Monday Success Tips: Feel Stuck? Use the Rule of 10-10-10

 

Ever feel stuck? When balancing work and life, keeping the focus on your newly set goals and desires – all the things you truly want – can be a bit frustrating in trying to keep them in your awareness and in being reachable.  It seems that we get programmed to think more on what we don’t want and we use language that speaks to this:

 

“I don’t want to have to struggle paying my bills each month”

“I want a new job but no one is hiring right now”

“I don’t like how I feel – I’ll start working out later”

 

Using words that are negative and detrimental to the psyche only will keep you down and doing the very things you don’t want to.  Here is a very easy exercise to get you out of the “muckies” and get you leaving them behind. If your situation(s) are truly frustrating you, then the answers should wake you up.

 

This is called the 10-10-10 Rule; think of your issue and the ‘pain level’ of not working on it, and ask yourself the following questions:

  1. If I don’t work on my current issue, will it make a difference in 10 minutes?
  2. If I don’t work on my current issue, will it make a difference in 10 months?
  3. If I don’t work on my current issue, will it make a difference in 10 years?

For example, if you are really unhappy in your job, and the pain level brings you sleepless nights, anxiety, anger, etc. asking these questions should help you to decide that even 10 more minutes of experiencing these symptoms is detrimental to your health and you will make the decision to look for a new job.  If you didn’t any action, do you want to be in the same place in 10 more months or 10 more years?

 

Hopefully, the answers will lead you to see that you need to make some big changes; looking at the ‘dark side’ of your situation will no longer be an option.  You now have the decision to do something about your life and the direction you want it to go.  10-10-10 is a simple but powerful tool to move you forward and get the end results you want in your life.

Your Weekly Action Plan

This week, list all the things you don’t want (job, finances, relationships, health, etc.) and assess them for importance; assign a number for the level of pain – how frustrated you are – to them.  Now, apply the 10-10-10 questions to see which one(s) pains you the most. Write out exactly what you DO want in clear terms and what steps you need to take to get it – put a date to start and to achieve.  When you feel tempted to give up because ‘it’s too hard,” keep the 10-10-10 questions in mind – they should help you remember the pain and spur you to keep taking action,

I hope you have a successful week – If you need help in your leadership role, or for your team,  why not get some help; stop the struggle and call today to get started. I’d love to help you get the confidence you need and create a culture your employees will love.

 

The Art of Being Thankful

 

Being thankful for all that we possess is essential to opening our hearts and minds, as it takes the focus off of all that we believe we don’t have and shows us that we do. This practice alone has been rated as the #2 way to raise happiness, for when we focus on our negatives we can’t ‘see’ any positives; and we will attract more negative in our lives.

 

You can blame your left brain for this; isn’t it time to get into the right where positivity and optimism live?

 

This is why gratitude and giving thanks is crucial. But it needs to be done consistently so it will become a good habit.

 

When we take the focus off of the negatives, and put it to seeing the positives, this is where the magic happens.

 

Being positive and optimistic creates good feelings to emerge and your focus will go towards now seeing only the good; the negatives won’t seem so catastrophic and you will do what it takes to handle them.

 

The Solution

One solution is  cheap and easy to do:  create a “Gratitude Jar.”

 

You might be asking, what this is and how will it lead me to being more positive; well, because we often tend to focus on the things we don’t want or don’t have in our lives we are actually attracting them.

 

This can lead to having a ‘victim’ mentality, as if life is unkind or throwing you lemons and not lemonade.

 

Creating a Gratitude Jar, that you fill daily, will show you that there is good in your life; you will now be more appreciative of them and work to keep them and/or improve upon them. Your brain chemicals will alter, leading to enhanced feelings of appreciation, happiness, and optimism.

 

It doesn’t matter if you use a jar, a box (my preferred method), a basket or other vessel to capture your thoughts.  The important thing is that you do.

 

To create your gratitude jar, here are some steps to begin – it is actually a fun activity (your kids might love this):

 

  1. Get a jar  and decorate it by using paints, markers, pictures or stickers.  Label it, either “My Gratitude Jar”, “My Daily Thanks” or “My Thankful Life” as suggestions.

 

  1. Have small slips of paper – I use post-it notes – and a marker; these are where you can write down your daily thanks.  It is important to remember to give thanks for all that you have, no matter how big or small; it could be as simple that you have life or that you ate the salad instead of that piece of cake.  The little things help to make you more aware of all good in your life. Be sure to also write down what you are thankful for about you – compliments you hear, strengths, skills, or natural abilities, or positive actions you take towards others – these will lead to increase self-love and confidence.

 

  1. Put these in a place that is accessible and visual to see; this will help to get you in the mode of filling the jar as well as enhancing your awareness of your great life.

 

The only other step is to commit to taking action on this and being consistent; I recommend writing at least three things daily or as you are more aware.  One thing that is in my box – I am thankful for all of you and feel blessed to have you as a part of my life.

 

 Action Plan

 

Make this week your official “Gratitude Week.”  Make your jar and begin filling it on a daily basis.  Pay it forward by passing the idea on to those in your circle so their lives are equally enhanced.  Be sure to pay attention to how your attitude and your life changes.

As a client of mine, who has been practicing her gratitude says: ‘Gratitude makes everything turn into a gift.”

I hope you have a successful week – If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, or in developing your action plan, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started. I’d love to help you build the career and business of your dreams!

 

How To be a Leader in Your Workplace: 5 Skills to Get You There

How to Be a Leader in Your Workplace: 5 Skills to Get You There

Many jobs require that employees be “team players.” You may hear that so often that it becomes meaningless. But it isn’t – being a team player is a fairly broad term, and it can include an important attribute that employers appreciate: leadership.

Being a leader in the workplace does not necessarily mean being a boss, manager, supervisor, or other “official” position, although it can mean that. Being a leader in the workplace can also mean setting a good example for others and/or heading up office programs and projects. Assuming the role of a leader might come easily for some people, while for others not so much.

 

I’m sure you’ve seen them (perhaps you’ve been one) – the employee who things seem to come to easily; you pick up skills quickly, achieve daily tasks timely, and people gravitate to them. These individuals are the ones who get promoted quickly or get more notice by upper management. What is it about them? Sometimes they naturally possess the right aptitude and skills but they also continually work on their own development, both personally and professionally.

 

Here are some tips and ideas that you can begin to work on, to follow the example of these high achievers, and how to be a leader in the workplace, so you get noticed and have more job satisfaction and engagement in the work you do:

 

  1. Be Confident

 

There’s a saying that can serve you well in the workplace: “Never let them see you sweat.” Of course, no one is perfect; but appearing confident inspires others to trust you and take your advice. One way to ensure that you appear self-assured is not to talk too much about your fears and concerns. Talk to friends outside of the workplace about your uncertainties. Identifying and owning your strengths and values will lead to self-belief and more confident. As simple as it sounds, walk with confidence – pull your shoulders back, or put your hands on your hips and see how much more empowered you feel.

 

See the Good in Others

 

Being able to see the good traits in others is a useful leadership trait in the workplace. If you need to put certain people in charge of certain tasks, it pays to know who will do well with what task. You also may see potential in a co-worker and “stretch” him or her by requesting a task that might be a bit challenging. This improves the overall skill set of the workforce, and helps build self-esteem in your co-workers. It also can lead to forming better relationships among team members so more gets done, which is something good leaders do.

 

Don’t Be Afraid to Delegate

 

There’s a difference between being a people person and being a people pleaser. Being a people person means you have a genuine love for people, but you’re not afraid to ask people to do things. Being a leader doesn’t mean just doing everything yourself; it means you are comfortable giving up some control and delegating tasks to others. Confident leaders aren’t afraid to let go and allow their staff to take over and lead.

 

Appreciate Co-Workers

 

No one wants to work for or with someone who doesn’t appreciate them. If you let everyone know you appreciate what they’ve done and how they’ve given their time and talents, it can go a long way. It’s always good to remember that there would be no leaders if there weren’t any followers. People who are appreciated may be more likely to follow your lead next time. Being recognized is something we all desire and leads to more satisfaction and overall happiness.

 

Problem Solving

 

If you step up with ideas on how to solve dilemmas, problems, and so forth, and have resourceful ideas about how to accomplish something, then speak up. Employers value the ability to think through a problem and find a creative solution. This is a valuable leadership quality as it shows you are part of a team and thinking of how to meet the needs of both customers and the organization overall.

 

These traits are highly desired by organizations as it puts the one who displays them in the high performing category, something which organizations invest in.

 

 

Your Attitude Counts More Than Your Aptitude

Your Attitude Counts More than Your Aptitude

A lot of people have tricked themselves into thinking that for them to make any kind of fundamental positive change in their lives, they have to learn certain things. For example, if you are struggling with finances and you don’t have a college degree, it’s very easy for you to say to yourself, “Well, the only way I can really get a leg up in my career is to get that four-year degree. Since I’m too old and I already have kids or you have a long laundry list of other reasons, you just basically say to yourself, “Well, I’m screwed. That’s not an option. The college degree is unattainable so here I am, I’m stuck forever.”

 

What you’re looking at is not reality. It’s your take on reality. Your thoughts are not real – they are your perceptions and interpretation of events that occur. Your analysis of reality is not reality itself and is really just a reflection of your attitude.

 

If you think that aptitude is the way forward to all of life, you’re wrong. In most cases, employers are more likely to take chances on people with the right attitude than the ones with all the qualifications. I have seen employers who struggle in wanting to hire the most ablest candidate but overlook their attitude and regret that decision later.

 

These people may seem perfect on paper but if their attitude is wrong, then it’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. I’m sure it’s possible after enough pushing but it’s not all that efficient. It may also be planting the seeds for future destruction. Most people would simply not do it.

 

This is why it really boils down to attitude. If you have the right attitude, don’t worry about not having the technical know-how. That will come. You will find a way. The key is do you believe in yourself enough to want to find the way?

 

If you think that everything has been closed off to you, and you are essentially just a very limited person because other people have it in for you and are conspiring against you, believe me, it doesn’t really matter what your aptitude is. You might even be the smartest person in the room but if you have that attitude of persecution and you feel that possibilities are always closed off, you will always remain stuck.

 

On the other hand, if you know that you don’t know certain things but you have the right attitude, you will make things happen. Maybe you would take night classes. Perhaps you would take online classes. Possibly, you would partner up with another person to get into some sort of semi-formal or informal apprenticeship. Even reading books, such as on leadership or mindset or a topic of interest, will raise your knowledge and skills. There are many ways to skin a cat, so to speak. It all boils down to your willingness to even try.

 

The problem with rigid or negative attitudes is that you basically end up robbing yourself of possibilities. You basically tell yourself, “Well, there’s only one way to achieve a certain outcome. Since that path is somehow some way off-limits to me, then this means I have no hope.” Who told you that’s the only way forward?

 

When you look at the careers of a lot of successful people on the planet, it turns out that a lot of them started out as janitors. A lot of them were illiterate. A lot of them were poor. A lot of them were immigrants with not even a penny to their name. Many were told that they would never make it but they did – look at the Wright Brothers, Benjamin Franklin or Wat Disney. Even J.K. Rowling was turned down by 12 publishers before the Harr Potter series – and conglomerate – were birthed.

 

Attitude counts more than aptitude. If you allow yourself to believe that you can achieve, then anxiety and constantly feeling that the best things in life have already been taken or that there all these barriers arrayed against you, things become wide open. You start seeing the possibilities. The opportunities become manifested and, before you know it, the way forward presents itself. You find yourself at the right place with the right people at the right time doing the right things.

 

Having an idea, going after it, and then never being deterred will lead to success – it all starts with having the right attitude. Begin, today, to turn yours to  positives – affirmations, mindfulness, and positive self-talk can get you on the right path, so start today!

 

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