What Goals Are and What They Are Not

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What Goals Are and What They Are Not

Here we are, winding down another month, ready to leap into a new one. This means it’s time to set new goals for yourself, in all areas, i.e. personal, professional ,career, financial, etc. But why do some people struggle with setting them, despite having the intent?

Perhaps it’s due to the label of goal and what this truly means. Perhaps the following can help give you more clarity so you can go about setting goals, that are meaningful, achievable, and motivate you to reach them.

So, what is a goal and why do we need them? A goal is an end result or objective you want or need to accomplish. Goals, which can be both long- and short-term, provide direction and motivation to help you achieve a desired outcome. To help you understand this concept more, let’s go over what goals are and what they are not.

Goals Are the Things You Want To and/or Need To Achieve

Goals are specific, measurable, and time-sensitive objectives designed to help you measure progress and stay on track toward achieving your desired outcome.

For example, a goal like this:

“I will lose 10 pounds in three months by exercising five days per week and cutting back on sweets, sodas, and processed foods…”

…is a well-thought-out goal.

It describes what the goal is: Lose 10 lbs. It explains how you will go about it and has a realistic time frame. You can use that information to design your action plan.

Goals Are the Results You Want to Achieve  

As mentioned above, a well-crafted goal describes the end result or outcome you are working towards.

Here is another example: “I will start a ghostwriting business for people who want to make money selling clean romance novels on Amazon Kindle.”

You will create smaller goals from this first goal, such as building a website where potential customers will learn more about your services and find contact information.

From there, you will need a goal for creating content that highlights your talents and outlines the benefits of collaborating with you.

Then, the next goal will be setting up marketing campaigns to reach out to romance authors needing assistance with their writing projects.

All these steps lead to one end goal: establishing a successful ghostwriting business.

Goals Are Time-Sensitive

A goal requires time sensitivity because that time limit creates a sense of urgency and motivates you to complete it. When setting a goal, it’s vital to have an end date that gives you a realistic timeline for completing the task.

Being realistic here is critical as it helps keep you focused and on track regarding reaching your objectives without frustration. Plus, a time limit gives you greater insight into how much effort is needed to reach your goal within the set timeline.

Goals Help Measure Progress

Goals provide a clear target to work towards and to track progress toward achieving them. They measure progress because they provide a tangible tracking mechanism, so you know how close you are to achieving the desired end result.

You use goals to set shorter-term milestones that allow you to monitor your progress and help you stay motivated and focused on the bigger picture. Concrete goals will enable you to evaluate yourself objectively and make adjustments when necessary.

Goals Need to Be Both Large and Small

Goals range from long-term objectives, such as purchasing a house or starting a business, to short-term goals, like saving for a vacation or learning a new skill.

Setting big and small goals is beneficial because it helps create a sense of balance. Big goals provide the long-term motivation and direction you need, while small goals give you short-term objectives to reach along the way.

What Goals Are Not

Goals are not the steps, processes, or actions you take to achieve the goal.

These steps are the means to an end and are separate from the goal itself. Goals are the desired end result of a particular activity or endeavor. They set the benchmark for success and provide guidance and motivation to reach that end.

Remember, goals are not the actions you take to achieve them. Setting clear and measurable goals helps you focus your efforts and progress toward achieving your desired outcome.
Focus on the end-result to drive your goal further; vision it daily to achieve it.

 

If you’re struggling with setting and reaching goals, reach out to learn how we can help You don’t have to do it alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

& Practices to Cultivate Optimism Each Day

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7 Practices to Cultivate Optimism Each Day

You might be surprised to hear that optimism is not an innate quality. Optimism and pessimism are ways of looking at yourself and the world through a positive or negative filter.  Once you think of them as reflections of your mindset, it becomes much easier to believe you can change. Like any new behavior, you need to practice every day for it to become a habit. Try these six suggestions to cultivate your optimism every day.

  1. Keep a journal

Journaling or keeping a diary allows you to process events and to get a different perspective on them. It encourages self-reflection and captures insights into your thinking and behavior. You can write down what happened during your day and document, not just the bald facts but how you did it, what you did to make it happen and what you did right. And, importantly, how it felt while you were doing it. Don’t just record the good things (a promotion, a presentation or meeting that went well), remember to write down the thing that didn’t go so well and reflect on what happened, how you dealt with it, and what you might do differently next time.

  1. Laugh

Consciously notice the funny side of things and write them down. If the technology didn’t work, and you had to give the presentation without the slide deck, or the power went out, or there was a fire drill in the middle of your crucial meeting. What can seem like a disaster at the time can also be looked back on as a comedy of errors. On your break, watch a funny video or ones of animals – release the dopamine.

  1. Write to your future

Write a letter or a journal entry that sets out the future you want. What job are you doing? Are you running your own business? What have you learned? What has changed? Imagining how your future life looks and feels can be a powerful motivator.

  1. Keep a kindness list

Have a page in your journal where you note down kind gestures. Write down when you are kind to someone, or when someone is kind to you. Even little things count, like opening a door for someone or letting them go first in the line for coffee. You’ll be surprised at how quickly they mount up, and your ever-lengthening list will give you a different perspective on things.

  1. Say thank you

Write a letter or email, phone or visit someone (a person outside your family) who has been genuinely kind to you. Tell them how much you appreciate what they did or said and how it has affected your life. Be sure to acknowledge and appreciate those in your inner circle, as well as others.

  1. Choose positivity

Make the positive choice to develop and maintain an optimistic outlook. Do this every morning when you wake up. Decide that today is going to be a great day. Everyone will have some level of suffering in their life. Choosing to be optimistic will make it easier to bounce back from the bad times and to enjoy and be certain of the good times.

  1. Practice Gratitude Daily

Each morning and night, say at least 3 things you are grateful for; doing so in the morning will prime your brain to start the day well, while at night will help you to sleep better. Don’t repeat the same things over and over; sure, you can be grateful for the bed you slept on but take it a step further and thank the person who made or delivered the bed. As the saying goes, gratitude changes the attitude and least to more optimism.

Being optimistic will enhance your life in a positive way, while helping you to deal with adverse events more easily. Begin practicing these steps daily, making them part of your routine, and watch how you life changes. Remember, you do get the choice as to how you see that life.

 

If you are struggling with negativity or want to make improvements in your life, reach out to learn more. You don’t have to struggle or do it alone….

 

 

 

 

4 Steps to Controlling Your Anger Triggers

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4 Steps to Controlling Your Anger Triggers

Do you ever find yourself feeling irritated, frustrated, ticked off, or downright angry? We all do at one or another. Knowing your anger triggers for what sets you off will go a long way to controlling them before they spiral out of control.

Everyone has their own little quirks, usually these go to expectations for how we would like people to act or respond, as well as how we would like situations to play out. Triggers are what set you off to feeling a state of anger; these depend on who is involved and how high the stakes are.

You could probably list your own triggers right now—little stuff, such as clutter or having to wait around. Maybe you can’t stand a particular word or phrase, or you find it impossible to work if there’s noise.

The thing about triggers is that they’re often small things that tip you over the edge and, before you know it, you’ve lost your temper over something that in the scheme of things doesn’t really matter. Over time, without resolution of an earlier situation, the anger lead to explosive outbursts that can be damaging in thoughts and words.

Getting a handle on your anger will help you, and your relationships with others, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Here are four steps you can take to manage your anger triggers better:

  1. Take control

The first thing is to realize that you are totally in control of how you react. Work out what your triggers are, and you can take your power back. You can anticipate and plan for situations where you know you’re likely to blow your top.

  1. Learn to read your body

Be conscious of how your anger manifests in your body. Likely your heart rate will go up, or your hands and jaw will clench. You might feel breathless or even get a stomachache, headache or back pain.

Tune into what your body is telling you, and you’ll learn to be able to stop the process of reacting. And remember the feelings themselves aren’t ‘bad’ but how you choose to respond to those feelings can be harmful, even destructive.

Instead of sweeping the papers off your desk onto the floor, or yelling, take a deep breath or go for a walk. Feeling triggered is often a result of low blood sugar, fatigue, or dehydration. Taking care of your physical needs can help you manage your emotional needs as well and make you more resilient to stresses and triggers.

  1. Identify what triggered you

Once you can interrupt the trigger response, you can start to work out what it was that set it off in the first place. Did you feel disrespected? Unheard? Were you mistreated or misunderstood? If someone pushed in front of you in the coffee line, what did that signal to you? That your needs aren’t important?

What about if someone talks over you or interrupts in a meeting? As well as being rude, you could feel sidelined, humiliated even. Triggers relate to our emotions, particularly negative ones so once you identify exactly what the emotion is, you can then find ways to get what you really want, i.e. from disrespect to respect etc.

 

  1. Choose your plan of action

Whatever your triggers might be, it’s totally up to you how you react. You can anticipate how you might feel and what you might do or say in response. Take a deep breath, detach from the situation, and focus on how you want to feel. You can choose to stay calm in triggering situations – it’s up to you. Scripting the situation, where you are ‘directing’ the scene will give you a different perspective and allow you to see how the action plan will play out; you won’t know what the other person(s) will do but it will give you more confidence to deal with that situation.

 

Anger is a natural state which really goes with being hurt by something that either someone did or did not do, or a scene did not play out the way we wanted it to.

Additionally, being in stress and overwhelm can lead to a form of anger and lashing out so, the more that you are aware of your triggers, the more you can educe these incidents from happening while being more in control of your thoughts and emotions.

It may take some time, but you can create a new habit with consistency. One last point – take deep breaths when your trigger arises to relax your brain and body.

 

Reach out if your find your having angry outburst or feel in overwhelm due to stress and anxiety; learn how we can help you develop relaxation and coping tools and strategies to get you more in control of your life.

 

Mood Enhancer: The Power of Essential Oils

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You’re probably aware of your favorite smells. After all, the smell is one of your most powerful and evocative senses; scents go into the deepest part of our brain so we can use this to elevate our mood, such as when we feel stressed or sad.

 

Scents can bring back memories of good times, such as s trip to the beach or remembering Mom’s apple pie. But smells can, also, be therapeutic.

 

Aromatherapy, the therapeutic use of scents, has been used for thousands of years.  Physicians in Persia, China, India, and Egypt, extracted and blended aromatic plant extracts in balms, perfumes, and oils for medical and religious purposes.

 

Today, around the world, people use aromatherapy as a gentle but effective way of reducing stress and anxiety, treating headaches, improving sleep and soothing aches and pains.

 

Aromatherapy uses the distilled essence of plants, like essential oils. You’ve probably seen them in your supermarket or health food store, or online. The most popular methods of using essential oils are in:

 

  • diffusers
  • bath oils or salts
  • creams or lotions
  • steamers
  • Roll-ons

Essential oils can be used by themselves or in combination to quickly lift your mood or change the atmosphere in your home. Here are some of the most popular:

 

  1. Lavender

Lavender is calming, balancing; sedative promotes a sense of relaxation and well-being. It is suitable for stress relief and to combat the symptoms of colds, flu, and migraine.

 

  1. Chamomile

Chamomile is soothing and calming and will lift your mood. A great addition to a warm bath to help you relax and promote sleep.

 

  1. Orange, Bergamot, Grapefruit, and Lemon

All the citrus oils are perfect for lifting your mood. Especially recommended is Bergamot for general malaise and low mood. Orange oil promotes positivity and lemon boots energy. Grapefruit oil makes you more alert and stimulates the brain.

 

  1. Rosemary

Rosemary oil is excellent for clearing a foggy mind and also acts as an anti-depressant.

 

  1. Rose

Rose oil is especially recommended to help with depression, anxiety, and stress.

 

  1. Marjoram

Marjoram oil aids in anxiety, stress relief, and combats fatigue and depression and calms hyperactivity.

 

Here are some suggested blends to try in the diffuser to instantly up your mood.

 

Relax

  • Three drops Lavender
  • Three drops Bergamot

 

Release anxiety

  • Four drops Lavender
  • Two drops Lemon
  • Two drops Ylang Ylang

 

Calming

  • Four drops Lavender
  • Three drops Chamomile

 

Energizing

  • Three drops Grapefruit
  • Two drops Peppermint
  • One drop Spearmint

 

My personal preference is actually Vick’s VapoRub, as it has chamomile and eucalyptus in it, which are relaxers, but it also can help with pain such as a tension headache or neck pain.

 

If you don’t have any essential oils – which are most effective – you can burn candles with the same scents. If at work, you can keep a candle (unlit) on your desk or a bottle of an essential oil. There are roll-ons in scents to dab on your wrist.

 

There are more holistic ways to get calmer by utilizing your senses to do so – the suggestions above are just one way, but effective and powerful.

 

Learning to manage your stress will lead to a calmer and more relaxed state of being. We have tools and techniques on our blog – check it out.

 

 

5 Stress Hacks You Didn’t Know About That Can

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Everyone feels stressed sometimes. Maybe you had a rough day at work, or you’re going through some financial difficulties due to circumstances outside of your control. Stress can negatively impact your mental health, as well as your physical health.

If you’re having a hard time coping with stress in your life right now, we’ve got you covered. In this article, we’ve compiled 5 helpful stress hacks you probably didn’t know about!

1.    Do Tense and Release Exercises

Stress tends to manifest in certain areas of your body, especially your neck and shoulders. You might not be aware of it, but you’re probably carrying a whole lot of tension in these parts of your body. We tend to hold our emotions in under stress, either trying not to address it or not wanting to upset someone else – this constricts the red blood cells and the muscles so you feel ‘achy.’

Thankfully, a quick 15-minute tense-and-release exercise can help you loosen up and relax a bit. Starting with your toes (or you can start with your hands) and working your way up to your neck and face, tense and release your muscles, really focusing on the relaxation you feel. Once practiced, it will be like Pavlov’s dog, where you muscle-memory will kick in and relaxation will be automatic. It’s a an easy routine to establish.

2.    Go For Plenty of Walks

This is great advice for those who get stressed out at work from having to sit so much. Walking not only relieves stress and clears your head, but it has also been proven to improve sleep and inspire creative ideas. If you don’t have time to walk for thirty minutes or an hour, try taking three 10-minute walks throughout your work day. This is a great way, also, to take a brain break to increase your productivity.

3.    Listen to Music

The power of music is pretty amazing, as it engages our whole brain. Listening to calming music is a fantastic stress reliever, and it can even put you in a better mood. Lo-fi music has actually been proven to help people focus more efficiently on their work, especially those who suffer from mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and ADHD. You can listen to Pharrell’s song, Happy, as a great mood-lifter, along with dancing or movement.

4.    Focus on Your Breathing

You might have heard this one before, but that’s only because it’s such helpful advice! Our breathing patterns tend to change drastically when we’re excited, stressed, or scared. Focusing on your breathing and doing so, in a calm way, can promote relaxation. Listen to the sound of your breath, with your eyes closed, to relax your brain and body, along with boosting your energy. This is a great exercise to try when you’re sitting at your work desk.

5.    Start Journaling

Even if you haven’t kept a journal since junior high school, you can always get back into it! Recording your thoughts and keeping track of your feelings is a great way to relieve stress. Write about your day in your journal each night when you get home from work. That way, anything stressful that might have happened during the day is out of your mind and on the page. You can also set your goals and recognize accomplishments, or gratitudes, which can relax any stress you may feel in the moment.

Coaching Tip:

Managing stress is not easy, as it is an automatic response but, with time and effort, you can master these stress management tips, You will, then, be able to handle any stressors that you face with more ease and live a calmer, less chaotic life.

 

 

If you’re struggling with stress, don’t delay in getting help as it can overtake your life and lead to emotional and physical symptoms. Visit our website to learn about our programs and services. Mastering these can start today!