Self-Sabotaging Behaviors That Keep You From Doing and Getting What You Want

Do you ever find yourself wanting success but not going after it? Have you ever not raised your hand to take on a more challenging role or expressing an opinion, despite knowing the answer? Do you stay in the background, allowing others to take the lead even though you know you have the ability to do so?

If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of these, then you have fallen into the trap of self-sabotage.

Quite frankly, we all have been our own worst enemy at times. Self-sabotage is when you don’t do the things you want, or do the opposite of what you intended. You could have a great relationship but do something that messes it up, or have a great job but then start showing up late to work or on assignments.

The results of this type of behavior can be severe:

  • Your income will suffer.
  • Your self-esteem will plummet.
  • Your confidence will find new lows.
  • Tasks remain unfinished

The end result? Frustration. Burnout. Resentment (of your clients or your business). And, yes, even more self-sabotaging behaviors not to mention feelings of guilt and shame.

This downward spiral can quickly turn devastating, but stopping it is easy when you learn to recognize the symptoms.

Procrastination

Did you mean to apply for that high-end coaching program but missed the deadline? Or maybe you were going to send a proposal to a potential new client, but waited too long? Or maybe you simply waited too long to take advantage of a sale price on a hot new app that everyone’s raving about.

These and other missed opportunities can often be blamed on simple procrastination, one of the most destructive habits we suffer from. Procrastination is what keeps us working late at night to make a deadline, costs us money in late fees, and even costs us business.

If you’re prone to procrastination, try these techniques to put an end to it:

  • Recognize your fear. What often keeps you stuck is simple fear. You’re afraid that even with that amazing coach you still won’t reach your goals, so you put off applying. You’re afraid you’ll look bad when compared to other proposals, so you just don’t send one. But if you want to be successful in business, you must learn to recognize and face your fears, then do the work anyway.
  • Start with small steps to not activate the fear center; doing small task will make the word seem easier so you will continue on.
  • Visualize the life and business you desire. Imagine what it will be like to have that amazing business you’ve been dreaming about. Picture your ideal workday, daydream about that fabulous vacation you’ll take, and imagine VIP days with your ideal client.
  • Reward yourself. It’s okay to give yourself a little incentive for getting things done. Take yourself out to lunch; buy a new pair of shoes; take an afternoon off. Do what’s most likely to motivate you to power through your fears and take the next step.

Failing to Complete Your Projects

Be honest. How many half-written books, partially planned programs, and unfinished products are cluttering up your hard drive right now?

If you’re like a lot of entrepreneurs, the answer is probably several.

You started all of them with great enthusiasm. You planned out the modules or chapters, created the slide decks, and maybe even outlined the sales page. And then…you just stopped working on it.

Maybe you tell yourself that you’re too busy. Maybe you “need to do some more research.” Or maybe you simply lost interest. But the truth is, none of those are the real reason. For a lot of people, this self-sabotaging habit is actually a symptom of a lack of confidence, and it’s keeping you from the success you deserve.

Consider this: You cannot know the actual success rate of a project you’ve never finished, and you cannot improve upon something you’ve never completed. So rather than filling your hard drive with half-finished projects, power through and start releasing them—even if you believe they’re not perfect, and even if you think they’ll never sell. You are not a fortune-teller who can predict the future – you will do so only if you create it.

 

If you find yourself procrastinating and not achieving your goals, then isn’t it time to get help? Reach out to learn more – mindset matters.

 

Four Reasons to Be an Action-Taker

What’s stopping you from taking action? Is it fear? Perhaps you’re waiting for the right break instead of making your opportunities in life? Or maybe you believe you’re not smart or talented enough? These negative beliefs are holding you back.

There’s a reason why so many intelligent people fail. They tend to overthink everything and are often afraid to take risks. Negative experiences in the past can come flooding back in the present when one is not ready, or prepared for them. These beliefs result in procrastination and avoidance, which only lead to more negativity and inaction

If that’s your case, here are four powerful reasons to become an action-taker:

Get Rid of Doubts

If you don’t take action, you’ll keep wondering What if? You will struggle with self-doubt and question your decisions. The woulda- coulda- shoulda’s will eat you alive. Taking action builds experience and boosts your confidence. It also allows you to discover new resources and information that will contribute to your success.

Your Time Is Limited

Steve Jobs once said that remembering you’re going to die is the best way to stop thinking you have something to lose. Your time on this earth is limited. You never know what’s going to happen a month or a year from now on.

You might never get a second chance to rent that perfect office space in your area, go to that meeting you’ve been postponing for weeks, or apply for your dream job. Take action today! Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve!

One Thing Leads to Another

Getting started is often the hardest yet the most important step to success. No matter your plans, you must take action to bring them to life. Stop overthinking the decision as brain chemicals hit the executive function in the brain, stopping you in your tracks. Using principles such as Kaizen, where you start with the least threatening action and work your way to the next step and the next, will subvert those chemicals so your fears don’t arise.

Once you make that first step, everything else will fall into place. It may or may not work out as you hope, but it will lead to something new. Think of it as an opportunity to grow and learn.

Let’s say you want to apply for a job that sounds perfect for you, but you know you aren’t quite qualified enough. Yes, it’s scary to apply, but what’s really at stake? Even if you don’t get the job, you’ll get practice interviewing for your dream job. You’ll also get feedback on what you need to focus on to get a similar job in the future. When you start taking action, you get results.

Develop Your Skills

Whether your projects succeed or fail, there’s always a chance to learn new things. Taking action will help develop your skills, leading to greater confidence. Be sure to write down these new skills to capture them while celebrating this new learning.

The next time you want to take action on a dream, you’ll feel better prepared and have more experience. On top of that, you’ll approach things from a new perspective and confidence and won’t repeat the same mistakes in the future.

 

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