Tag: mindsetmatters

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Top Types of Meditation and The Benefits They Bring

You most likely hear that a good way to reduce stress and anxiety is to mediate. Sounds easy, right? Well, calming the brain and the body is actually difficult until you develop good practices that will help.

But do you know that there is more than one type of meditation? In fact, there are countless forms of meditation – each of which has different goals and methods.

The question then, is which type of meditation is right for you – and how do you get started with the one you choose? This guide will help you to understand more and decide.

Mindfulness Meditation

We’ll start with this one, only because it has become so popular recently that it’s the type many people may be familiar with.

Mindfulness meditation comes from cognitive behavioral therapy – a psychotherapeutic approach in psychology. The idea here is not to empty your mind of thoughts – as it is in many other forms – but rather to try and detach yourself from those thoughts and not be affected by them. Note which thoughts float by, but don’t try to change them.

Body Scan Meditation

Closely linked to mindfulness meditation is body scan meditation – this is a form of meditation that involves focusing on each part of your body and progressively relaxing. It’s great for refreshing the brain and chilling after a hard day.

Transcendental Meditation

This is another of the more popular and well -known forms of meditation. The goal here is to clear your mind and to do so usually by focusing on a mantra (umm, omm, calm or peace), a picture, or perhaps an imaginary point in space. Doing this can help you to eventually close down areas of your brain while retaining consciousness.

Loving Kindness Meditation

Loving kindness meditation is a form of meditation that involves focusing your mind on a specific feeling – in this case love and kindness! By doing this, you will feel happier and you will become better at forgiving people. It also feels fantastic in the moment.

Kundalini Yoga Meditation

Kundalini yoga meditation is a form of moving meditation. The idea here is to move gently into different positions while focusing on controlling your breathing and staying calm and focused. The result can be highly relaxing while also improving your overall health and wellness.

Religious Meditation

Religious practitioners can engage in meditation by focusing deeply on a passage of text from their scripture, or on a prayer.

Zazen

Zazen is a form of meditation associated with Zen Buddhism. It must be taught under the leadership of an instructor and involves a number of specific steps. However, the objective is once again to focus primarily on detaching yourself from your thoughts and letting go of judgement.

To get started and be successful with meditation, here are 3 ways to help:

  1. Find a quiet place – since the purpose of meditation is to calm your thoughts, you want a place that is free from distractions and gives you a sense of calm and peace (which you can create). It can be an area in your bedroom or living room, a porch or patio, or even outdoors. As you will be establishing regular routine, you want the space to be inviting and accessible.
  2. Map out time and starting small – meditation is a gift you are giving yourself, so you want to set time to receive and enjoy the gift which starts with time. You can set a timer – start with 2 minutes, then work your way up to an amount of time that works for you. It might be easier to put it in your schedule, such as before you eat breakfast or before bed; using a planner or calendar will ensure you develop a routine.
  3. Focus and relax – as the intent of meditation is to take away your thoughts but to not act on them, it will be easier in the beginning to focus on your breath sounds or a picture on the wall. There are guided meditations you can find on YouTube, SoundCloud, or buy from a retailer.
  4. Monitor and review – it’s important to monitor how your feel after each session and, then, overall, as your meditative practices and their effects. This will give you confirmation that it is working and the benefits you are receiving. It’s important to remember that it may take up to 4 days before you feel any change in your mood, feelings, thoughts, responses. Be easy on yourself but continue with your sessions, no matter the struggle.

 

“As we practice meditation, we get used to stillness and eventually are able to make friends with the quietness of our sensations.”                             (Sharon Salzberg)

 

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Understanding and Accepting Your Emotions

Understanding and Accepting Your Emotions

We all cope with emotions in different ways. Learning to understand and accept your emotions for what they are and what they can teach you is an essential life skill, one that can show you a great deal about yourself and help you grow as a person, in all areas of your life.

Choosing to ignore or push aside your emotions, instead of accepting them for what they are, is a sign of mental health trouble and can lead to serious health consequences, which you may not realize.

Truthfully, this applies more to negative emotions, the one where pain, hurt, disappointment, etc. form the basis. And those events/memories don’t have to be recent as our brain stores all of them. But, we typically hold on more to the negative ones -our brains are wired this way, unfortunately.

Emotional Acceptance

One of the most common reactions to emotions, especially negative or uncomfortable ones, is to ignore them or reject how they make us feel. Because they make us feel bad, we choose not to handle them, which means we are not adequately dealing with them. It’s said that negative emotions can feel like you haven’t eaten for a week.

One of the perils is that we try to rehash the negative event and trying to make sense of it; however, this just cements these memories more into our brain. Instead of accepting and processing these feelings, we may stuff them down or numb their effects with self-destructive behaviors like drinking or using drugs, sex, or spending; you can get angry and lash out or retreat and isolate.

 

While it is not healthy to walk around feeling bad all the time, that is not what emotional acceptance it all about. Emotions are feedback from your mind and your body. They give you valuable information that you need to pay attention to. When you ignore or dull these feelings, the problem still exists and will find another way to manifest in your life.

Emotional acceptance is allowing your emotions to occur without judging yourself for having them or trying to change how you feel. What you may not realize is that those emotions are there, waiting to come out. You can keep pushing them aside but they can consume you, either depleting your or leading you to react like Mt. Etna – neither is a good result.

Emotional acceptance requires that you stop trying to control your feelings because the emotions themselves cannot harm you. You have control over how much they influence your choices and decisions, so allowing yourself to feel them cannot harm you.

Emotional acceptance is not giving in to your emotions. It is, instead, a decision to stop struggling against them. You are putting down your weapons and allowing yourself to feel them so that you can move on from them in a healthy manner.

Acceptance v. Resignation

Accepting your emotion does not mean you resign yourself to always feeling this way. Just because you are sad now does not mean you give up and want to remain wretched forever. It is not about wallowing in your pain or negative emotions.

Instead, acceptance means that you are aware that this is how you feel right now. It is what is necessary for you in your life currently, and in the future, things will change, and you will feel better. When you accept your emotions, you do not hold on to these feelings but instead experience them in the present and become ready to move past them later.

If you don’t resolve them, or find a way to put them in a space that they no longer hurt you, they will take control; plus, you need to see that you have the ability to do so, thus raising your esteem and confidence for future events.

Why You Need to Practice Acceptance

Emotions are not something you can discard just because you do not like them. Your mind and body feel these emotions for a reason. Erasing them completely would not be healthy for you. Emotions are there to tell you what to avoid, what to value, and what makes you happy.

They help you decide who is essential in your life and how you should spend your time. Therefore, learning to listen to and accept your emotions can teach you a lot about what is essential in your life, if you know how to listen and stop trying to push them away.

So, you might ask if there is way to deal with these emotions safely? The answer is yes, but it is going to take time and practice. Changing habits is not easy but doable.

 

Here are a few steps you can take:

  1. Take time to assess your emotions, and really being honest, no matter how uncomfortable it feels. We will always feel something first before we’re aware of our thoughts, i.e. stomach, short of breath, heart palpations, lashing out at others, etc.
  2. Journal your thoughts and feelings – this releases held-in emotions, plus you can make more sense of these situations.
  3. Talk with others, whether your family or friends, or it could be a therapist or coach. Getting outsider opinions can help us rethink ours.

Final Thoughts

Emotional acceptance frees you from the constant stress of struggling to mask or ignore what is troubling you and instead releases your emotional energy for healing and affirmative action moving forward. Identifying how you feel and then determining the purpose of this emotion can tell you a lot about yourself and your life. Learning to accept your feelings is crucial for your emotional health and well-being and can set you free from the burdens you carry. Plus, you will feel stronger to deal with anything that comes you way.

 

“It is not the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.” — Aisha Mirza

 

Reach out if you’re wanting help with managing your emotions or improving your life. You don’t have to go it alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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End of the Year Decluttering: Don’t Forget to Include Your Mind, Also

The end of the year is a great time to leave the old behind to make way for the new. In addition to goal, this can be the time to declutter, aka, purging the old to make way for the new.

Before you can throw old items away, it’s vital to start by decluttering your mind. If you look at why you keep papers, mementos, and the like, is because there is some emotional attachment to them, hence mindset.

If you’re hanging onto to clothes that don’t fit, or the ugly vase your mother gave you for Christmas, or the exercise bike you might get around to using, you don’t just have a problem with too much stuff. You have a problem with letting go of bad feelings, ill-founded assumptions, old grievances and future worries.

If it feels good to declutter your house, it feels even better to declutter your mind, and letting go of those the ‘emotional baggage’ we tend to carry around.

Here are some useful expert tips to make some space in your mind.

 

  1. Use mindfulness or meditation techniques:

You don’t have to do the full sitting on a cushion in a darkened room thing to benefit from meditation techniques. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, some simple breathing techniques can help you calm down and focus.

For a few minutes, focus only on your breathing and nothing else, such as the 4-7-8 rule (breathe in slowly for a count of 4, hold it for a count of 7, then slowly breathe out for a count of 8). Even a two-minute breathing practice will give you calm so you can think more clearly and start to working on letting go.

If your mind wanders or gets back into the worrying groove, you must put that aside and come back to focus on your breath. Taking a walk or, even, sitting outside brings calm but focus on the sounds you hear, what you see, what you feel (the sun or the breeze).

 

  1. Write it down

It can help to write down anything that’s on your mind. Once all those worries are down on paper, you can prioritize them and work out a plan to deal with them. You can also assess them to identify what’s essential and what isn’t. When you can see what’s important, you can focus your energy and free up some of that mental space!

 

  1. Stay in the present

Brooding over the past and worrying about the future take up a lot of space in your mind and achieves, precisely, nothing. Let go of regret over past mistakes or resentment of past slights and move on.

Keep your focus on what you can influence right here, right now. Journal about it, write a letter to the person or situation – but you burn it in the end to release those old thoughts and feelings.

Focus on what you can control right now – not the past or the future. Say a mantra to keep you focused, such as ‘stay in the present.’ Out minds need verbal prompts so this is a good practice to adopt.

 

  1. Do one thing at a time

Multitasking is not only overrated and inefficient, it also leads to greater anxiety, and you won’t do any one thing properly. Actually, our brains can not do two things at one time, so trying to depletes brain energy.

It’s best to focus on doing things methodically and thoroughly. As you finish one task, move onto the next. Listing tasks you want to accomplish will give you direction on where to go, but not trying to accomplish all at once. Smaller steps lead to bigger changes.

 

  1. Control all incoming data you take in

Every day we are bombarded by so much information – TV, news, social media websites, podcast, radio, YouTube, and the like. It can be overwhelming and addictive if your ‘not careful.

We talk about being available 24/7 and the 24-hour news cycle, but there is only one person who can control this: You.

You can choose to switch off your computer, smartphone, and tv and control the amount of data your brain is trying to process. You may have to start small, such as turning off your electronics for 15-30 minutes, then increase your time; at night or during meals, turn your phone off off. You can control how much information comes in, which will help you emotionally and physically.

Decluttering your mind will pay off in all sorts of ways you hadn’t imagined. You will be more productive, less stressed, and more motivated. Overall, you will feel more peaceful and confident you can handle anything that comes your way.

If you struggle with productivity or negativity in your life, reach out to get help. You can be in control of your life,

 

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The Importance of Self-Belief

In order to achieve any desire, you need to have one vital piece which is to have self-belief; this is also known as self-efficacy, or the belief that you can act in ways so you will achieve your goals (Bandura, 1977). Even if you say, on a conscious level, that you can do something you won’t if you don’t fundamentally believe that yo u can.

You may wonder why it is important to believe in yourself. The simple answer is that if you don’t, no one else will. Actions and results are what lead others to believe that you can do what you say you will; however, if you don’t follow through, then their trust wanes and they stop fully believing in you.

However, the reverse can be true: you may have accomplished a goal in the past but took your achievements for granted. You may have failed at something but allow that to stick, so your thinking may be “I’m not good at anything.” This, then, becomes your belief system and you may have the tendency to reject any compliments or attribute your success to good luck.

Truth is if was all you who achieved the tasks, but your psyche isn’t allowing you to accept this truth. Others see if but you don’t (or won’t). Getting to the fundamental truth is what will lead you to accept that you were the one behind the achievement – any.

Why is it so hard for you to have self-belief? We can look at some reasons, such as being raised where you were told to be self-less and do for others; another reason is that it could be looked at as bragging or boasting; some don’t want to draw attention to themselves; while for others, the fear if not being good enough comes in to play.

It’s actually those little gremlins lying dormant in your head but controlling your thoughts and beliefs. The more you allow them to stay in your head, the more power they have to control you and your actions. From working with clients s, their frustration with a lack of self-belief leads to anxiety and, in some instances, depression, as don’t believe they can change this way of thinking.

But, nothing can be further from the truth. I will say, however, that changing mindset is not easy but it can be done with practice and consistency. It’s a new way of challenging and changing your thoughts but focusing on positives versus negatives.

Here are a few tips to get started:

  1. Keep track of your accomplishments – at the end of each day, write down activities you did and the successes you had; it doesn’t matter how big or small they are as you did them.
  2. Keep an accomplishment jar or box – get a jar, with small strips of paper or sticky notes, and write down your achivements; it’s so gratifying when you see the jar fill up and, you can take one or two out if you’re feeling unmotivated or down on yourself.
  3. Look back at a past event or achievement that you had originally believed you would not be able to do and write out that scenario, including the skills, resources, support, and mindset it took to make it happen.
  4. Write down 10 things you like about yourself – be really honest, as this will allow you to identify and savor the good parts of you that you use every day.
  5. Ask others – this one takes a bit of bravery, but ask your family, friends, or coworkers what is a word that comes to mind when they think of you. If you’re really brave, post this on your social media. I can tell you it’s very reaffirming when you hear positive thoughts and compliments from others.

Try one of these tips, then add another, so you can beging to change your mindset and view of yourself (belief). To look at this another way, you have already achieved and been through ‘stuff’ – you just have to see this viewpoint. Be sure to hold and savor the good so it will ‘feel’ good (we do tend to reject what doesn’t feel good). With enough consistency, new habits will be cemented and your self-belief and confidence will be second nature. Aren’t you worth it?

 

“Believe in yourself, our abilities, a d our own potential. Never let self-doubt hold you captive. You are worthy of all that you dream of and hope for.”  (Roy Bennett)

If you’re struggling with a negative mindset, reach out to see how we can help you change this way of thinking.

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