Do you remember the letter I wrote to myself? Well, I’ve come to realize that I have really struggled in my career, both in corporate jobs as well as in my own business, and a big reason is that I’ve always tried to fit in when I should have been ok with standing out. When I compared myself to others and thought, ‘wow, look at what they’re doing – I want to do them;’ or when I stopped doing what I wanted or knew was the ‘right thing’ because someone else didn’t approve, I really held myself back.
How many time has that happened to you? Have these times ever made you feel less than but yet you did what these others wanted? I have for sure; in my previous jobs I was in management so it is a big challenge to go against the grain (you may find this, too). But I now know there could have been ways I could have had my way while satisfying my upline. In your career or business, you may have the urge to go along with others so as not to stand out but you would be doing yourself a disservice.
Standing out is the only option if you want to be successful (considering success is personal to each of us). When you become a ‘sheeple’ you become just like everyone else and it is harder to get promotions or more challenging work, or customers for your business. Standing out among the crowd can be a bit difficult but not impossible. I think it’s everything.
Begin by asking yourself – from an outsider’s perspective – what makes you unique or special? What qualities attracts people to me that I can build off of? What feels authentic to me in my work or business? The answers to these questions will help you identify your unique selling propositions (USP) that you can now use in your daily work and, actually, your life. Start today to evaluate so you can uncover your USP and stand out in all ways.
Enough said….
In light of recent events, not only here those in Louisiana and Dallas, this is all I’ve got today; hope this brings you peace to spread to others – we need it:
“If I want to live in a peaceful world, then it is up to me to make sure that I am a peaceful person. No matter how I behave, I keep peace in my heart. I declare peace in the midst of chaos or madness. I surround all difficult situations with peace and love.” (Louise Hay)
The New Trend Coming in the Job Market
I read some startling statistics yesterday that by the year 2020, it is predicted that more than half of the U.S. workforce will be working in what is being called the “YouEconomy”(Zane Pilzer, 2016). This is the term for those who are taking ‘gig’s through freelancing sites, several part-time jobs, contracting and the like. For some, this type of work is a supplement to their current job (I am in this category), with 71% earning supplemental income.
The reason this is catching on? I see it for several reasons:
- People are still having difficulty in the workplace so they see this as an option to make more money, as well as to test out ideas to start their own
- People want more variety in their work and having several ‘gigs’ can provide that, as well as gaining new-found skills
- People want more freedom and control over their career – some are no longer satisfied with the 8-5 grind, or taking directions from others
- The criteria that some organizations and industries have for hiring workers is elusive to some, whether they are having to go back to get more education (but need experience) or they neither have the desire or the money to fund such education
- Companies are predicted to move to short-term and contracted assignments
There can be more possible reasons but this trend is starting to take a hold; in fact, 33% of U.S. adults have earned income this way over the last twelve months (Success Magazine, 2016). Some ways people are finding work:
- independent contracting
- diversified work
- moonlighting
- temporary work
- micro-entrepreneurs (virtual)
It is much easier than ever to find work, with sites such as: Upwork, freelance, guru, Fiverr where you can find work as well as post your services. Selling on ebay or Amazon, or others like etsy can trade your skills and wares for a fee. Another site is Flexjobs, where you can search for work-at-home and part-time opportunities. If you’ve ever had the notion, this would be the time to start researching your possibilities and jump on the bandwagon to get started. See you on the other side!
An Exercise for Self-Validation and Self-Worth
I just finished an exercise, as homework in a coaching program I’m in, and I must say it was life-changing. I am not sure why this exercise at this particular time was so effective – as I’ve done them before- but it was. Right now as I’m writing this I feel freer, happier and more focused.
The simple exercise I was homework’d with is to write yourself a letter. Easy, yes? Not so fast. The purpose is to write this as if your ‘other self’ is speaking to you about your life: your past, your present and your future; your past mistakes and how you dealt or overcame them; significant events or people who made an impact on you; your struggles and challenges; your successes. Literally, you can write what and however you want. No one is judging this (although mine was viewed by others in the program – scary) so you can talk to yourself as you will. For example, I was encouraging while pulling no punches or letting issues slide.
This type of exercise is effective as it allows you to go deep into your buried thoughts to bring those out; those that are lurking near the surface can now make sense. Those past hurts can be forgiven and put into a place we can now live with, and we can create the future we want with some safety. Through writing, which engages both sides of the brain, bringing out highlights in our life affirms and validates those experiences, particularly the positive ones. Self-esteem goes up from reading of these accomplishments so that now we want to continue to take action and move forward on goals we want to achieve. We’re not afraid to think big or take big steps to make our life as we envisioned it on the paper.
If you want to self-validate and raise your self-esteem, then I encourage you to start writing that letter to yourself; you may want to mediate a bit before, or sit in silence, as it will give you calm and the words to fly through your fingers. This is where rubber meets the road. You will feel some emotions that will feel uncomfortable but you get to write the ending – isn’t that great?
How do You React to Unplanned Change?
I was in church this morning, which is merging with another church; today was the first day the two were brought together. I used to attend both at one time but this came as a surprise. However, what should have been a holy experience was interrupted by a woman who sat in front of me, who was obviously very displeased. She kept shaking her head and making some snide comments that were loud enough to be heard.
What should have been an uplifting service was now – not. It made me think of both the how and why one reacts to unplanned change; heck, change in general. If things don’t turn out the way we anticipated, we either accept or not. Both, however, can lead to some anxiety and resistance.
When we anticipate the future, this can lead to worry about what that might look like. The fear center in our brain – the amygdala – activates and releases certain chemicals into our system. How we have responded to scary situations sets how we react when those situations threaten us in some way. Usually, these situational outcomes are created in our mind, although our responses become more automatic, especially if we have the same responses over time. So, the worry can also come out as anger, like the woman in church.
I don’t know if she didn’t like the distance she now has to drive, if she was upset that new members were coming in, or the new practices they implemented; I do know, however, that she was not happy and did not either care or realize that she let it show. Getting in our ‘rightness’ leads to resisting change of any type: our thoughts, our way. The question to ask is: if you would rather be right in your way or to be happier? The thought here is that you win so I lose but, in the grand scheme of things, no one is winning.
You can either wait and see, or go along with, the change or you can resist. You never know if the change may actually be enjoyable but when you think negative, you get negative and are not open. As we can never know an outcome, stop trying to control it. Be open enough to ‘go with the flow’ and wait it out; this will allow you time to make an informed decision for how you want to proceed from then on. Going back to the woman I spoke of earlier, she can either go to another church or she can give it time to see how things go. I prayed that she opens her heart enough to find out.
We all have the ability to assess how we respond to adverse situations and unplanned change; we also have the ability to learn to control how we view those situations and our responses. Go back and think of a time when you had an unplanned event and how you looked at it and how your responded; rate the magnitude of the event (finances, job loss, divorce, etc. all have high magnitudes), and then begin developing solutions to fall back on. Challenge and reframe your thoughts so you feel more in control. I pray that you open your heart enough to find out.
