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September 18, 2023

The Change You Seek May Be The Change You Fear

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If there is one constant in life, it’s that change is inevitable. Change can trigger growth, it ushers in new opportunities and welcomes transformation. The tricky thing about change is even when actively seeking it out, it is often the change that we fear.

Sometimes, changes have to be made due to circumstances that are not planned or anticipated. But, change isn’t always negative – it can be exciting and long sought after, but that doesn’t make it any less scary.

The Comfort Zone

One of the biggest reasons humans fear change is because it’s a step into the unknown. You’re safe in your predictable comfort zone. Even when you seek out change, you are pushing yourself into the unknown, and that is unsettling. It’s the state of homeostasis we live in – just wanting things to be the same, regardless if they are positive or negative.

You may choose to change careers or go back to school, but leaving the comfort of your stable job to do that can be anxiety-inducing. You leave behind your familiar routine to explore new challenges and with that comes uncertainty.

The Risk of Failure

The risk of failure is also a powerful factor that prevents people from pursuing change. Society has impressed upon us the idea that the worst thing we can do is fail. Remember this, if you fail it’s because you tried and that means a lot more than sitting back and letting life pass you by. It can be paralyzing – wanting for more but too worried to try.

There is another element of risk that prevents people from pursuing change. One that can be terrifying – even though you want to change and even though it will be a good thing, the idea of letting go of something else to create space for something new. It’s a cognitive bias that’s difficult to shake, even though you logically know the change is positive.

The Pressure

There are a variety of pressures that can make change even scarier. When peer pressure and societal norms come into play, it can be terrifying to push yourself to make the changes you want for fear of being judged harshly.

Then there’s your ego – self-identity is often tied up in job roles and circumstances. So, leaving a high-paid position to pursue your dream can be even scarier even though you want it. Your ego may have trouble processing it as the positive it is. Another caveat is in listening to the ‘shoulds’ in your head – and leaving them behind can be scary.

Navigating Change

As you embark on a journey of change, there are a few strategies you can use to get through. The first is to recognize your fear, no good will come of pretending everything is fine. Plus, we can make future situations worse than we know – you are not a mind-reader to predict the future but, you can certainly plan for it. You need to set realistic expectations because you will experience setbacks, but that’s no reason to give up.

Don’t be afraid to embrace the uncertainty and lean on your support network. Be gentle and kind with yourself and try to focus on all of the benefits, rather than getting caught up worrying about the change or potential negatives.

You can’t tackle this change as one big step, you have to break it down into small steps to make the process less overwhelming. Be prepared to challenge your limiting beliefs because they will crop up and they will make life difficult if you’re not ready to quash them.

The moves you make in the future should reflect your priorities and values, so make sure you’re well acquainted with yours.

Final Thoughts

It’s normal to fear change to some degree, but what isn’t normal is allowing that fear to stop you in your tracks. As tempting as it is to stay safe in your comfort zone, you will never lead the fulfilling life you deserve in doing so.

So, put yourself out there!

Take the risk, make the changes, and embrace the unknown! You never know when you will uncover your true potential. It isn’t something to fear, it’s something to savor and pursue. Be bold – make the leap to your future. Embrace the change you seek – it will hug you back.

What are you struggling with? Reach out to get support to help you answer the question and move forward boldly. We’re here for you!

September 11, 2023

5 Steps to Throw Fear to the Curb and Take Control of Your Life!

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Lfe is challenging, and painful, and exciting, and unpredictable. There are two basic forces that drive our reactions to what Life throws at us: love and fear. Love opens us to the passion and excitement that Life has to offer, while fear causes us to withdraw and hide.

Fear stops you from taking action. Fear of what you might lose or gain. Fear of not having enough money. Fear of not being loved or belonging. Fear of being alone. The basic fear we all experience is the fear of not being good enough, which leads to other major fears discussed.

There is a time for fear. It protects us from danger and destruction. The problem is that if you’re not living your life to the fullest, chances are good it’s because you’ve let fear dictate to you that pretty much everything new you want to try is dangerous and destructive.

Well, guess what? It’s not true.

You can throw fear to the curb, you can take control of your life, you can start living your life to the fullest.

Here are 5 steps to get you started:

Be Clear About Your Goals

What do you want your life to look like and be like? You must have a destination, a goal, a vision to work toward or you’re not going to know that you reached it. What goals do you want to achieve? Get clear on this and your first fear will be taken care of – the fear of not knowing what to expect. Now you can shift your focus to the tasks that will help you achieve your goal.

Prepare Yourself

How many opportunities have you had to say No to because you weren’t ready? No doubt there are many. And there will be many more if you don’t begin to prepare yourself now. Based on the goals you’ve set, what skills and knowledge do you need to achieve them? Begin obtaining those skills and knowledge now. Preparation lays the groundwork for action – when you have all that you need you won’t have to wonder what to do as it will be all laid out for you to get started.

Network With Others

If you don’t have the skills or knowledge, you should know someone who does. A strong social and professional network is vital to your ability to live the life you want. This doesn’t mean you must befriend everyone who crosses your path, or that you must nurture professional relationships with people you don’t like or understand.

It means meeting people online and offline and deciding how they fit in your life. You make that decision. Just be sure to nurture those relationships that can help you personally and professionally by being helpful to them first. A mentor is not only for professional situations, as having someone you look up to give you guidance does wonders for you as a person.

Ask More Questions

Opportunities don’t appear as if by magic. And sometimes they’re not obvious. Use your imagination and curiosity to help you ask more questions about what is happening around you. When you can see situations from different perspectives amazing lessons can be learned, answers can be found, and recognition of an opportunity can happen. Opportunities are everywhere – you just have to look for them.

Take Risks

Not just any risk, though, calculated risks. Calculated means understanding what the risks are, whether it’s financial or emotional or mental or physical, and weighing the pros and cons of each risk to determine if you’re willing to live with the consequences of moving forward. When you do this, you are in control of the decision-making process and can accept responsibility for the achievement or failure of what you do in your life.

Fear can stop you – heck, it’s scary to go outside your comfort zone and go after what you want. These are the times you want to just act – the outcome will be worth it, plus you raise your confidence level so you keep going after your desires.

These five steps apply to your personal and business life because the truth is that you take yourself wherever you go, don’t you? When you are in control of how you make your decisions, why you make your decisions, you throw fear to the curb and are able to live a life that is free of fear and full of joy and happiness and purpose.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

If you’re struggling with reaching your goals, or live a fear- based life, don’t struggle. Reach out to get help and get started to live the life you desire.

September 1, 2023

A New Month: Time to Check Your Mental Health – 4 Signs That You Might Be Experiencing Anxiety and How to Manage It

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As we start a new month and wind down to a new year (only 4 months left), isn’t it time to do a quick check on yours mental wellness? The fall-out from the pandemic has taken its toll on many, not to mention so many adverse events people are living through, i.e. fires, hurricanes, financial concerns, a voting year, school is back – I could go on but stress and anxiety are still prevalent.

Change is a major cause of anxiety, which is an automatic response that occurs in the body. Anxiety is worry about the future and what will happen. If not managed, it can spiral out of control, leading to a host of emotional and physical problems.

Feeling anxious every once in a while is common but having an anxiety disorder are two very different things – when you are continually in an anxiety state, without it being managed, can lead to an anxiety disorder.

While there are different types of anxiety disorders (i.e. situational anxiety, social anxiety, etc.), a common thread between them all is that it interferes with your daily life and can really cause havoc if left unnoticed or untreated.

Here are four signs that may signal you are dealing with an anxiety disorder:

Your Anxious Thoughts Don’t Go Away

When you have an anxiety disorder, you often become incredibly anxious in situations where others might only get a little anxious, like during family or social gatherings. This anxiety also tends to last longer and is more persistent. When your anxious thoughts start to impact your daily life, that’s when it becomes an issue.

It can seem that no matter how hard you try to avoid anxious thoughts or worry, they seem stronger which increases any anxiety already felt. The more you push away, the stronger they come back. It can seem like you’re on the hamster wheel you can’t get off of.

Your Anxiety Manifests Itself Physically

If your anxious thoughts are accompanied by physical conditions, such as restlessness, fatigue, headaches, muscle pain, inability to sleep or eating problems, among others, it could signal that you have an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety disorders can lead to gastrointestinal issues, like heartburn, cramping, and even diarrhea. These physical symptoms are as a result of your body being in a constant heightened state of anxiety.

You Can’t Concentrate or Focus

It isn’t that uncommon for people who have a general anxiety disorder to be mistakenly diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). This is because when you have an anxiety disorder, you tend to have difficulty focusing.

When you’re always anxious, you tend to be in your head constantly and can get distracted by the negative thoughts and obsessions rattling around. Due to the hormone, cortisol which is automatically released when the amygdala (fight or flight) is triggered, the prefrontal cortex or executive functions of the brain is adversely affected, thereby, leading to concentration problems. You also may start to lose or forget things.

You Have Trouble Sleeping

The anxiety that you experience tends to take your thoughts on a ride that leaves you struggling to catch some zzz’s. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), some level of sleep disruption is present in almost all mental disorders, including anxiety.

The more you have trouble falling sleep, or waking up in the middle of the night, the more you will dread sleep which increases anxiety. Even if you are able to fall asleep, unrestful sleep has a negative impact in all areas, but can be detrimental to driving, working, and making decisions.

If you have more than one of these symptoms, there’s a good chance that you might be dealing with an anxiety disorder. However, before you jump to any conclusions, it’s best to speak with your doctor to rule out any other conditions, because anxiety symptoms often mimic other medical conditions.

Fortunately, anxiety disorders can be treated so that you can learn to manage your symptoms and get back to living your life. You have the power to overcome but it’s not as easy if anxiety takes over.

It’s important to understand that we all get anxious feelings, which results from change and stressors in our lives. Even good stress (Eustress) will result in emotional and physical feelings. It’s when these get prolonged and out-of-control is when you need to see help.

Using mindfulness practices, such as meditation, journaling, walking, eating healthy, and others are ways to better manage anxiety. Challenging your thoughts is the way to stop worry and thinking ahead – you don’t know the outcome, despite believing it, but you can be solution-focused to better prepare for those future outcomes. Another way is to seek the help of a coach or therapist to help you on this journey. All of these will help you to end the year on a good note to prepare for what is to come.

If you find that your experiencing levels of stress and anxiety, you don’t have to suffer – reach out to get help. We’re here for you.

August 23, 2023

The Benefits of Being Self-Disciplined

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Being self-disciplined has many beneficial results. These include a sense of accomplishment, more self-respect, and a better understanding of what you can do. Plus, with a routine you will know what to do each day, leaving you with more clarity and less stress.

What does it mean to be self-disciplined? According to Collins Dictionary, a disciplines person acts or behaves in a controlled way, with rules and standards. When you understand the beauty of this, you are the one in control who sets the standards to follow. You aren’t at the mercy of someone else.

While being disciplined is not always easy, it is well worth it. When you set goals and work on them every day until you accomplish them, you will feel proud of yourself. Not only because you accomplished the goal, but because you did not quit. You stayed the course and made them happen. If you think back to a prior achievement, you had a goal and worked on it every day until you reached it – how did you feel?

When you discipline yourself to accomplish a goal, you also increase your self-respect. Think of the people you have the most respect for and why; chances are that one of those reasons is that they have self-discipline. They set out to do something, not stopping until they accomplish it.

By doing the same, you can have more self-respect and confidence. However, when you aren’t self-disciplined you will feel less respect for yourself, which will lower your self-esteem, and are more likely to fall into negativity and states of depression and anxiety.

But, when you become disciplined in your habits and routines, you learn more of what you can do. You will have the ability to set higher goals and challenge yourself to meet them. You will find that you can overcome obstacles that you might have thought were too difficult, while learning more about who you are and what you can accomplish when you set your mind to it.

A lot of times people put limitations on themselves that are not really accurate. Think about something you think is not possible: is it really impossible or are you setting a limitation that is based out of a fear of some kind?

One way to find out is to set a goal and make it happen. As an example, you may want to run a marathon but, if you are a couch potato, you cannot immediately do so; but, over time as you build up your body with increasingly more intense exercise, you can. This is how discipline works.

Mindset is a huge part of a disciplined life – believe you can and you will. Put affirmational words on your bathroom mirror, write them down, say them loud so they ‘stick’ and you believe, i.e. “I can and I will.”

Now it is your turn. Choose a goal that you want to achieve, and set up milestones, i.e. daily or weekly actions, along the way. Then each day do something to make those milestones happen. It does not have to be anything major, just one more small step on the way to your final goal. Having discipline will put you in the mindset of achievement, while having accountability, to stay the course until the goal is reached.

When you reach that final goal, take stock of how you feel about yourself and what you are capable of doing. Self-recognition is vital to future achievements so be sure to write them down.

“Discipline is doing what you really don’t want to do so you can do what you really want to do” (Jeff Fisher)

If you’re struggling with starting and achieving your goals, reach out for help and to get started. We’re here for you!

August 1, 2023

It’s a Great Month to Figure Out What Am I Doing with My Life? Tips for Figuring Things Out

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Do you often find yourself wondering what you are doing in life? Many people reach a point where they feel they lack direction in their lives. Instead of living life to the full, they simply go through the motions.

If this sounds like you, there are things you can do to help you get out of the rut you are currently in. Today starts the beginning of August, so what better time than to get this question answered, so you can start a new chapter.

Below, you’ll discover some fabulous tips for figuring out what it is you want from life. Just remember, there are no right or wrong answers here; these tips are meant for you to explore your inner game which will lead to your outer game, i.e. gaining clarity and direction:

Consider Your Passions

If you want to know what direction to go in, it’s helpful to think about the things you are passionate about. The things that motivate and inspire you will change on a frequent basis. For example, what you want today may look very different to what you wanted a few months ago.

As we change and adapt over time according to our experiences. This means to keep a direction in life, we need to constantly assess what it is we want. Figuring out the things you are passionate about will help you to understand where to go next and what you need to do to get there.

Address Your Fears

Even if you know what it is you want to do, you might be stuck because of fear. Known to be one of our most powerful emotions, fear can stop you from going after the things you truly want in life.

So, if you are going to move forward and figure out what it is you are doing in life, you are going to need to address your fears. Figure out where the fear is coming from. Then, be willing to work through them so you can stop them controlling your life.

Assess Your Current Goals

Do you have any goals you are working on right now? Chances are, if you aren’t sure what you are doing in your life, you won’t have any goals to work towards that mean something. This can contribute towards the problem.

You need to set yourself goals to keep the mind motivated and positive. When you have things to work for, it gives you a purpose each day. As you see yourself progressing through your goals, it generates more motivation to get you to where you need to be.

Make sure you set small, specific goals that are easy to achieve.

You Don’t Need To Have It All Figured Out

Nobody has their life totally figured out. There will always be doubts and things you want to do better. You don’t have to have it all figured out all the time. In fact, just going with the flow sometimes can present you with a lot of opportunities you would otherwise miss. As stated earlier, there are no right or wrong answers to go with the flow and see where it leads you.

Feeling like you don’t know what you are doing in life can be lonely and frustrating. However, the above are just some of the things you can do to figure out what it is you want. Take a notepad and pen and just reflect; free-write any ideas or thoughts you have to get them out, then you can go back and edit to make sense of them.

Change isn’t easy but with the right mind-set, goals, and a plan, you can do anything. Oh, and some hard work. Determine to make this month the start of the ‘new you.’

“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.”

(Germany Kent)