Blog ~ Page 11 of 37 ~ Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting

March 2, 2020

Monday Motivation: Old Stuff Day – Unclutter Your Space, Unclutter Your Mind

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Today is “Old Stuff Day.’ Yes, there is literally a recognition for just about everything. But this day can recognize getting rid of old stuff that no longer serve you.

It is widely believed that if your surroundings are cluttered, you will not be as productive. It has an impact on your psyche which means if you unclutter your space you will also unclutter your mind. When you open your mind, your thoughts and ideas will flow more smoothly. This is one of the major ways keeping your environment clutter free will lead you to be more productive.

I have found that when my space is overly crowded, it creates frustration and stress. I often get torn with dilemma of keeping or throwing away as well as where I will put my ‘stuff’ so I don’t forget about it. As a visual person, I need to see things in front of me so this last point adds to my stress.

Why is it so difficult to unclutter? Why do people collect and hoard things? There are psychological blocks that keep someone in this state. It tends to having either an emotional attachment to an item or another fear, such as ‘what if I need the item later?’ or ‘when I lose weight, I’ll be able to fit into those jeans again.’ But how long do those items stay on the shelf?

After doing a deep purge last year, here are some tips to help get rid of old stuff and live more peacefully:

take inventory – you have to know what you’re dealing with. Having a checklist or some type of listing will let you know what you have used frequently and what you haven’t. This action can be the start of letting go.

2 Put items into categories – used/keep; not used/discard; on the fence/maybe pile (to go through again later); donate. This is an eye-opener on what you have been using or, more importantly, what you haven’t been. I found this a good exercise to let go.

For items that you are on the fence about or feel some anxiety of discarding, sit in the space and identify what the thought is for you; is there a sentiment attached to it, perhaps given to you by someone meaningful, does it bring back a happy time, and the like. Identifying the thoughts behind our emotions helps us to begin to find solutions to turn them around.
Do it quickly – it’s amazing when pressure is given to see how fast we move. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is not to think and just do before any intrusive thoughts occur. Set a time for 10 minutes to start and see what you can remove from your life. If there is an emotional attachment, you will know but, most likely, you will have them sitting in the discard or donate pile.
Remove the mental chatter and replace with positive self-talk – when a negative thought arises, stop right away, before it fully emerges and then replace with 3 positive ones; use self-talk to affirm that you are going to be okay and how much better you will feel when you are in a calmer environment. Applaud yourself for these actions and revel in accomplishment.

I remember when I was in a major purge when selling my house, which had to happen quickly, They buyer wanted to move up the date which, at the time I agreed, seemed easy to do; however, people who were to help me move were unable to come through so I essentially had to do all the moving myself. The step on taking quick action really was impactful as things went. But, how freeing it was once they were gone, which I don’t miss. In looking back, I am amazed at how long I held on to certain items which I realize were stifling for me.

You will reduce your stress levels when you create an uncluttered environment. You will be able to find things faster which gives you the time to work on important items. Even if not for work, you will have more time to spend with your friends and family. Take time each day to get rid of one thing – you will be amazed at how peaceful your life will be.

Mindset matters, so if you’re feeling stuck in your business or life, contact us to moving forward.

February 19, 2020

Being Affected by Coworkers Emotions? 3 Tips to Shut Them Down (nicely)

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Do you deal with a coworker who affects you emotionally? These are individuals who:

are chronically late to work or on projects (and not with good reasons)
don’t contribute to the team
don’t seem to comprehend the goal or processes and need constant direction
likewise, those who are eternal question-askers
are chronic complainers (and never offer a solution)
bark orders but never offer to pitch in
who seem to always be in a crises

I’m sure there are many others but these are some of the top reasons why clients come to me. They don’t know how to deal with these types of behaviors which leaves them feeling resentful, angry, or anxious. They often find themselves not wanting to go to work to avoid these individuals.

I find that high-performers are affected more by these bad behaviors; you know these individuals who show up (or early) and get the work done happily; they are the solution-focused who aren’t willing to settle for the status-quo. These individuals have little tolerance for others who aren’t showing up each day to get the work done (and rightfully so).

When taking a job, there is an expectation that work is the focus in order to serve customers who keep the business successful. However, in the day-to-day drudgery this seems to get lost and people get in their silos of just doing the job, forgetting the purpose of them being there. These individuals are at risk for finding the negatives in their role and becoming unhappy and disengaged. The result? The above behaviors.

Being affected by other’s emotions can become toxic for many over time, especially those who are empathetic in nature. Empaths tend to be givers and helpers and are great at trying to understand other’s viewpoints and actions. But these individuals can also take on others’ emotions, which neuroscience shows happens. This leaves them vulnerable to be emotionally affected in some way.

Take, for instance, being around a chronic complainer; an empath will feel this negativity more deeply and feel frustrated that they can’t help, or that their suggestions go unrecognized. Chronic complainers don’t want a solution – they want change but in their way. An empath will be unsure of how to proceed, leaving them frustrated and anxious to avoid the complainer; many begin to hate their jobs.

If this sounds familiar, here are 3 quick tips to reconnect with your job so you aren’t affected emotionally:

1. Stay in your own lane: focus only on your work-goals and outcomes you aim to achieve. Find the pleasures in the work you, tying them to your skills and talents, which leads to more confidence and satisfaction. You won’t have time to worry about what others are doing, or not doing, which stops any negativity you may experience.

2. Use empathy: Strive to hear what’s behind a behavior, as there is always some emotion there; this puts the responsibility on the person and not on you to help them solve their problem or take on their negative emotion. These individuals may be dealing with hard times in their personal life that spill over into the workplace. Also, be assertive and ask them to stop and take their complaining elsewhere.

3. Practice self-care: focus on your own happiness in the work you do, as it this takes the focus off of the other person and puts it where it needs to be – you. Take deep breaths; remove yourself by taking a break and go outside; refocus on your own work tasks and your satisfactions in the job. When you focus on you and your needs, you won’t worry about others and they won’t affect you.

Other’s behaviors will only impact you if you allow them to. If anything, see yourself as having an invisible shield that you put up when around these types of behaviors that can’t be penetrated. You’ll be much happier doing so.

If you’re ready to rev-up your success factor, contact today for a free discovery/strategy session to learn how.

February 13, 2020

Do You Suffer From Imposter Syndrome?

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A rather disturbing trend I’m seeing with clients lately is that of imposter syndrome. If you’re not familiar with the term, it essentially means that one feels as if they are a fake or are just skating through, and they constantly worry that they will be ‘found out.’ More formally, it is self-doubt about one’s accomplishments and worry of being exposed as a fraud.

Low or lack of self-esteem is at the root of this syndrome. When one does not feel good about themselves, they will attach this negative view to their skills, abilities, and achievements despite being proficient in them, such as an individual who is promoted to a supervisor role but doesn’t feel they should have the job or are being effective. This could lead them to hide in the background, allowing their peers to take more of a leader role, or to be hesitant when making decisions.

Imposter syndrome is a form of self-sabotage where one does not feel they deserve to have the things they want, either never going after them or, once having them, do something to mess it up (i.e. continually late for work, don’t finish projects, etc.). These negative feelings only lead to more negativity, along with stress and anxiety and a host of physical and emotional problems if left unattended.

Here are three quick tips to help you stop this cycle so you can live more authentically and successfully:

1. Be self-aware – the only way to create new habits (which is what you will be doing) is to be aware of your thoughts, feelings, actions, etc. Pay attention to your thoughts and body sensations when you start to have a negative thought about yourself or you have a physical feeling, such as a tightness in your chest of stomach, jittery, neck or back pain, and the like. This is when you want to…..

2. STOP – when you are aware of your thoughts and feelings,you can then slow them down so they don’t get out of control. Taking deep breaths is a great way to gain control over your head and body so you can now think more clearly. Deep breathing is a great brain refresher, also, which helps with focus and attention.

3. Own your ‘stuff’ – you must begin to recognize your greatness; write down daily any compliments you hear, actions people take, i.e. holding the door open for you or letting you into traffic, as people recognize you; also write down any actions you take towards others as well as any accomplishments you have during the day – no matter if big or small. This helps with self-esteem and self-belief, both of which lead to being confident in all areas of your life.

By creating new positive habits, the imposter mask will fall off and you will be able to stand fully in your authenticity and do your best work. You will feel confident in taking advantage of opportunities and be present with others. Using the above techniques daily will help you to be your own champion and stand fully in your excellence.

If you want to stop the struggle and get clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – contact me today to get started.

January 24, 2020

The Root Cause of Not Putting Yourself Out There and How to Break Free

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I was in a Facebook group the other day and was quite surprised at answers that were given to a question, which related to marketing activities. Not only were there many similarities but what was surprising was how many had the same response, which related to not putting themselves out there to market themselves.

This is a common issue, one which I will admit I have struggled with myself. The worry about being visible and being a thought-leader scares many, both small business owners and those who work in an organization. This worry transcends across all genders and ages. If not caught early, the results can be detrimental to success.

Why does this occur and can anything be done to stop or reverse it? It really comes down to thoughts and emotions and imprinting that was done at an early age. Getting to the root cause will be easier to challenge the thoughts and stop the cycle. Irrational fears result from those early experiences.

If you think back to a time, say when you were six, and you got yelled at by a teacher or parent it may lead to worry about getting yelled at for other experiences. If you were compared to your sibling or classmates (the nuns in my grade school were good for this one), then your thoughts may turn to not being pretty enough.

The more we hold on to these thoughts, as if we’re replaying a movie, the more embedded they become in our unconscious mind waiting there to arise in the most inopportune times, such as when you are going to ask the boss for a raise or promotion. Our unconscious mind really controls our thoughts and resulting actions, as that is where 98% of those unconscious thoughts live.

The key to breaking free is to identify those thoughts and experiences you’ve lived through. They were in the past so it becomes about leaving them there or putting them in a place you can put them, i.e. think of a box. Mark Waldman, a neuroscience expert, says that you can write down all your worries, concerns, problems, etc. but not to hide them as the brain will worry about them.

When we allow these negative thoughts and events to have life, they become bigger than we want and ultimately result in holding back from new experiences to avoid what occurred in the past. As you don’t know if any event will occur with absolute certainty, you are wasting a lot of time worrying about something you don’t know versus going forward on what you do want.

Say you want to ask for a promotion, you don’t know if the boss will say no; but, even if he does, it could open up the door to discussing future opportunities. Perhaps there is no budget for a new position or no opening; however, he could find a project to work on that would provide opportunity to enhance your skills and raise your profile for when an opening becomes available. It can feel like you’re up against a brick wall, with no way over or through.

The key to breaking free from these blockages is to release them. Identify the source, challenge any thoughts around them, then replace them with positive ones. I find this practice very helpful when I get blocked and know they work. It will take practice to get out this negative pattern but, with consistency and a positive mindset you will get there. Is today the day you decide to release your blocks?

If you want to stop the struggle and get clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – contact me today to get started.

January 20, 2020

Routines and Discipline Are the Key to Get the Results You Want

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Several years ago, a former business client of mine had been very frustrated that her online business was not going the way she had wanted. When she sought out my services, she reported that she felt confused as to why her business was not going the way she wanted it to; she had some clients but found that her customers were not consistent in their spending and buying habits. She wanted to gain more revenue and expand her online services.

However, as we assessed her business framework, it became apparent that a big part of the inconsistent results she was finding was due to her lack of self-discipline as a business owner. While she wanted her business to grow, her activities were lacking, meaning that she did not have her own personal “system” in place that would keep her focused and motivated to build her business. See if these “mistakes” you are guilty of and the solutions to get you on the right track:

No Written Focus – this can be your mission statement or the “why” of your business. While my client had great ideas for her business, she did not have many of them written down. Without a mission focus, you won’t know how or where you want your business to go. You will be aiming but not towards anything specific and it will take you twice as long to grow.
No Written Plan – without a written plan for your business, you are doomed to fail. The business plan is your road-map that lays out all parts of your business and how you plan to market your services.
No Systems – everything you do is a system; how you gain leads to how you close the sale to how you develop your programs and services. Knowing the steps you take in each area of your business will save you time and money as you take the same steps with each client. A system also shows your clients that you are customer-service focused and a valid business entity.
No Personal Discipline – having all of the above is effective for your business but if you don’t take it seriously, you will see slow or poor results and become frustrated and disillusioned. Self-discipline behaviors include: waking at the same time in the morning; having clear daily task lists and staying focused until they are completed; setting financial goals and balancing the books; setting daily, weekly and monthly goals for the number of clients you want/need to contact and your results; not checking emails or iPhone until the most important tasks are done; taking rest breaks to ensure you are refreshed and recharged to do your best work.
No Commitment – like my client, you might have the best intentions and are taking action but your efforts are rather noncommital. It’s like you are “half-in/half-out”, as some days you are full-on while at others times you feel ambivalent and willing to take the status-quo. Being committed means that you fully believe in what you do and are willing to do what it takes.

Once my client recognized these negatives, she was willing and able to correct and overcome them. We refined a new vision and mission for her business and wrote a simple plan that consisted of clear goals and activities that would help her accomplish them. She recommitted to her business with renewed passion and excitement and mapped out how she was going to spend her days. There was no ambivalence or questioning where her business was going. A year later, she is doing well and her life and business are thriving; she developed the discipline habits that made it happen. You can, too!

Your Weekly Action Plan

Begin this week to assess your commitment and self-discipline for all areas of your life, such as your business, your career, your finances, your eating or exercise habits, and your mindset. See where you can commit to improve and implement at least one positive step. Write those down and focus on them daily. Monitor your progress at the end of each day and reaffirm your commitment.

I hope you have a successful week – If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, or in developing your action plan, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started. I’d love to help you build the career and business of your dreams!