ve probably even got a few worries on your mind: you might be thinking about a relationship or a situation at work that you’re struggling with; maybe you’re worried about your health or whether or not you’re going to have enough money to pay the bills at the end of the month; or you might be worried about the future for you and your family or the state of the world today.

Whatever the case, worry happens whether we intend for it to or not. This becomes a problem, though, when worry starts to take over your life, as it can creep up on your without realizing.

So, what is the goal? Is stopping worrying enough to put you on an even keel, or are you hoping for something…more? What if, instead of worrying, you could become excited, then use this excitement to get more done?

Let’s look at seven ways to achieve this:

Be Here Now

Worry has a way of trapping you anywhere but here. Either you’re worried about something which happened long ago, or you’re caught up in fretting about something still to come. Neither is going to get you anywhere. To stop worrying, you need to focus on the present. What interests you right now? What do you have control of today, versus tomorrow?

Realize This Gets You Nowhere Fast

Worrying stops you cold. In fact, most procrastination is caused by worrying. With this in mind, why are you wasting your time and energy on worrying? Sometimes just recognizing what a waste worry is, will be enough to derail it altogether. Especially when you have better places to be.

Throw Yourself into Something Interesting

Worry needs your attention to survive. Get busy doing something engaging to your mind, and you’ll find you forget all about worrying. Focus on a project, reading a book or a hobby, or being with friends.

Rewrite the Script

If you’re seeing everything blow up around you, maybe you should try focusing on the perceived disaster. Ask yourself how you could do things to handle the situation were it to happen. Once you have it, practice the scenario in your mind and picture yourself handling matters – always be solution-focused.

Practice

Worried about something you need to do later? Having a dress rehearsal in your head will make things go smoother and keep worry at bay entirely. Often, imploding a bad situation will stop the fears that surround it.

Ask

Challenge your worry. Dig in and get to the roots until you understand your worry intimately. Ask yourself where the negativity came from. Peel back the layers until you get down into the heart of the matter. Try the ‘what if’s’ of the situation so you can look at solutions and challenge thoughts around it. Worry really starts in our head.

Try a New Path

In the end, worry can become very attached to the familiar. It can feel ‘comfortable’ so, when you want to move out of this space, your fight-or-flight will go off, leading to more worry. Challenge yourself; find a different way to do things explore where this new path takes you.

Coaching Tip:

The main point in all of these is to enjoy the journey. This is where you find the excitement and enthusiasm, which leads to getting things done. The rest is all momentum and a whole lot of brand-new accomplishments just waiting to happen. Change takes time so be easy on yourself but be consistent in your efforts so you can deal with any worries you will face.

“Worry is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do but it never gets you anywhere.” (Erma Bombeck)

If you’re feeling worries, anxious, or overwhelmed by life circumstances, you don’t have to suffer or go it alone. Reach out for help to get started living a freer and calmer life.

Category: A Positive Mindset