Are you feeling frustrated these days? Our world is filled with changes daily, some of which are not of our choosing. The ‘old ways’ are no longer in practice and you may find yourself feeling frustrated in how to adapt.
Chances are you’ve been here before. You’ve probably even worked out some coping strategies for when you’re stressed. The problem is, some of those strategies aren’t the best, a fact you’re already aware of.
Handling stress in healthy ways is an ongoing challenge. That’s because as humans, when we’re frustrated, we tend to react rather than respond; these reactions can come out in adverse ways that are not healthy for us, or others.
The good news is that there are more natural and healthy ways to deal with your frustrations. Remaining calm and feeling in control will allow for more positive reactions that are good for your emotional health:
Accept It
The first step in dealing with anything is to accept the reality of it. Once you’ve acknowledged that you are frustrated, you can do something about it and it no longer rules your life. When you put a name to the real reason behind the feeling of frustration is when you can change that narrative and think more positively.
For example, you might be frustrated at work that your ideas are being ignored (or seem to be) by your team during meetings, but the emotion behind it might be that you feel unheard, devalued, or unworthy. Frustration is very vague but when you relate the thought, or reason, to a name this makes it more real and you can now take some action to go after what you truly want, i.e. to be listened to or allowed time to speak up in meetings.
Send an S.O.S
Pretend you are behind enemy lines and stuck there. You need to send out a distress signal to get help in escaping. Frustrating situations can hold us captive, as if we are prisoners, who are stuck in our thoughts. You can ask for help, but you’ll need to ask for that help in a letter. This is one of the best ways to gain perspective on what is leading to feeling frustrated but, also, to release them.
Describe your distress, including all details of how you got where you are. Ask for help and what kind you need. You can aim the focus on a particular person or group and tell them exactly how you feel. No one will see it or judge you so you can say whatever you need to; this is why writing is a great way to release these feelings.
When finished? Wish the person well, let them (or the situation) know you are releasing them and will no longer be controlled by those emotions. Then, destroy the letter – burning is the best way, but you can put it in the freezer or bury it. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel (and you might even get an idea for ‘rescues’ from the exercise).
Make a List
What are the possibilities and options toward fixing whatever is causing the frustration? List everything you can think of, even the silly ideas. Write what your ideal outcome is and how you would get there. You may be surprised at how creative you can be. You can use this list as a jumping off point toward finding a solution that can be useful now and in the future.
Laugh
Read something funny. Watch a comedy. Tune in to your favorite comedian. Find a class for laughter therapy or laughter yoga. Do something fun or with family/friends. The act of laughter releases endorphins in the brain, helping you to feel better and think more clearly. Laughter releases negative emotions – you can’t feel mad and happy at the same time. Frustration doesn’t stand a chance.
Look at the Big Picture
What will this frustration look like next week? Next month? Next year? Will it be as scary as it is today? Asking these kinds of questions helps you to put your frustration in perspective, making it smaller and easier to deal with right now.
Find Some Energy
Hang around people who are full of enthusiasm. Being around positive people helps you to remain positive and likewise energizes yourself. Frustration fades in this environment.
Socialize and Talk It Out
Talk about what’s frustrating you with someone else; you can even post the situation on your social media or in a group forum if you feel comfortable. You’ll find out very quickly that you’re not alone. More importantly, you’ll see other people who have successfully gotten past this very same point and can give you some suggestions you may not have thought of. If you aren’t in a position to be around others, you can always ‘talk’ out your frustrations as if you were speaking to someone else; this ‘empty chair’ exercise is great, especially if your write it out.
Focus on Something Else
Doing mindless, repetitive work helps to put your focus elsewhere. Break your frustrating task into tiny pieces and work each one with full concentration. Use the Pomodoro Method by working for 20 minutes then taking a break, etc; setting a timer will help you to keep focused. Celebrate progress; if you need to, start small and work up. Frustration gets lost in concentration.
Be Grateful
Lastly, one of the best ways to refocus your thoughts is by being thankful on what you think you don’t have and shows you what you do. It will change your thinking and gives you strength to get through.
There are dozens of ways to get past frustration. Experiment and find what works for you. The key is not to give in but to keep pressing onward. As with anything, the more you do these steps, the more they will become a (good) habit for any situation you might have.
At the end of the day, you’re responsible for yourself and your actions and that’s all you can control. So rather than be frustrated with what you can’t control, try to fix the things you can. (Kevin Garnett)
