Tag: mindsetmatters

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4 Steps to Controlling Your Anger Triggers

4 Steps to Controlling Your Anger Triggers

Do you ever find yourself feeling irritated, frustrated, ticked off, or downright angry? We all do at one or another. Knowing your anger triggers for what sets you off will go a long way to controlling them before they spiral out of control.

Everyone has their own little quirks, usually these go to expectations for how we would like people to act or respond, as well as how we would like situations to play out. Triggers are what set you off to feeling a state of anger; these depend on who is involved and how high the stakes are.

You could probably list your own triggers right now—little stuff, such as clutter or having to wait around. Maybe you can’t stand a particular word or phrase, or you find it impossible to work if there’s noise.

The thing about triggers is that they’re often small things that tip you over the edge and, before you know it, you’ve lost your temper over something that in the scheme of things doesn’t really matter. Over time, without resolution of an earlier situation, the anger lead to explosive outbursts that can be damaging in thoughts and words.

Getting a handle on your anger will help you, and your relationships with others, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Here are four steps you can take to manage your anger triggers better:

  1. Take control

The first thing is to realize that you are totally in control of how you react. Work out what your triggers are, and you can take your power back. You can anticipate and plan for situations where you know you’re likely to blow your top.

  1. Learn to read your body

Be conscious of how your anger manifests in your body. Likely your heart rate will go up, or your hands and jaw will clench. You might feel breathless or even get a stomachache, headache or back pain.

Tune into what your body is telling you, and you’ll learn to be able to stop the process of reacting. And remember the feelings themselves aren’t ‘bad’ but how you choose to respond to those feelings can be harmful, even destructive.

Instead of sweeping the papers off your desk onto the floor, or yelling, take a deep breath or go for a walk. Feeling triggered is often a result of low blood sugar, fatigue, or dehydration. Taking care of your physical needs can help you manage your emotional needs as well and make you more resilient to stresses and triggers.

  1. Identify what triggered you

Once you can interrupt the trigger response, you can start to work out what it was that set it off in the first place. Did you feel disrespected? Unheard? Were you mistreated or misunderstood? If someone pushed in front of you in the coffee line, what did that signal to you? That your needs aren’t important?

What about if someone talks over you or interrupts in a meeting? As well as being rude, you could feel sidelined, humiliated even. Triggers relate to our emotions, particularly negative ones so once you identify exactly what the emotion is, you can then find ways to get what you really want, i.e. from disrespect to respect etc.

 

  1. Choose your plan of action

Whatever your triggers might be, it’s totally up to you how you react. You can anticipate how you might feel and what you might do or say in response. Take a deep breath, detach from the situation, and focus on how you want to feel. You can choose to stay calm in triggering situations – it’s up to you. Scripting the situation, where you are ‘directing’ the scene will give you a different perspective and allow you to see how the action plan will play out; you won’t know what the other person(s) will do but it will give you more confidence to deal with that situation.

 

Anger is a natural state which really goes with being hurt by something that either someone did or did not do, or a scene did not play out the way we wanted it to.

Additionally, being in stress and overwhelm can lead to a form of anger and lashing out so, the more that you are aware of your triggers, the more you can educe these incidents from happening while being more in control of your thoughts and emotions.

It may take some time, but you can create a new habit with consistency. One last point – take deep breaths when your trigger arises to relax your brain and body.

 

Reach out if your find your having angry outburst or feel in overwhelm due to stress and anxiety; learn how we can help you develop relaxation and coping tools and strategies to get you more in control of your life.

 

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5 Stress Hacks You Didn’t Know About That Can

Everyone feels stressed sometimes. Maybe you had a rough day at work, or you’re going through some financial difficulties due to circumstances outside of your control. Stress can negatively impact your mental health, as well as your physical health.

If you’re having a hard time coping with stress in your life right now, we’ve got you covered. In this article, we’ve compiled 5 helpful stress hacks you probably didn’t know about!

1.    Do Tense and Release Exercises

Stress tends to manifest in certain areas of your body, especially your neck and shoulders. You might not be aware of it, but you’re probably carrying a whole lot of tension in these parts of your body. We tend to hold our emotions in under stress, either trying not to address it or not wanting to upset someone else – this constricts the red blood cells and the muscles so you feel ‘achy.’

Thankfully, a quick 15-minute tense-and-release exercise can help you loosen up and relax a bit. Starting with your toes (or you can start with your hands) and working your way up to your neck and face, tense and release your muscles, really focusing on the relaxation you feel. Once practiced, it will be like Pavlov’s dog, where you muscle-memory will kick in and relaxation will be automatic. It’s a an easy routine to establish.

2.    Go For Plenty of Walks

This is great advice for those who get stressed out at work from having to sit so much. Walking not only relieves stress and clears your head, but it has also been proven to improve sleep and inspire creative ideas. If you don’t have time to walk for thirty minutes or an hour, try taking three 10-minute walks throughout your work day. This is a great way, also, to take a brain break to increase your productivity.

3.    Listen to Music

The power of music is pretty amazing, as it engages our whole brain. Listening to calming music is a fantastic stress reliever, and it can even put you in a better mood. Lo-fi music has actually been proven to help people focus more efficiently on their work, especially those who suffer from mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and ADHD. You can listen to Pharrell’s song, Happy, as a great mood-lifter, along with dancing or movement.

4.    Focus on Your Breathing

You might have heard this one before, but that’s only because it’s such helpful advice! Our breathing patterns tend to change drastically when we’re excited, stressed, or scared. Focusing on your breathing and doing so, in a calm way, can promote relaxation. Listen to the sound of your breath, with your eyes closed, to relax your brain and body, along with boosting your energy. This is a great exercise to try when you’re sitting at your work desk.

5.    Start Journaling

Even if you haven’t kept a journal since junior high school, you can always get back into it! Recording your thoughts and keeping track of your feelings is a great way to relieve stress. Write about your day in your journal each night when you get home from work. That way, anything stressful that might have happened during the day is out of your mind and on the page. You can also set your goals and recognize accomplishments, or gratitudes, which can relax any stress you may feel in the moment.

Coaching Tip:

Managing stress is not easy, as it is an automatic response but, with time and effort, you can master these stress management tips, You will, then, be able to handle any stressors that you face with more ease and live a calmer, less chaotic life.

 

 

If you’re struggling with stress, don’t delay in getting help as it can overtake your life and lead to emotional and physical symptoms. Visit our website to learn about our programs and services. Mastering these can start today!

 

 

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5 Tips for Getting Out of a Rut and Starting Fresh

Do you ever feel as if you are in rut – nothing seems to change, almost as if you are experiencing groundhog day daily?

If you feel like life has become predictable, unfulfilling, and boring, maybe it’s time for a fresh start. Deciding to make a change doesn’t mean you have to turn your life upside down, but it is an opportunity to stand back and revise your current way of life. With the next year upon us, this would be a great time to re-evaluate your life circumstances and take steps to break out of the ruts that are tying you.

Whether it’s a lifestyle, location, or career change, there are some simple things you can do right now to get out of that rut and get some positive energy back into your life.

  1. Work out What Makes You Happy

Have you ever sat down and ruminated about what makes you happy? What lifts your spirits and puts a spring in your step? What makes your heart sing and your energy levels skyrocket?

Some people feel happiest out in nature, while others prefer sports or reading. Maybe you love the arts, dancing, or helping people. Or still, perhaps you have skills and talents that make a difference in your work. Make a list of what makes you happy and take action so you can focus on bringing more joy into your life.

  1. Practice Saying Yes

Most people are so busy with the everyday life that they don’t make time to get out of their comfort zone and do something different. When was the last time you tried something new or challenging? Be open to new experiences, start saying yes to yourself, and choose to do things that feel good.

  1. Make a Stop Doing List

Once you start saying yes to the things that feel good, you need to practice saying no. You need a stop doing list! You’re probably well aware of the bad habits you’ve fallen into and the things you do that don’t bring you joy. While there are some things you have no control over, see what energy-draining tasks you can eliminate from your life. Write a list to remind yourself of the things you can choose not to do, and free up time for the things that make your heart soar.

One way to determine this is to do a ‘time study’ on yourself – track your actions from the time you wake up until you go to bed – this can help you determine not just time-wasters, but also your most productive times to take advantage of them.

  1. Declutter

Most people have way too much stuff in their lives. Look around you right now and see what’s holding you back. Clutter includes spending hours scrolling through social media, limiting beliefs, and bad lifestyle habits as well as all that junk in the kitchen drawer.

Purging is actually good for your mental health as it can cause stress and anxiety when living with too much unwanted ‘stuff.’ Get 3 baskets, one for keep, throw out, and donate, and then set a timer – say 20 minutes to start – and then get to work. You will be surprised at how free you will feel after.

  1. Say No to Fear

Perhaps the single most empowering thing you can do to get out of a rut is to walk away from fear. Fear will stop you from taking risks, big or small. It makes you too afraid to try anything new and holds you back from reaching your potential.

Identify your fear(s) and then look at one step you can take to start, as this will stop your fear-center from activating and holding you back. Slow and steady wins the race.

Coaching Tip:

Make a commitment to yourself to take back control of your life and leap into a fresh start. This is the perfect time to get prepared and ready to take action for the new year, that will set you up for success (if you can start now- great!).

 

 

If you’re struggling to move past your fear and get more out of your life, then reach out to get help – we’re here for you!

 

 

 

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Learning the Emotional Impacts Of Stress

A new pandemic is unleashing, and with a vengeance – increased stress and emotional problems in the workplace. Or, should I say, from the workplace.

 

Everyday, there are new stories arising that relate to the negative impact that stress is having on workers, which is not industry-specific (although some industries seem to be suffering more, such as healthcare).  According to the American Institute of Stress, 80% of workers are experiencing on-the-job stress, some more severely than others.

 

Stress impacts every aspect of our lives, from physical health to emotional health. More than anything, stress negatively impacts our emotional health. It can cause you to be depressed, emotionally spent and exhausted, and a whole slew of other negative things.

 

In this article, we’re going to help you identify the emotional impact of your stress and what you can do about it.

 

Personality changes that may be caused by stress

The first way for you to identify if your stress is impacting your emotional health is by observing a few personality changes. It’s important to note that by personality changes, we mean long-term. Everyone experiences mood shifts, good days and bad days, etc. We’re talking about noticing these personality changes taking effect for days and weeks at a time, or longer.

 

The following are noticeable personality changes that could be caused by stress:

 

  • Irritability
  • Anger
  • Frustration
  • Hostility
  • Decreased interest in appearance
  • Aggressive feelings or behavior
  • Depression
  • Decreased concern in punctuality
  • Lack of motivation
  • The Reduced work efficiency or productivity
  • Obsessive/compulsive behaviors
  • Excessive auspiciousness or defensiveness
  • Lying or making excuses to cover up poor work or behavior
  • Communication difficulties
  • Isolation
  • Social withdraw
  • Impulsivity

 

If you notice any of the following changes taking hold on your life and emotional health, try to limit your stress and maybe seek additional help.

 

Anxiety disorders

Stress can cause certain anxiety disorders to creep up, come back, or flare up. Stress and anxiety are bed mates and rarely exist without each other. If you’re overworked and over-stressed and do nothing about it, anxiety can start to take hold.

 

If you notice that most everything causes you to feel anxious or even to panic, this could be a problem for you. If you’re unfamiliar with the feelings of anxiety, here are some common signs of panic:

 

  • Heart racing
  • Tightness in the chest making it difficult to breath
  • Stomach pain or feelings of butterflies in the stomach
  • Acid reflux
  • Shaking
  • Flushed
  • Hot flashes or chills
  • Numbness in your hands or other parts of the body
  • Feeling dizzy or light-headed

 

It’s important to note that anxiety and panic affect everyone differently. Each person has a different tell for their anxiety attacks; the best advice we can give you is to pay attention and note your signs.

 

Depression

Stress can also impact your emotional health by causing or worsening depression. It’s very important to address depression if it’s starting to take hold in your life, as it can worsen very quickly with little to no warning. If you’ve noticed any of the following symptoms creep up and not seem to go away, consider talking to a friend, loved one, or mental health professional for assistance:

 

  • Decreased interest in favorite things or activities
  • Social withdraw or isolation
  • Decreased interest in appearance
  • Interest in doing little other than laying around
  • Decreased interest in hygiene
  • Fatigue
  • Sense of hopelessness

 

What to do about it

If you’ve noticed that stress is impacting your emotional health, there are a few things you can do to help it:

 

Eliminate unnecessary stressors

Are you taking on more responsibilities than you need to? Do you stress about little things that you should probably just let go? Sit down and take a hard look at your life and what’s causing you stress. See what you can eliminate or work on not taking so hard or letting go of.

 

Keep to a schedule

Sometimes, what’s stressing us out the most is a lack of control. Scheduling your time and sticking to it can help to eliminate some of that excess stress that’s impacting your emotional health. Making lists each day will help you to keep focused on your tasks – you won’t have to think or worry about what to do – and helps with managing your time.

 

Take time for you

We’re all busy, but it’s important for us to work in some time for ourselves. Self-care is an important part of our emotional and mental health. If you’re having trouble with too much stress in your life, carving some time out for yourself may be just what you need to revive yourself and feel rejuvenated.

 

The most important step is to be aware of when you first start experiencing any of the symptoms listed, and not wait, as this will only lead to problems down the road. It is much easier to cope with them at the start, not waiting until they spiral out of control. Keep a journal or mood chart to capture these, including the time of day, what you were doing, etc. This will help you to be more aware and take control of your emotional health at all times.

 

 

 

If you, ore your team, wants to learn more about how to manage emotional wellness in the workplace, reach out for info on our programs and trainings. Awareness is key. We do work with individuals, both in-person and remote.

 

 

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