Decision-Making: A Trap Some Business Owners Fall In

A trap I often see some business owners fall into involves  decision-making: particularly, making the wrong decision. “I want to expand my business but…” “I think this idea will work but I don’t know…..” I could go on with more reasons that I’ve seen business owners hold themselves – and their business- back.

Why is decision-making so hard for some people? Well, I see people not making a decision because:

  • they are worried they will fail
  • they worry about the response they may get (criticism, getting yelled at)
  • they don’t trust themselves enough
  • they don’t think they can live with the decision (even though they don’t know the outcome)

Do any of these sound familiar? I’ll admit I’ve wrestled with one or two of those so I know how real the struggle is. But, the good news is that it’s fully possible to move past any of these blocks, and be more confident in making decisions that are good for your business.

To go back, fears arise from our past experiences that may have started when we were younger, such as getting yelled at for something we did or didn’t do; depending on how we’ve perceived the situation, it will form a belief around that thought which then leads to our actions (or inactions).  The more we think those negative thoughts, the more entrenched those beliefs become which, then, hold us back in some way.

The fundamental fear we all have is the fear of not being good enough, which comes out as the fear of failure, the fear of being rejected, or even the fear of success.  When faced with making a decision, one of those fears will rise if we believe we will make the wrong one. This, then, starts the cycle of having a decision to make, which then elicits a fear, which then prevents making a decision, which then leads to frustration/anger at yourself and then the cycle repeats itself over and over.

So how can you move past any fears around decision-making and move into embracing the very things you say you want? How can you feel more confident when making a decision, so you won’t hesitate when faced with an issue? Here are some suggestions:

  • Begin by identifying fears you’re experiencing when faced with making a decision; look to see how you respond when faced with both big and small decisions. For instance, a small decision would include what tie to wear today, or what to eat for breakfast, while a big decision would be expanding on a service or creating a high-end program. You can rate your level of fear around these, which can help you to see progress you make and for which one(s) you will tackle first
  • Identify the outcome you believe is going to occur with the decision you want to make; as I said earlier, we often let a past event predict our future so what do you believe is going to happen: will someone yell at you, ignore you, criticize or laugh at you; also identify your response if one of these were to occur – shame, guilt, anger, etc. Once you’ve identified your beliefs, then…
  • Challenge those thoughts – how do you know that the outcome you worry about is going to happen with absolute certainty? As we are not mind-readers, challenging those thoughts disrupts the negative pattern so you can ‘see’ that the thought is maladaptive, an then ‘see” that whatever decision you make can have a positive outcome
  • List possible outcomes of the decision on a piece of paper, both positive and negative. This is a great exercise to do as, by identifying an negative outcomes, you can now see any potential ‘mistakes’ and come up with potential solutions for dealing with them if they do occur; it also validates your reasons for wanting to make the decision in the first place
  • Use your most powerful sense, your visual field, to imagine the best possible outcome. This activates dopamine, which elevates the mood and more positive thoughts and gives more mastery to actions you take. It also raises your confidence. Professional athletes use this in their training – as the football player is running down the field and catches the ball in the end zone, he has visualized and practiced it thousands of time: if it works for them, it will work for you (with consistency)
  • Fail – as counter-intuitive as this seems, we need to see that failure is not the end of the world. If you think about it, we all have failed in some way along our life journey but we have survived, even when we thought we couldn’t make it through. Going back and looking at times where things did not go well but that we overcame it helps to see that we will pull through. (I’d recommend doing the opposite and remember times when you did have success to validate your efforts). Also, earn from any failures so you won’t make the same mistakes in the future.

Leaders, of which small business owners are in this category, are faced with making hard choices to grow and sustain; don’t allow your fear around making them hold you back. Decision-making is one of the critical skills a leader needs to possess – you can get better at it so you can be more confident and successful in doing so. The steps above will help you get there.

Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting focuses on workplace happiness and organizational success. If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! https://www.cyscoaching.com or barbara@cyscoaching.com. For more great tips, visit our other blog at https://allaboutcareersites.com

 

 

If They Tell You No – Go Make Your Own

I love Cinderella stories; you know, the ones where an underdog makes it big in some way. Watching Dancing with the Stars last night, one of those emerged that I think those who own businesses, or want to, can take a lesson from.

The second runner-up was Lindsey Sterling,  a violin player who combines movement and dance in her act. What is really compelling is her story of how she became an ‘act.’ She said that she wanted to be a dancer but also liked to play the violin; her parents couldn’t pay for both so she stayed with the violin. But, as she got into her teen years, she fell into a depressive state and had an eating disorder; she gave up playing the violin.

But, once she got healthy, she picked it back up again and decided to add movement while playing. She auditioned for America’s Got Talent but was told she wasn’t good enough, and that her act would not attract people; a judge said her act was too ‘out there.’ She felt very discouraged.

However, she said that she remembered YouTube and decided to leap into making a video of her playing, which was quite a production, and gained over 200,000 views on her first one. Thus, a star was born. She puts on shows all over the world and now, Dancing with the Stars, which she almost won.

I think there are some lessons in here that we all can use:

  •  while life is not always kind, and there will be challenges, you can always pick yourself up and move on
  • people will criticize and reject you but it’s what you think that matters the most; Lindsey said that she had to learn to love herself first before she could love others, which included her violin
  • you can make lemonade out of lemons, just as Lindsey did; when she was told ‘no’ on the big stage, she went and created a video her way. She did not allow a rejection to keep her down
  • being true to who you are will attract people to you; Lindsey embraced her ‘quirkiness,’ of which millions of people find attractive, paying to buy here CD’s and attend her shows

I have to admit that I’ve never heard of Lindsey Sterling until recent weeks, as she was not on the radar for me as a dancer; but, the more time went on, the better she got and her performances were over the top. When she related her story, I became a fan.  Her story is inspiring and shows that following your own path can lead to greatness.

Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting focuses on workplace happiness and organizational success. If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! https://www.cyscoaching.com or barbara@cyscoaching.com. Visit our other blog at https://cysoaching .com or https://allaboutcareersites.com