Month: July 2023

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Self-Sabotaging Behaviors That Keep You From Doing and Getting What You Want

Do you ever find yourself wanting success but not going after it? Have you ever not raised your hand to take on a more challenging role or expressing an opinion, despite knowing the answer? Do you stay in the background, allowing others to take the lead even though you know you have the ability to do so?

If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of these, then you have fallen into the trap of self-sabotage.

Quite frankly, we all have been our own worst enemy at times. Self-sabotage is when you don’t do the things you want, or do the opposite of what you intended. You could have a great relationship but do something that messes it up, or have a great job but then start showing up late to work or on assignments.

The results of this type of behavior can be severe:

  • Your income will suffer.
  • Your self-esteem will plummet.
  • Your confidence will find new lows.
  • Tasks remain unfinished

The end result? Frustration. Burnout. Resentment (of your clients or your business). And, yes, even more self-sabotaging behaviors not to mention feelings of guilt and shame.

This downward spiral can quickly turn devastating, but stopping it is easy when you learn to recognize the symptoms.

Procrastination

Did you mean to apply for that high-end coaching program but missed the deadline? Or maybe you were going to send a proposal to a potential new client, but waited too long? Or maybe you simply waited too long to take advantage of a sale price on a hot new app that everyone’s raving about.

These and other missed opportunities can often be blamed on simple procrastination, one of the most destructive habits we suffer from. Procrastination is what keeps us working late at night to make a deadline, costs us money in late fees, and even costs us business.

If you’re prone to procrastination, try these techniques to put an end to it:

  • Recognize your fear. What often keeps you stuck is simple fear. You’re afraid that even with that amazing coach you still won’t reach your goals, so you put off applying. You’re afraid you’ll look bad when compared to other proposals, so you just don’t send one. But if you want to be successful in business, you must learn to recognize and face your fears, then do the work anyway.
  • Start with small steps to not activate the fear center; doing small task will make the word seem easier so you will continue on.
  • Visualize the life and business you desire. Imagine what it will be like to have that amazing business you’ve been dreaming about. Picture your ideal workday, daydream about that fabulous vacation you’ll take, and imagine VIP days with your ideal client.
  • Reward yourself. It’s okay to give yourself a little incentive for getting things done. Take yourself out to lunch; buy a new pair of shoes; take an afternoon off. Do what’s most likely to motivate you to power through your fears and take the next step.

Failing to Complete Your Projects

Be honest. How many half-written books, partially planned programs, and unfinished products are cluttering up your hard drive right now?

If you’re like a lot of entrepreneurs, the answer is probably several.

You started all of them with great enthusiasm. You planned out the modules or chapters, created the slide decks, and maybe even outlined the sales page. And then…you just stopped working on it.

Maybe you tell yourself that you’re too busy. Maybe you “need to do some more research.” Or maybe you simply lost interest. But the truth is, none of those are the real reason. For a lot of people, this self-sabotaging habit is actually a symptom of a lack of confidence, and it’s keeping you from the success you deserve.

Consider this: You cannot know the actual success rate of a project you’ve never finished, and you cannot improve upon something you’ve never completed. So rather than filling your hard drive with half-finished projects, power through and start releasing them—even if you believe they’re not perfect, and even if you think they’ll never sell. You are not a fortune-teller who can predict the future – you will do so only if you create it.

 

If you find yourself procrastinating and not achieving your goals, then isn’t it time to get help? Reach out to learn more – mindset matters.

 

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Why We Need Inspiration in Our Lives

Right now, I think we can all use some inspiration in our lives, considering how crazy our world has gotten, post pandemic.  Everyday there is something happening that seems more absurd but, sadly, is reality.  Just when we think things are calming down, some news item relates to turmoil somewhere.

Whether it’s the war in Ukraine. The Hollywood writer’s strike, the heatwave across the U.S., politics, finances – I could go on. It seems, some days, that there is no end in sight.

It’s easy to feel scared and discouraged while also carrying with your life. Having inspiration in your life can be the key to carrying on calmly.

The definition of inspiration is “the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative” (Oxford Languages, n.d.) Inspiration cannot be measured or quantified: inspiration is an inside job, starting with your mindset.

In today’s world, most people often consider that which can be measured being more important or more valuable. But without inspiration, there’s nothing to measure because we produce nothing. Inspiration is what creates, and all that is measured, springs from this nebulous concept.

 

There are three parts to inspiration, according to psychologists Todd Thrash and Andrew Elliot (2003):

  1. Evocation. Inspiration is created spontaneously and without intent. The word inspiration means “divine breath.” Inspiration is not a part of our baser, more primal brains; it serves no purpose for basic survival.
  2.  Transcendence. This part comes in moments of clarity and with the awareness of new possibilities. Inspiration is indeed the mark of higher consciousness in us. Inspiration comes from a place of beauty and clarity.
  3. Approach It’s a fancy way of saying that the person with the inspiration seeks to communicate that vision. Either by talking about it, creating the vision in real life or letting others share in the vision.

People who are inspired have some common traits. For one thing, they are more open to new experiences. That almost always comes before the inspiration hits, indicating a certain willingness to be open to inspiration as a precedent to experiencing it.

It’s important to note that inspired people were neither more nor less conscientious than any others. Meaning that inspiration wasn’t something that they could command or “will” to happen.

The other thing inspired people have in common is a strong desire to master what they do. However, they are also not competitive. Remember that inspiration is transcendent, and competition is a survival instinct. That indicates that trying to beat out or one-up someone is not conducive to inspiration.

There are other critical factors in people who are often inspired.

  1. A confidence in their abilities. Even though they may not be experts in everything, they are comfortable with their specialtie
  2. Self-esteem. Inspired people have the confidence not to doubt themselves, indicating that they are able not to sabotage themselves.
  3. Optimism. It’s difficult to be inspired if you’re stuck in a negative state. People with optimism are more open and more prone to inspiration. Inspiration is not just a flash of vision; it’s a motivation that births creativity and motivation. People who get inspired are usually the ones more eager to jump into a project or expand their business. They have the ability to see inspiration in many avenues, such as art, music, and people.

Inspiration can be found all around – you just have to look for it; pay attention to your surroundings to get inspired; it may be like the ‘lightbulb’ to go off, or the ‘aha moment’ – capture those and use them to move forward in all areas of your life.

 

Inspiration and motivation may come from others, but true inspiration comes from within. (Catherine Pulsifer)

If you’re wanting to do and be more in your life, we can inspire you to get where you want to go. Reach out to learn more.

 

 

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8 Tips for Handling Frustration in a Healthy Way

As we start a new week, you will be faced with frustration both in your job and at home. It could be finances, something with your kids or partner, or that a situation doesn’t play out like you thought it would. Frustration leads to stress, that overwhelming feeling of not being in control over your situations.

 

Stress, actually, is our capacity to handle situations, events, people, etc. in our lives; if we feel there is ‘too much’ then this can lead to mental, emotional, and physical symptoms that can spiral out of control if not addressed.

 

Handling stress in healthy ways is an ongoing challenge. That’s because when we’re frustrated, we tend to react rather than respond. The good news is there are natural, healthy ways to deal with your frustration:

 

Accept It

The first step in dealing with anything is to accept the reality of it. Once you’ve acknowledged you’re frustrated, you can do something about it, and it no longer rules your life.

 

Send an S.O.S

Pretend you’re behind enemy lines and stuck there. You can ask for help, but you’ll need to ask for that help in a letter. Describe your distress, including all the details of how you got where you are. Ask for help. When finished? Destroy the letter. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel (and you might even get an idea for ‘rescue’ from the exercise).

 

Make a List

What are your options toward fixing whatever is causing the frustration? List everything you can think of, even the silly ideas. Use this list as a jumping off point toward finding a solution.

 

Laugh

Read something funny. Watch a comedy. Tune in to your favorite comedian. The act of laughter releases endorphins in the brain, helping you to feel better and think more clearly. Frustration doesn’t stand a chance.

 

Look at the Big Picture

What will this frustration look like next week? Next month? Next year? Will it be as scary as it is today? Asking these kinds of questions helps you to put your frustration in perspective, making it smaller and easier to deal with right now.

 

Find Some Energy

Hang around people who are full of enthusiasm. Being around positive people helps you to remain positive and likewise energizes yourself. Frustration fades in this environment.

 

Socialize

Talk about what’s frustrating you with someone else or post it on your social media. You’ll find out very quickly that you’re not alone. More importantly, you’ll see other people who have successfully gotten past this very same point.

 

Focus on Something Else

Doing mindless, repetitive work helps to put your focus elsewhere. Break your frustrating task into tiny pieces and work each one with full concentration. Celebrate progress. Frustration gets lost in concentration.

 

 

There are dozens of ways to get past frustration. Experiment and find what works for you. The key is not to give in. Keep pressing onward. You’ll get through these episodes with awareness and repetition. As the saying goes: ‘this, too, shall pass.”

 

If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, and not sure how to cope, let us help. We work with teams, also.

 

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Tap Into the Power of the Present Moment to Achieve Breakthroughs

Has this ever happened to you? You were thinking about a problem and no matter how hard you focus it seems that you’re stuck. You’ve gone over the problem several times. You have tried to redefine it. You’ve looked at it from different angles. It seems that no matter what do you do and regardless of when you think about the problem, nothing seems to happen.

 

A lot of this has to do with the fact that your conscious mind can easily get stuck in a holding pattern. If you’ve ever gotten on a plane that was trying to land at a busy airport, you probably have experienced a holding pattern before. Your plane would circle around a city several times delaying the moment of your arrival. When the runway clears and your plane is given the green light to land, your pilot will then break the holding pattern and start the descent.

 

It’s not much different from your thoughts. When your mind is burning precious energy trying to achieve some sort of breakthrough because you have to, and you find yourself at an impasse – your brain it goes into a holding pattern. It’s as if you can’t think of anything new. You just keep revisiting the same things over and over again.

 

A big part of this is due to the release of the hormone Cortisol, which goes immediately to the pre-frontal cortex area of the brain, or our executive functions; the resulting effect include confusion, concentration, and memory issues. The more you keep trying to solve a problem, the more foggier you will feel.

 

Think of the last time you lost or misplaced something, such as your keys. I’m willing to bet that when you were looking for your keys, you kept checking at the places that you checked before. At the back of your head, you know that your keys aren’t there. After all, you just checked it a few minutes before but you can’t help yourself to keep checking again and again and again.

 

Maybe you just didn’t look properly. Perhaps it’s stuck somewhere in the back of your purse or the car seat. Possibly, you just didn’t pay enough attention so you keep repeating this pattern over and over again. That’s how your mind works.

 

Unfortunately, this habit doesn’t get us any closer to the solution. How can it? You keep revisiting the same process. As the old saying goes, insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results each time. How can you achieve different results when you’re doing the same thing?

 

When you focus on the present moment, you get the chance to focus on your issues right here, right now. This is the power of mindfulness. In other words, you can train all your creative and imaginative resources to the right problem at the right time and, at the right place. This is definitely better than worrying sick about stuff that may or may not happen or, worse yet, crying over spilled milk.

 

By learning to tap the present moment through mindfulness or meditation practices, you start looking at your situation differently. The reason why this happens is because your subconscious mind enters the picture. Your subconscious mind is very powerful. It enables you to achieve breakthroughs when you thought these were simply not possible.

 

Going back to the keys, if you sat and allowed your mind to relax, you would soon find them as you are thinking more clearly and calmly. Use the power of your subconscious mind to be more present in the moment and achieve amazing results in your life. It takes practice to get into this state, but the result is worth the effort, as the saying goes.

 

If you’re looking to up your performance and productivity, and get more done in your life, reach out to learn more and get started living your best life.

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