In order to achieve any desire, you need to have one vital piece which is to have self-belief; this is also known as self-efficacy, or the belief that you can act in ways so you will achieve your goals (Bandura, 1977). Even if you say, on a conscious level, that you can do something you won’t if you don’t fundamentally believe that yo u can.
You may wonder why it is important to believe in yourself. The simple answer is that if you don’t, no one else will. Actions and results are what lead others to believe that you can do what you say you will; however, if you don’t follow through, then their trust wanes and they stop fully believing in you.
However, the reverse can be true: you may have accomplished a goal in the past but took your achievements for granted. You may have failed at something but allow that to stick, so your thinking may be “I’m not good at anything.” This, then, becomes your belief system and you may have the tendency to reject any compliments or attribute your success to good luck.
Truth is if was all you who achieved the tasks, but your psyche isn’t allowing you to accept this truth. Others see if but you don’t (or won’t). Getting to the fundamental truth is what will lead you to accept that you were the one behind the achievement – any.
Why is it so hard for you to have self-belief? We can look at some reasons, such as being raised where you were told to be self-less and do for others; another reason is that it could be looked at as bragging or boasting; some don’t want to draw attention to themselves; while for others, the fear if not being good enough comes in to play.
It’s actually those little gremlins lying dormant in your head but controlling your thoughts and beliefs. The more you allow them to stay in your head, the more power they have to control you and your actions. From working with clients s, their frustration with a lack of self-belief leads to anxiety and, in some instances, depression, as don’t believe they can change this way of thinking.
But, nothing can be further from the truth. I will say, however, that changing mindset is not easy but it can be done with practice and consistency. It’s a new way of challenging and changing your thoughts but focusing on positives versus negatives.
Here are a few tips to get started:
- Keep track of your accomplishments – at the end of each day, write down activities you did and the successes you had; it doesn’t matter how big or small they are as you did them.
- Keep an accomplishment jar or box – get a jar, with small strips of paper or sticky notes, and write down your achivements; it’s so gratifying when you see the jar fill up and, you can take one or two out if you’re feeling unmotivated or down on yourself.
- Look back at a past event or achievement that you had originally believed you would not be able to do and write out that scenario, including the skills, resources, support, and mindset it took to make it happen.
- Write down 10 things you like about yourself – be really honest, as this will allow you to identify and savor the good parts of you that you use every day.
- Ask others – this one takes a bit of bravery, but ask your family, friends, or coworkers what is a word that comes to mind when they think of you. If you’re really brave, post this on your social media. I can tell you it’s very reaffirming when you hear positive thoughts and compliments from others.
Try one of these tips, then add another, so you can beging to change your mindset and view of yourself (belief). To look at this another way, you have already achieved and been through ‘stuff’ – you just have to see this viewpoint. Be sure to hold and savor the good so it will ‘feel’ good (we do tend to reject what doesn’t feel good). With enough consistency, new habits will be cemented and your self-belief and confidence will be second nature. Aren’t you worth it?
“Believe in yourself, our abilities, a d our own potential. Never let self-doubt hold you captive. You are worthy of all that you dream of and hope for.” (Roy Bennett)
If you’re struggling with a negative mindset, reach out to see how we can help you change this way of thinking.