Do you deal with a coworker who affects you emotionally? These are individuals who:
- are chronically late to work or on projects (and not with good reasons)
- don’t contribute to the team
- don’t seem to comprehend the goal or processes and need constant direction
- likewise, those who are eternal question-askers
- are chronic complainers (and never offer a solution)
- bark orders but never offer to pitch in
- who seem to always be in a crises
I’m sure there are many others but these are some of the top reasons why clients come to me. They don’t know how to deal with these types of behaviors which leaves them feeling resentful, angry, or anxious. They often find themselves not wanting to go to work to avoid these individuals.
I find that high-performers are affected more by these bad behaviors; you know these individuals who show up (or early) and get the work done happily; they are the solution-focused who aren’t willing to settle for the status-quo. These individuals have little tolerance for others who aren’t showing up each day to get the work done (and rightfully so).
When taking a job, there is an expectation that work is the focus in order to serve customers who keep the business successful. However, in the day-to-day drudgery this seems to get lost and people get in their silos of just doing the job, forgetting the purpose of them being there. These individuals are at risk for finding the negatives in their role and becoming unhappy and disengaged. The result? The above behaviors.
Being affected by other’s emotions can become toxic for many over time, especially those who are empathetic in nature. Empaths tend to be givers and helpers and are great at trying to understand other’s viewpoints and actions. But these individuals can also take on others’ emotions, which neuroscience shows happens. This leaves them vulnerable to be emotionally affected in some way.
Take, for instance, being around a chronic complainer; an empath will feel this negativity more deeply and feel frustrated that they can’t help, or that their suggestions go unrecognized. Chronic complainers don’t want a solution – they want change but in their way. An empath will be unsure of how to proceed, leaving them frustrated and anxious to avoid the complainer; many begin to hate their jobs.
If this sounds familiar, here are 3 quick tips to reconnect with your job so you aren’t affected emotionally:
1. Stay in your own lane: focus only on your work-goals and outcomes you aim to achieve. Find the pleasures in the work you, tying them to your skills and talents, which leads to more confidence and satisfaction. You won’t have time to worry about what others are doing, or not doing, which stops any negativity you may experience.
2. Use empathy: Strive to hear what’s behind a behavior, as there is always some emotion there; this puts the responsibility on the person and not on you to help them solve their problem or take on their negative emotion. These individuals may be dealing with hard times in their personal life that spill over into the workplace. Also, be assertive and ask them to stop and take their complaining elsewhere.
3. Practice self-care: focus on your own happiness in the work you do, as it this takes the focus off of the other person and puts it where it needs to be – you. Take deep breaths; remove yourself by taking a break and go outside; refocus on your own work tasks and your satisfactions in the job. When you focus on you and your needs, you won’t worry about others and they won’t affect you.
Other’s behaviors will only impact you if you allow them to. If anything, see yourself as having an invisible shield that you put up when around these types of behaviors that can’t be penetrated. You’ll be much happier doing so.
If you’re ready to rev-up your success factor, contact today for a free discovery/strategy session to learn how.