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December 1, 2025

Self Motivation – A Short Guide to Goal Achievement

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Today is the beginning of a new month, and the final one before we start the new year. Hard to believe that 2026 is only four weeks away. What you may not realize is that this is a great time to finish your goals – you don’t have to put them away to start ‘fresh’ once the new year starts. Many think of resolutions when setting goals.

Unfortunately, research suggest that only 8-10% achieve those resolutions, with many abandoning their goals on what is known as ‘Quitters Day” or the second Friday of January, while 80% stop working on their goals by the second week of February. Those odds aren’t good.

So what stops people from not fulfilling the very aspects they want to improve upon?

First, using the word resolution, which means to resolve or not do something’ gives off a negative vibe which is not very motivating. Change the word to call it ‘intention,’ as this means you are committed to what you decide and with determination. That mindset alone will get you into action-mode and accomplishment.

Second, most people don’t know how to set goals or are not intentional with them. Starting with a strong determination will make the goal clearer and see what actions are needed to accomplish them.

You may have heard of SMART goals, which is one way to set goals: Specific, Measurable, Action-Oriented, Realistic, and Time-Limited. All are essential but specific and time-limited are the two most important of them; if you cannot state a goal in specifics, your brain can’t come up with the steps needed and they won’t be as motivating. Putting a time-limit on when you want to achieve the goal is what will give you the momentum and accountability as you are working the steps.

But what about motivation, or the drive behind one’s actions. Let’s say you’ve set clear and compelling goals and start working them, but you seem to have hit a wall and the goal doesn’t seem so important, leaving you wanting to do nothing, even the things you love to do. Then idleness starts to take its toll and you find yourself working the goal less and less.

As a result, a new pattern emerges of not acting which brings up guilt and shame, hence letting negativity cloud your mind and effort. This is called lack of motivation and, if this situation sounds familiar, then pay attention to the following points:

Assess your present situation

Why exactly are you feeling this way? What is lacking, both in what you want to achieve and your desire for it/them? Is this because of an isolated event or due to an accumulation of factors? Are there current circumstances that you have to focus on, while trying to make changes? Regardless of the situation, you should be sure that your situation is a manifestation of incongruence between reality and your own ideas. Your job is to identify the schism first, then develop small, attainable changes which will close the gap.

Never make goals

It probably caught you by surprise because everyone else seems to scream the words ”make goals”. Instead of making goals, make choices that will cumulatively reflect your values and also desires. Try making unrealistic goals which are not compatible with your lifestyle, nor reflective to your current resources or capabilities and failure will be raring its ugly head on you. Then it becomes a predictable outcome powered by an impractical wish.

If you want the incongruence that exists between reality and dreams to slowly fade, make daily choices that will bring about the wide paradigm shift. A more uplifting way to set goals is through the method of Everest Goals, where you start with the goal being achieved and then work backwards in how to achieve them; this method, based on those who actually climbed Mt. Everest, opens the brain up to finding solutions that will make your goals a reality.

Create room for the bad

We all have strengths and weaknesses and, sometimes, what we try to avoid ends up getting the best of us. Rather than being deceived on the idea of eliminating the bad instantly, focus on doing the good first before the bad can come last. What this means is to allow yourself space that your drive may ebb and wane at times which can take the pressure off of having to constantly achieve to prevent any guilty feelings that may arise. If one day you wind up eating that piece of cake, just determine to get back to the goal the next day.

Change is not easy and you may find resistance but, with a positive mindset and seeing the outcome of the goal, along with the benefits you will get by having that outcome, you can diminish and then overcome any resistance you may find and your motivation will return stronger than before.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”

(Steve Maraboli)

October 15, 2025

How To Turn Inner Peace Into a Habit

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Does this sound familiar? You feel at a point where your life is embattled with chaos, both externally and internally. You’re overrun with negative emotions, busy overthinking as you try to juggle your hectic schedule and all the other stress life has landed on your doorstep. The current events taking place, all over the world, seem to have a negative effect on you. Work and life are out of ‘balance,’ or you’re worried or unhappy about your job, unsure of what to do next.

We all know how draining it can be – life is overwhelming! Sometimes it seems hopeless. Sometimes you feel helpless. Sometimes it seems as though inner peace is an impossibility.

Dispel those fears right now because I want to provide you with the practices necessary to turn inner peace into a habit. In no time, it will just be another part of your day. Except this is one you’ll look forward to because with it comes serenity. Inner peace is the state of being stable and calm, while serenity involves the practice and quality to achieve this.

Here are daily practices you can start with today:

Release Control

There is only one thing you have control over in this world and it’s you. You control your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. That’s it – not external circumstances, not other people. The only thing you control in those situations is how you respond. It is far more beneficial to your inner peace and happiness to recognize, understand, and remember this. The best thing you can do is let go and focus on you.

Unconditional Living

Does your mood depend on the conditions in your environment? Your mood is high as you walk into work because you caught every green light on your commute. Your mood is low as you walk into work because you caught every red light on your commute. Your children misbehaved and it tipped you over the edge. Your children did their chores and it dragged you back from the edge.

Do you see the problem? You’re allowing yourself to live conditionally. You are being led by your environment and the behavior of others.

What does it all mean? If you want to find inner peace you have to stop expending your emotional energy on the conditions around you. Unconditional living simply means that you won’t let the conditions of your life influence how you feel.

Directed Focus

This is perhaps the most powerful aspect of turning inner peace into a habit. Think of focus as a gift from the universe. It’s something that will help build your appreciation of it, considering how often you need to focus. This walks hand-in-hand with the previous point. When you choose to live unconditionally you are shifting your focus from circumstance to self. While you will still be aware of what’s going on around you, you aren’t going to focus on all of that noise. You’re only going to focus on creating the reality you want to live in.

Don’t People Please

There are two reasons we tend to go out of our way to please others. The first is that we get satisfaction from being helpful. It gives you a little buzz. The second is we are too scared to say no and disappoint someone. The truth of the matter, though, is that people-pleasing just causes resentment, it stresses you out, and you get so busy pouring everything out into others you forget to refill your cup.

You can still help others, but don’t break yourself at the expense of others. Set your boundaries today; “no” is a sentence.

These techniques will need consistency with daily practice so they become a long-lasting habit, one that make you mindful of all that surrounds you and brings you the inner peace that can help you get through any stressful situation you encounter.

The road that you walk to find inner peace will be an exciting journey. You will uncover many truths about yourself, as well as finding out how to handle stressful situations that life throws at you.

It’s about believing that everything will work out for you, even if it might not feel or look like it.

February 26, 2025

Resilience: Finding Resolve During Tough Times

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We are at the end of another month – hard to believe how time is going quickly. I hope that the new year is treating you well, and that you are taking advantage of any and all opportunities that come your way. You may have to look for them or be open to receiving them; we can sometimes put a ‘blind eye’ to situations that seem scary.

With so many changes taking place these days, things can seem scary. But, it’s how you choose to look at them that will stop the fear from change that may be holding you back, whether that is emotionally or due to some other circumstance (finances, other people, laws, etc.). How do you push through and find your resolve – the strength and mindset to take action, despite any doubt or fear. This builds resiliency, or the ability to get back up and adapt to setbacks or life changes. Stuff will happen but not allowing them to stop you is what is needed.

If you have ever faced a challenge that you said, “I can’t do this or make it through” but you are still standing today, you have built your resilience. The important key is to go back and review how you made it through when you thought you wouldn’t’ – how did you solve the problem; did you worry about time, finances, legalities, and the like; did you lean on other people or resources for help. I think most people don’t really look at their hard – or traumatic – circumstance to see that they have survived and made it through.

Resolve is relying on your skills and abilities to determine how you will overcome any challenge while resiliency keeps you going. It’s a mindset that you will not be stopped until the desired outcome is reached; this helps you face the next challenge and the next. You will have the ability to think more clearly, to feel in control, and have good coping strategies that can help you emotionally. You will see the strong person you are, who can push through and survive any challenge or adverse situation you come across.

See yourself as the strong person and rely on your abilities; see setbacks as challenges rather than barriers; reframe negative thinking to more positive ones; use self-talk to uplift and motivate you (“you/I can do this…”); develop your ‘toolbox’ of coping strategies so you have them when needed, and use them often so they become good habits; praise and appreciate yourself for making it through. These help to develop and affirm your resolve so you remain resilient. Know that you are in control and not the other way around.

The key to life is resilience…We will always be knocked down.

It’s the getting up that counts. (Dominique Browning)

February 19, 2025

Having Courage – The Way to Do Anything

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Having courage is the way to do anything you want. Sounds easy, right? If having courage were easy, failure would not come in to play, as people would just do whatever task they want. Their goals would be a natural occurrence, and done quickly, as people would not hesitate or not move forward.

But, we know this is just an idle dream as people do hesitate, they don’t go after their desires, and they do fail. The question arises as to why there are some people who do fail but can get back up and try again. Think of The Wright Brothers or Walt Disney whose brilliant ideas didn’t work out…. until they did.

They, and many others like them, had the courage to try and try again, and again. Despite public outcry and judgements, these brave souls displayed courage to move forward despite what criticisms they faced.

We – you – need to have this same mentality to achieve your goals and dreams. But, what exactly does the word courage mean and how does one get it?

Courage is one’s ability to confront pain, fear, uncertainty, intimidation

or danger. There are different types of courage, which may range from

endurance and physical strength to mental stamina and innovation, which can be distinguished between physical and moral courage.

Physical courage involves having the courage when facing hardship, physical pain, the threat of death or death itself. Think of those in battle or pushing through after being laid off from a job.

Moral Courage is the ability of a person to act rightly when facing popular opposition, scandal, discouragement or shame. This one is very difficult for some people as they don’t want to ‘make waves,’ stand out, or go against popular opinion.

So what does separate those who act courageously versus those who don’t:

Feeling fearful but taking action despite it
Following your heart, i.e. passions
Standing up for what is right

These have all been briefly discussed earlier, so how does one become courageous?

Mindset plays the biggest part – you have to know your strengths and abilities and think/believe you can achieve. Knowing your strong-suits will give you more trust in yourself for you to rely on them; look at what you are known for, such as problem-solving, strategizing a goal, or it could be your sunny disposition. Knowing our strengths will get us through.

Believe – a part of mindset are beliefs which become fundamental and hard to change. Thoughts turn to actions which turn to beliefs. The more you think positively and think you can, then take some sort of action, the more you will believe you can do and achieve your desires. Daily, write down all your accomplishments, no matter how big or small. What did it take for you to do them – you might be surprised at your answers.

Take action – being courageous pushes you through any fear that may stop you, which is done by acting on your desires. Fears can hold you back as you may be thinking of a negative outcome or have talked yourself into how lacking you are. The brain is actually looking to protect you by being ‘safe’ and staying where you are. However, taking some type of action will lead to your desired outcome; start with the smallest step so your fear center doesn’t activate.

Visualize – see yourself with the desired outcome, as well as taking necessary actions that led you there. This is a great way to activate your brain for success. Utilize all of your senses in this exercise in detail. Our visual sense is one of the most powerful of the five senses so use it; you can close your eyes and ‘see’ you taking any actions to reach your goal; you can take a picture, draw, or find one from a magazine; what you see you start to believe and it primes your brain to go after it. I once consulted for a woman who had a picture of a house at least 20 times in her office; she said it was her dream home and she never wanted to forget what she was working for. She did get that house. It worked for her and can for you, as well.

Having courage does not equate with some large-scale event; for some people, it can mean getting out of bed or picking up the phone to schedule a job interview. Go back and look at all that you have accomplished in your life to ‘see’ how courageous you really are.

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”

(Maya Angelou)

February 5, 2025

9 Tips for Handling Frustration in a Healthy Way

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Are you feeling frustrated these days? Our world is filled with changes daily, some of which are not of our choosing. The ‘old ways’ are no longer in practice and you may find yourself feeling frustrated in how to adapt.

Chances are you’ve been here before. You’ve probably even worked out some coping strategies for when you’re stressed. The problem is, some of those strategies aren’t the best, a fact you’re already aware of.

Handling stress in healthy ways is an ongoing challenge. That’s because as humans, when we’re frustrated, we tend to react rather than respond; these reactions can come out in adverse ways that are not healthy for us, or others.

The good news is that there are more natural and healthy ways to deal with your frustrations. Remaining calm and feeling in control will allow for more positive reactions that are good for your emotional health:

Accept It

The first step in dealing with anything is to accept the reality of it. Once you’ve acknowledged that you are frustrated, you can do something about it and it no longer rules your life. When you put a name to the real reason behind the feeling of frustration is when you can change that narrative and think more positively.

For example, you might be frustrated at work that your ideas are being ignored (or seem to be) by your team during meetings, but the emotion behind it might be that you feel unheard, devalued, or unworthy. Frustration is very vague but when you relate the thought, or reason, to a name this makes it more real and you can now take some action to go after what you truly want, i.e. to be listened to or allowed time to speak up in meetings.

Send an S.O.S

Pretend you are behind enemy lines and stuck there. You need to send out a distress signal to get help in escaping. Frustrating situations can hold us captive, as if we are prisoners, who are stuck in our thoughts. You can ask for help, but you’ll need to ask for that help in a letter. This is one of the best ways to gain perspective on what is leading to feeling frustrated but, also, to release them.

Describe your distress, including all details of how you got where you are. Ask for help and what kind you need. You can aim the focus on a particular person or group and tell them exactly how you feel. No one will see it or judge you so you can say whatever you need to; this is why writing is a great way to release these feelings.

When finished? Wish the person well, let them (or the situation) know you are releasing them and will no longer be controlled by those emotions. Then, destroy the letter – burning is the best way, but you can put it in the freezer or bury it. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel (and you might even get an idea for ‘rescues’ from the exercise).

Make a List

What are the possibilities and options toward fixing whatever is causing the frustration? List everything you can think of, even the silly ideas. Write what your ideal outcome is and how you would get there. You may be surprised at how creative you can be. You can use this list as a jumping off point toward finding a solution that can be useful now and in the future.

Laugh

Read something funny. Watch a comedy. Tune in to your favorite comedian. Find a class for laughter therapy or laughter yoga. Do something fun or with family/friends. The act of laughter releases endorphins in the brain, helping you to feel better and think more clearly. Laughter releases negative emotions – you can’t feel mad and happy at the same time. Frustration doesn’t stand a chance.

Look at the Big Picture

What will this frustration look like next week? Next month? Next year? Will it be as scary as it is today? Asking these kinds of questions helps you to put your frustration in perspective, making it smaller and easier to deal with right now.

Find Some Energy

Hang around people who are full of enthusiasm. Being around positive people helps you to remain positive and likewise energizes yourself. Frustration fades in this environment.

Socialize and Talk It Out

Talk about what’s frustrating you with someone else; you can even post the situation on your social media or in a group forum if you feel comfortable. You’ll find out very quickly that you’re not alone. More importantly, you’ll see other people who have successfully gotten past this very same point and can give you some suggestions you may not have thought of. If you aren’t in a position to be around others, you can always ‘talk’ out your frustrations as if you were speaking to someone else; this ‘empty chair’ exercise is great, especially if your write it out.

Focus on Something Else

Doing mindless, repetitive work helps to put your focus elsewhere. Break your frustrating task into tiny pieces and work each one with full concentration. Use the Pomodoro Method by working for 20 minutes then taking a break, etc; setting a timer will help you to keep focused. Celebrate progress; if you need to, start small and work up. Frustration gets lost in concentration.

Be Grateful

Lastly, one of the best ways to refocus your thoughts is by being thankful on what you think you don’t have and shows you what you do. It will change your thinking and gives you strength to get through.

There are dozens of ways to get past frustration. Experiment and find what works for you. The key is not to give in but to keep pressing onward. As with anything, the more you do these steps, the more they will become a (good) habit for any situation you might have.

At the end of the day, you’re responsible for yourself and your actions and that’s all you can control. So rather than be frustrated with what you can’t control, try to fix the things you can. (Kevin Garnett)