The Power of Self-Talk

One of the most powerful ‘tools’ you can use is that of self-talk; this is where you talk to yourself as if it were a friend, family member, or coach.  Self-talk allows you to hear perspectives from an outside source.

Self-talk can be done in both the positive and the negative. From a positive perspective, you can say affirmational words, such as ‘I rock’ or ‘I am extremely talented.’ Tony Robbins says to look yourself in a mirror and repeat ‘you are beautiful’ so those words ‘stick’ in your mind and reinforce positive patterns.

Self-talk on the negative side is when you challenge any negative, or derogatory, words or thoughts you are saying to yourself.  Dr. Daniel Amen says to talk to yourself as if a teenager would: “you’re really going to say that you aren’t good enough – remember the time when……..” Disrupting negative patterns will stop this behavior.

However, it’s not enough to stop a negative thought as we need to replace it with a positive. From a neuroscientist perspective, we need three positive thoughts to override one negative which is why the positive words need to come. Consistency is what give mastery, so the more you keep saying positive thoughts the more you will maintain positive habits.

Living in the right side of our brain is what creates a more satisfied and happier life, where you will take risks and move towards your goals and dreams.  Being creative through your passions or coming up with ideas, living in peace and love all elevate your mood and outlook. While you may have adversity, you won’t look at them as doom and gloom but as what they are, which will allow you to find solutions to deal with them and to let them go.

I’ve had clients who have used this technique and find their outlook as happier; they feel less-stressed and calmer. Those annoying co-workers may just be having a bad day vs ignoring them, or getting angry; family members who have hurt us in some way can now be viewed as hurting themselves so their actions are not taken as an attack; past failures can now be forgiven and new resolves to learn from them as the norm.

Self-talk is a powerful tool to use to delete negative patterns and to override fears you have.  An important step is to reinforce new behaviors you’ve developed so when you find yourself in a situation where you are holding back, you can remember a past success.

Our brains tend to hold onto negative thoughts, which then become predictors for the future; using self-talk to challenge that fear, and then remembering a past success, is what will move your forward. For example: as a child, do you remember when you were learning how to ride a bike? You started off with training wheels but then your parent said it’s time to take them off and ride without them; you may have said no, or cried when it was time, because it was scary and you didn’t want to fall. However, you did- but then you got up and tried again and again and, maybe, again, until you got it right.

When you want to learn a new task, and you don’t think you can, go back and remember your experience of learning to ride a bike but the success you had; self-talk comes into play “See, you can do it – you didn’t think you could but you did.” This will change your whole outlook to move you in the direction you want to go.

Start today to use self-talk when you feel challenged and see how it positively impacts your life.  Write down your new achievements as ‘proof’ – you will now be able to work off of them, as your self-efficacy and confidence increases , and to move you through fears that may arise.

Leaders: Creating a Happier Workplace Culture

We all want to be happy; however, many struggle with maintaining this state. No truer is this statement than in the workplace where many drudge along and don’t seem to find any positives in their work environment.
Workers want to go to an organization that is relaxed, fun, open, i.e happy. They don’t want to go to a place that is drab and dreary, or no fun.
How can a leader develop a happier workplace culture? While there are many ways, it really has to start at the top. If the leader is not happy, or portrays being that way, it can demotivate workers to even try. People follow a leader who is like them and makes them feel part of the team. Also, a leader who is willing to create a positive work environment will inspire workers to follow.
Here are 5 ways that leaders can create happier workplace cultures:

  1. Be open – this means being available to your people and showing that you’re open to them. Greet them each morning (by name); ask how they are doing on a project; see if they need help, etc. Have an open-door policy so they trust that you are receptive and welcoming. This creates an open environment which leads to inclusion and happier workers
  2. Communicate – communication is so crucial in any relationship so be sure you are conveying relevant information and in a timely manner; have regular meetings with them, as a group and individually, to give and gain (yes, get their) feedback on ideas, problem solutions, on improvements needed, as well as letting them know how they are doing in their job. This leads to less confusion on what needs to be done, as well as progress made, all of which leads to happier workers.
  3. Know your people – get to know your employees on an individual basis, as people with lives outside of work and who have wants and needs to be met. As everything today is ‘how you make me feel,’ being interested in your workers can lead to meeting their needs while building a bond with them, which is what will keep them following your lead. Learn their motivations, the best part of their job, their strengths, their children’s names or favorite sports team – this makes a worker feel special and they feel more satisfied (and happier) with their work.
  4. Recognition – we all want to be recognized for the work we do, so show your employees how their work contributes to organizational goals, including special talents or skills they’ve shown in that work; say thank you, bring bagels or cookies (food is always appreciated), write them a personal note, recognize them in a meeting – I’m sure you get the picture. It’s not how it’s done – just that it is done, and often. Recognized workers = happier workers.
  5. Have fun – do team-building exercises; have a pot luck day, where everyone brings a dish in and eats together; have a theme-day, where workers can wear a color or decorate their office/cube to match; plan a contest, such as guess the baby picture or vote on a favorite joke. This can lessen stressful days and give workers something to look forward to each month, all of which creates happier workers.

These five tips have been heard from individuals I’ve met and interviewed so these are valid and highly desired. Changing a culture isn’t always easy, as the human brain can be resistive even to positives. As a leader, start with one or two – get to know your people and their ideas on creating a happier culture, and ask for their ideas and help; ensure you are communicating the intent for doing so, as well as progress on generated ideas so everyone knows what’s going on to get on board. Soon, you can have a culture that is open, relaxed, and happier all of which leads to more devoted workers and a productive and high-performing culture.
Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting focuses on workplace happiness and organizational success. If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! or
For more great tips, visit our other blog at https://cysoaching .com

Getting Through the Holidays Productively

We are now officially in the throes of the holiday season- parties, baking and buying gifts have now become the focus of many, with holiday parties on the horizon.  How do you get through the holidays productively?


These next couple of weeks can be a time of distraction for many. Finding the balance between keeping your performance high at work with enjoying the holidays can be challenging but, with some planning along with a good mindset you can sail through the holidays (and keep your sanity, too).

Make a list of all you think you need to do in the next couple of weeks: list it all – baking, shopping wrapping gifts, parties, travel plans (if going away) , as well as work tasks you have to get done. Don’t leave anything out (includes paying bills, cleaning house, taking the kids to activities, etc.).

Prioritize the list: now it’s time to give priority to the tasks you’ve listed; some suggestions include working backwards from the due date as this will help you to know exactly what is on the to-do list for each day; another would be to give an A-B-C rating (i.e. A- within 1-2 weeks; B – two weeks -1 month; C – longer).

Get out your calendar: plug in each activity on your calendar, whichever is your preference – physical planner, phone app, whiteboard, computer and the like.  Also set times in your schedule, as well as a timer to remind you of due-dates.

Check your mindset: you can either look at your “to-do’s” as an enjoyable part of the holidays or as chores that have to get done; mindset can determine how you make it through these next weeks. Stress can take it’s toll if allowed: good stress (eustress) can motivate you to get the list done or it can keep you down. Be sure to practice mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditative practices, exercise, journaling, gratitude, and the like. Put on some Christmas music or movies to lift your spirits and keep you in the holiday mood.

Mindset will be your best friend, both at home and at work.  Begin each day with a gratitude statement and a determination for how you want your day to go. I’m not sure why it seems the holidays set off the stress alarm but, with some planning and a positive attitude, you can make it through merrily!

Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting focuses on workplace happiness and organizational success. If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! or

For other great tips, visit our other blog at


Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing you and your family a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving. May your day be filled with fun times with family and friends, and relaxation. Enjoy your day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing you and your family a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving. May your day be filled with fun times with family and friends, and relaxation. Enjoy your day!

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