Tag: mindsetmatters

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On Your Way to Being Happy – and Achieving More In Your Life

Happiness Is More Than Thinking Positive Thoughts

Everyone wants to be happy, don’t they? Reaching goals, making money, travel, finding love – they all bring happiness. Or do they?

While the dictionary defines happiness as “the state of being happy,” this gives you very little information about the idea or feeling of, or state of happiness. We all have heard of ‘living the dream’ – but does this mean being in a happy state?

Happiness is an internal state and will look different for each individual. Some look to fame and fortune to be happy, while others feel that way by just feeling the breeze. Defining what happiness means to you will lead you to seeking out what makes you happy and not just keep chasing it.

Let’s look at some different aspects that happiness can be, but realize that, in truth, happiness is in the mind of the beholder:

  • Your Needs are Met – When a person is happy, they usually don’t even have any needs that aren’t being met to the level they want them to be met. It doesn’t mean that someone is not having a hard time it’s all about how you make what you have fill your needs.

 

  • You Feel Satisfied – When you are happy you tend to feel simply satisfied with your life. You think about your life and feel good about it. You feel very satisfied when you look around your life and see all the fortune you have whether it’s where you live, who you live with, or just about yourself doesn’t even matter.

 

  • You Feel Content – A happy person tends to feel really content about the things in their life. They feel content about their job, their home, their things, their health – nothing is nagging at their mind about anything causing stress. But remember happy people do have stress, they’re just better at feeling content even when things aren’t perfect.

 

  • You Are at Peace – A happy person often feels a lot of peace surrounding their life and family. They tend to know that everything will turn out okay and are good at turning negativity around to positivity.

 

  • Your Definition – The truth is, happiness is how you define it personally for you. It’s not about getting tons of stuff unless you want that. It’s not about finding a spouse unless you want that. It’s not about having kids unless you want that. It’s all up to you and how you define happiness.

 

  • It’s a Journey – Happiness is not a destination that you get to one day and stay at. It’s a lifelong journey that will have many ups and downs and struggles. However, overall the ups and downs of life, you manage to feel good about it. In the 1989 movie, “Parenthood” one of the main characters, a mother, who is struggling states that she loves “the rollercoaster” of life while her husband is struggling and not as happy because he focuses on the downs instead of the ups.

 

  • It’s How You Act – When you are happy you tend to act in more positive ways over all. When happy, you eat better, you move more, you think differently. Don’t worry. You have it in your power to be happy where you are in your life right now.

 

Here are some quick tips to find your level of happiness:

 

  • Reflect – Take time to spend in self-reflection for your life – the good, the bad, the disappointments – each of these moments can show that you do have happy times throughout your life and, can then, focus on recreating that state to your present life.

 

  • Change Thoughts– reframing negative thoughts to positive ones will alter your neurons so you not only think happy, but feel that happy state of emotions. According to Mark Wahlberg, a neuroscience researcher, you need three positive thoughts to override one negative. Challenging your thoughts (“is this true?”) will create a new habit of positive thinking.

 

  • Practice Gratitude – make it a habit to practice gratitude daily. Write down at least three things (more is better) you are grateful for, and then do the same at the end of the day. This will bring more calm and peace into your life; you will see the good, which creates a sense of happiness.

Happiness is more than thinking positive thoughts. Happiness is having your needs met, but it’s not about having everything, or even the best, it’s about being satisfied with what you have while also being able to work for the things you want. While you do have to do more than think positively to really and truly feel happy, it does start with your thoughts. However, it will manifest with your actions. Follow the steps to get started.

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Ways To Practice Stillness in Your Work Routine

5 Ways To Practice Stillness in Your Work Routine

When you hear the word “stillness,” you probably think of the act of physically sitting still without any sounds, movements, or feelings. This is true, in a sense, but stillness also refers to a sense of inner peace and serenity (or, calmness); it is a mindfulness practice that leads to more focus and productivity which are essential in these crazy and uncertain time we are currently living in.

Because stillness involves the body, mind, and spirit, there are plenty of ways that you can practice stillness and improve your overall mental state. Let’s go over some of the easiest ways that you can practice stillness in your life right now!

1. Take Time to Reflect

How often do you find yourself just going through the motions of life and never looking back? While this is a good strategy to avoid harping on the negatives and reliving bad experiences, it also denies you the opportunity to reflect.

One of the best ways to practice stillness is by sitting down and reflecting on past events that have happened to you. Think about things that have happened, ideally happy moments, and think about what they meant to you and how they’ve changed you as a person for the better. Sitting in past circumstance can show that you have lived through other experiences and will again. Any negative memories won’t have control over you, despite thinking that way.

2. Focus on Gratitude and What You’re Thankful For

As humans, we spend a lot of time looking toward the future and constantly setting new goals. This is great for advancing yourself as a functioning member of society, but it’s also good to slow down a little and take a look around.

Take the time to think about what you do have currently in your life. This could be friends, family, physical items, and experiences you’ve had. Just focus on the positives that have happened in your life and identify what you’re thankful for and jot them down in a gratitude journal. Be sure to include yourself in this practice, either through actions that you have taken or something you have done for others, and who has done for you. This will enhance your self-esteem and confidence levels.

3. Just “Be”

How often do you just merely “exist” as a human? We’re talking about just sitting or lying there, not doing anything productive, not thinking about anything that’s going on in your life, and not distracted by your phone or other technology.

Take the time to just relax and do nothing. You can do it in your home or at your favorite place, but just focus on breathing, passing by any negative thoughts that might be lingering, and just work on the concept of existing. This is a boundary issue that is okay to be selfish at times. You will feel refreshed and recharged to face each daily.

4. Try Meditation

It’s hard to go a minute in your life without being stressed by something, let alone being stress-free for an hour or more. Therefore, it’s a great idea to proactively rid your mind of the stress you’re experiencing, at least for a little while.

Find a comfortable spot and play some soft music or a guided meditation track. Focus on taking deep breaths, clearing your mind of any lingering stress, and shifting your mind toward nothing (yes, nothing at all!). Start small, say two minutes, and work your way up. Meditation does not mean that you won’t have any thoughts but that you don’t have to do anything about them, thus leading to more peace.

5. Explore the World

When was the last time you went any further than 30 minutes away from the house (and not to go to work or the department store)? Now, think about the last time you actually went off the beaten path and explored nature a little bit.

You don’t have to go on a road trip or go anywhere further than the local hiking trails at the park. But, spend a little time engulfing yourself in the beauty of the world around you and you’ll begin to recognize that there’s much more to life than your own little world. This is a helpful practice if working from home – go outside on your lunch hour to connect with nature. Somehow, the air and change of scenery is a mood-lifter so you have more energy to face the day.

Final Thoughts

When you begin to actively practice stillness in your life, you’ll begin to notice that you feel much calmer than you normally do, which will reflect in your work. It takes a little bit of time and effort on your part, but this is honestly one of the best ways to achieve a sense of inner peace.

We focus on all things corporate, especially workplace stress. If you, or your employees, are struggling right now, why not schedule a call to see how we can help. We’re here for you!

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Being Affected by Coworkers Emotions? 3 Tips to Shut Them Down (nicely)

 

Do you deal with a coworker who affects you emotionally? These are individuals who:

  • are chronically late to work or on projects (and not with good reasons)
  • don’t contribute to the team
  •  don’t seem to comprehend the goal or processes and need constant direction
  • likewise, those who are eternal question-askers
  • are chronic complainers (and never offer a solution)
  • bark orders but never offer to pitch in
  • who seem to always be in a crises

I’m sure there are many others but these are some of the top reasons why clients come to me. They don’t know how to deal with these types of behaviors which leaves them feeling resentful, angry, or anxious. They often find themselves not wanting to go to work to avoid these individuals.

I find that high-performers are affected more by these bad behaviors;  you know these individuals who show up (or early) and get the work done happily; they are the solution-focused who aren’t willing to settle for the status-quo. These individuals have little tolerance for others who aren’t showing up each day to get the work done (and rightfully so).

When taking a job, there is an expectation that work is the focus in order to serve customers who keep the business successful.  However, in the day-to-day drudgery this seems to get lost and people get in their silos of just doing the job, forgetting the purpose of them being there. These individuals are at risk for finding the negatives in their role and becoming unhappy and disengaged. The result? The above behaviors.

Being affected by other’s emotions can become toxic for many over time, especially those who are empathetic in nature. Empaths tend to be givers and helpers and are great at trying to understand other’s viewpoints and actions. But these individuals can also take on others’ emotions, which neuroscience shows happens. This leaves them vulnerable to be emotionally affected in some way.

Take, for instance, being around a chronic complainer; an empath will feel this negativity more deeply and feel frustrated that they can’t help, or that their suggestions go unrecognized. Chronic complainers don’t want a solution – they want change but in their way. An empath will be unsure of how to proceed, leaving them frustrated and anxious to avoid the complainer; many begin to hate their jobs.

If this sounds familiar, here are 3 quick tips to reconnect with your job so you aren’t affected emotionally:

1. Stay in your own lane: focus only on your work-goals and outcomes you aim to achieve. Find the pleasures in the work you, tying them to your skills and talents, which leads to more confidence and satisfaction. You won’t have time to worry about what others are doing, or not doing, which stops any negativity you may experience.

2. Use empathy: Strive to hear what’s behind a behavior, as there is always some emotion there; this puts the responsibility on the person and not on you to help them solve their problem or take on their negative emotion. These individuals may be dealing with hard times in their personal life that spill over into the workplace. Also, be assertive and ask them to stop and take their complaining elsewhere.

3. Practice self-care: focus on your own happiness in  the work you do, as it this takes the focus off of the other person and puts it where it needs to be – you. Take deep breaths; remove yourself by taking a break and go outside; refocus on your own work tasks and your satisfactions in the job. When you focus on you and your needs, you won’t worry about others and they won’t affect you.

Other’s behaviors will only impact you if you allow them to. If anything, see yourself as having an invisible shield that you put up when around these types of behaviors that can’t be penetrated. You’ll be much happier doing so.

If you’re ready to rev-up your success factor, contact today for a free discovery/strategy session to learn how.

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The Root Cause of Not Putting Yourself Out There and How to Break Free

I was in a Facebook group the other day and was quite surprised at answers that were given to a question, which related to marketing activities. Not only were there many similarities but what was surprising was how many had the same response, which related to not putting themselves out there to market themselves.

This is a common issue, one which I will admit I have struggled with myself. The worry about being visible and being a thought-leader scares many, both small business owners and those who work in an organization. This worry transcends across all genders and ages. If not caught early, the results can be detrimental to success.

Why does this occur and can anything be done to stop or reverse it? It really comes down to thoughts and emotions and imprinting that was done at an early age. Getting to the root cause will be easier to challenge the thoughts and stop the cycle. Irrational fears result from those early experiences.

If you think back to a time, say when you were six, and you got yelled at by a teacher or parent it may lead to worry about getting yelled at for other experiences. If you were compared to your sibling or classmates (the nuns in my grade school were good for this one), then your thoughts may turn to not being pretty enough.

The more we hold on to these thoughts, as if we’re replaying a movie, the more embedded they become in our unconscious mind waiting there to arise in the most inopportune  times, such as when you are going to ask the boss for a raise or promotion.  Our unconscious mind really controls our thoughts and resulting actions, as that is where 98% of those unconscious thoughts live.

The key to breaking free is to identify those thoughts and experiences you’ve lived through. They were in the past so it becomes about leaving them there or putting them in a place you can put them, i.e. think of a box. Mark Waldman, a neuroscience expert, says that you can write down all your worries, concerns, problems, etc. but not to hide them as the brain will  worry about them.

When we allow these negative thoughts and events to have life, they become bigger than we want and ultimately result in holding back from new experiences to avoid what occurred in the past. As you don’t know if any event will occur with absolute certainty, you are wasting a lot of time worrying about something you don’t know versus going forward on what you do want.

Say you want to ask for a promotion, you don’t know if the boss will say no; but, even if he does, it could open up the door to discussing future opportunities. Perhaps there is no budget for a new position or no opening; however, he could find a project to work on that would provide opportunity to enhance your skills and raise your profile for when an opening becomes available. It can feel like you’re up against a brick wall, with no way over or through.

The key to breaking free from these blockages is to release them. Identify the source, challenge any thoughts around them, then replace them with positive ones. I find this practice very helpful when I get blocked and know they work. It will take practice to get out this negative pattern but, with consistency and a positive mindset you will get there. Is today the day you decide to release your blocks?

If you want to stop the struggle  and get clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help –  contact me today to get started.

 

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Monday Success Tip: Beating Resistance on Goals

Happy Monday! Now that the holidays are over, today feels like the ‘official’ start of the new year. This is typically the time to start taking action on goals that are set. Getting- and keeping – motivation is the key to following through on those set action.

But, motivation can ebb and fade. It all comes down to resistance, which can look like a time when you had  a project that you needed to complete but you procrastinate, or you don’t return a phone call or, worse, not pick up the phone. There is something going on in a deeper level that is blocking you from doing the things you either want or need to do.

It really comes down to change and moving away from the comfort zones we get into; when we want to move out of this ‘zone,’ the brain and body have a way of trying to pull you back into safety which means you will continue to think and behave the way you have.

All this does is sabotage your mood, your thinking, and your success. Eventually, it will take a toll on your money and your relationships; it’s like a vortex you go down and, without addressing it, you might not get out of.

So, how do you stop and reverse this bad habit (yes, habit)? Here are three ways to do so:

  1.  I would recommend taking time to sit in deep reflection as to what you are thinking, feeling, doing when it comes to your work (it could be any task) – do you worry you won’t have enough time, money, support; do you think it won’t be ‘good enough’ or will be rejected; are you doing this task because you think it’s important or for someone else. Answering these will get to the root of the matter – now you can do something about it
  2. Changing your mindset is critical in order to change your conscious thinking; I encourage you to write down your belief and then ask yourself if you absolutely know it to true (ala The Work). Challenging your negative beliefs will help you to see that it is your belief and not that of others. If you didn’t have that thought – what would you be?
  3. Rewrite any negatives into a positive so it becomes more motivating, compelling, and easy for your brain to accept. By bringing the unconscious thought to consciousness, it loses its appeal and opens you up to coming up with all kinds of possibilities to deal with it.

I have been using these techniques and can tell you they are effective. I also would add to put some downtime – self-care and fun – in the mix as this will also open up your creative mind and level of happiness. Both are essential to moving forward and being accomplished.

See change as positive and focus on the benefits you will received when you have that goal. This is a great way to move past any resistance and develop the habit of embracing changes in your life. Doing so makes you unstoppable.

 

Your Weekly Action Plan

Begin this week to take stock of any tasks or projects, or times, that you find you are hesitating/procrastinating/avoiding doing. Use the steps above to figure out “why” and do the exercises to stop any bad habits and begin to develop ones that will lead you to the life you desire.

 

I hope you have a successful week – If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, or in developing your action plan, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started. I’d love to help you build the career and business of your dreams!

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