Your Attitude Counts More Than Your Aptitude

Your Attitude Counts More than Your Aptitude

A lot of people have tricked themselves into thinking that for them to make any kind of fundamental positive change in their lives, they have to learn certain things. For example, if you are struggling with finances and you don’t have a college degree, it’s very easy for you to say to yourself, “Well, the only way I can really get a leg up in my career is to get that four-year degree. Since I’m too old and I already have kids or you have a long laundry list of other reasons, you just basically say to yourself, “Well, I’m screwed. That’s not an option. The college degree is unattainable so here I am, I’m stuck forever.”

 

What you’re looking at is not reality. It’s your take on reality. Your thoughts are not real – they are your perceptions and interpretation of events that occur. Your analysis of reality is not reality itself and is really just a reflection of your attitude.

 

If you think that aptitude is the way forward to all of life, you’re wrong. In most cases, employers are more likely to take chances on people with the right attitude than the ones with all the qualifications. I have seen employers who struggle in wanting to hire the most ablest candidate but overlook their attitude and regret that decision later.

 

These people may seem perfect on paper but if their attitude is wrong, then it’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. I’m sure it’s possible after enough pushing but it’s not all that efficient. It may also be planting the seeds for future destruction. Most people would simply not do it.

 

This is why it really boils down to attitude. If you have the right attitude, don’t worry about not having the technical know-how. That will come. You will find a way. The key is do you believe in yourself enough to want to find the way?

 

If you think that everything has been closed off to you, and you are essentially just a very limited person because other people have it in for you and are conspiring against you, believe me, it doesn’t really matter what your aptitude is. You might even be the smartest person in the room but if you have that attitude of persecution and you feel that possibilities are always closed off, you will always remain stuck.

 

On the other hand, if you know that you don’t know certain things but you have the right attitude, you will make things happen. Maybe you would take night classes. Perhaps you would take online classes. Possibly, you would partner up with another person to get into some sort of semi-formal or informal apprenticeship. Even reading books, such as on leadership or mindset or a topic of interest, will raise your knowledge and skills. There are many ways to skin a cat, so to speak. It all boils down to your willingness to even try.

 

The problem with rigid or negative attitudes is that you basically end up robbing yourself of possibilities. You basically tell yourself, “Well, there’s only one way to achieve a certain outcome. Since that path is somehow some way off-limits to me, then this means I have no hope.” Who told you that’s the only way forward?

 

When you look at the careers of a lot of successful people on the planet, it turns out that a lot of them started out as janitors. A lot of them were illiterate. A lot of them were poor. A lot of them were immigrants with not even a penny to their name. Many were told that they would never make it but they did – look at the Wright Brothers, Benjamin Franklin or Wat Disney. Even J.K. Rowling was turned down by 12 publishers before the Harr Potter series – and conglomerate – were birthed.

 

Attitude counts more than aptitude. If you allow yourself to believe that you can achieve, then anxiety and constantly feeling that the best things in life have already been taken or that there all these barriers arrayed against you, things become wide open. You start seeing the possibilities. The opportunities become manifested and, before you know it, the way forward presents itself. You find yourself at the right place with the right people at the right time doing the right things.

 

Having an idea, going after it, and then never being deterred will lead to success – it all starts with having the right attitude. Begin, today, to turn yours to  positives – affirmations, mindfulness, and positive self-talk can get you on the right path, so start today!

 

Why Being Assertive is Important and How to Develop It

Before you start, it’s important to understand what being assertive means. Psychologists define assertiveness as being able to express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view while respecting the rights and beliefs of others, while maintaining control of one’s emotions (APA.org). The basis of assertiveness is mutual respect and honesty. Assertive communicators are straightforward and know how to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Their relationships value and promote trust.

If you’re serious about living an authentic life and succeeding in reaching your goals, learning to be assertive is crucial. It’s one of the soft-skills that are needed to lead and survive in the workplace.

Think about how you feel about your life right now: Are you satisfied with your personal and professional situation? Are you conflict avoidant? Do you worry about what other people think of you? Do you tend to over-do and give to others but then get angry that you did?

If you’re not happy with where you are now, the good news is that assertiveness is a habit that can be learned just like any other. With practice and commitment, you can change your mindset and live a life more aligned with your true values and aspirations.

Try these tips for introducing a more assertive approach into your life:

  • Decide what your priorities are and stick to them.
  • Work out your individual boundaries i.e. what you will/will not accept from others or do for others
  • Develop a positive open posture and look people in the eye when you speak to them.
  • Use positive ‘I’ statements about how you’re feeling instead of blaming or finding fault with the other person. Be especially wary of feeling tempted to say words such as: ‘you always’ ‘you never’ ‘you should or you must’
  • Get comfortable with saying ‘no’ to things you don’t want to or can’t do. Keep it simple and non-emotive and don’t feel you need to add an excuse or explanation.
  • Only use ‘sorry’ when it’s appropriate for the situation. You don’t need to apologize for saying no.
  • Offer alternative suggestions to proposals you don’t like.
  • Look for compromises and negotiate on them
  • Be honest and direct about your feelings, thoughts, and intentions.
  • Consider writing a script for a situation that feels awkward. Rehearse being confident.

Try to keep your focus on the impact of the situation and finding a way to work together to find a mutually satisfying solution, which is where negotiation comes in to play; there is always a workable solution. Agreeing to disagree and learning to walk away from a situation will bring you inner peace.

Above all, being assertive means staying in your power, accepting that you have control over how you approach the situation and your feelings about it. Assertiveness won’t get you everything you want all the time, but you will feel in control and deal much better with situations that would have previously been stressful.