Blog ~ Page 29 of 38 ~ Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting

July 7, 2016

The New Trend Coming in the Job Market

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I read some startling statistics yesterday that by the year 2020, it is predicted that more than half of the U.S. workforce will be working in what is being called the “YouEconomy”(Zane Pilzer, 2016). This is the term for those who are taking ‘gig’s through freelancing sites, several part-time jobs, contracting and the like. For some, this type of work is a supplement to their current job (I am in this category), with 71% earning supplemental income.
The reason this is catching on? I see it for several reasons:

People are still having difficulty in the workplace so they see this as an option to make more money, as well as to test out ideas to start their own
People want more variety in their work and having several ‘gigs’ can provide that, as well as gaining new-found skills
People want more freedom and control over their career – some are no longer satisfied with the 8-5 grind, or taking directions from others
The criteria that some organizations and industries have for hiring workers is elusive to some, whether they are having to go back to get more education (but need experience) or they neither have the desire or the money to fund such education
Companies are predicted to move to short-term and contracted assignments

There can be more possible reasons but this trend is starting to take a hold; in fact, 33% of U.S. adults have earned income this way over the last twelve months (Success Magazine, 2016). Some ways people are finding work:

independent contracting
diversified work
moonlighting
temporary work
micro-entrepreneurs (virtual)

It is much easier than ever to find work, with sites such as: Upwork, freelance, guru, Fiverr where you can find work as well as post your services. Selling on ebay or Amazon, or others like etsy can trade your skills and wares for a fee. Another site is Flexjobs, where you can search for work-at-home and part-time opportunities. If you’ve ever had the notion, this would be the time to start researching your possibilities and jump on the bandwagon to get started. See you on the other side!

July 6, 2016

An Exercise for Self-Validation and Self-Worth

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I just finished an exercise, as homework in a coaching program I’m in, and I must say it was life-changing. I am not sure why this exercise at this particular time was so effective – as I’ve done them before- but it was. Right now as I’m writing this I feel freer, happier and more focused.

The simple exercise I was homework’d with is to write yourself a letter. Easy, yes? Not so fast. The purpose is to write this as if your ‘other self’ is speaking to you about your life: your past, your present and your future; your past mistakes and how you dealt or overcame them; significant events or people who made an impact on you; your struggles and challenges; your successes. Literally, you can write what and however you want. No one is judging this (although mine was viewed by others in the program – scary) so you can talk to yourself as you will. For example, I was encouraging while pulling no punches or letting issues slide.
This type of exercise is effective as it allows you to go deep into your buried thoughts to bring those out; those that are lurking near the surface can now make sense. Those past hurts can be forgiven and put into a place we can now live with, and we can create the future we want with some safety. Through writing, which engages both sides of the brain, bringing out highlights in our life affirms and validates those experiences, particularly the positive ones. Self-esteem goes up from reading of these accomplishments so that now we want to continue to take action and move forward on goals we want to achieve. We’re not afraid to think big or take big steps to make our life as we envisioned it on the paper.
If you want to self-validate and raise your self-esteem, then I encourage you to start writing that letter to yourself; you may want to mediate a bit before, or sit in silence, as it will give you calm and the words to fly through your fingers. This is where rubber meets the road. You will feel some emotions that will feel uncomfortable but you get to write the ending – isn’t that great?

July 5, 2016

Getting Out of the "I don't know" Rut

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Have you ever been asked a question by someone and found yourself answering “I don’t know”? I see this often, and have been guilty of it myself in the past. What I find is that in times of crisis – or when something feels that way – we may not really know an answer; it’s as if the brain freezes and we can’t find the words to express ourselves.
Another possibility is that we have the answer but we ‘really’ don’t want to say it, out of worry over the response from the person asking. It’s as if we already ‘know’ what they will say or how they will react – “I don’t want to hurt their feelings,’ or ‘They are going to be so mad at me.’ We are mind-reading at this point and predicting the result, both of which are defense mechanisms meant to protect us.
If we hurt another’s feelings, we then have to deal with the guilt or shame we may feel; if someone gets mad at our words or actions, we then have to atone or may hide from them if we avoid conflict. When we don’t like the negative feelings that may result in confronting a situation, we will do all we can to avoid it. There are some who fear the initial response from the other person that they either don’t think about or don’t care that the end-result can be worse if the person finds out. So, I don’t know becomes not telling you how much you slighted me, to now dealing with you’re not speaking to me.
The funny thing is, as well, that we do this with ourselves. We hide our own feelings when we don’t want to be disappointed, get angry, get hurt, etc. How many times do you say “I don’t know” when asked where you want to go eat or what you want for dinner? We do have the answers but are fearful of saying them, which is the task at hand:

go back and look at all the times when you said or thought, “I don’t know” – tally them up and you may be surprised at how often we say this phrase (i.e. ‘what do I want to eat”‘ ‘what time do I want to get up?’ etc.)
asses these times and who was involved; what were the underlying thoughts or fears that you are afraid to let out. These are the root-causes(s) and now can be dealt with
Now, take each of these situations and reframe them with saying what is really on your mind, not worrying about the response or the result. See how it ‘feels.’ Come up with assertive responses to resolve the issue

Those are some simple but effective steps to finally be able to say your thoughts/feelings and no worry about the reactions you gt. Being assertive means you can express yourself but you are not doing it at the expense of someone else. By using these steps, you can now feel free by releasing “I don’t know” from your vocabulary and feel freer to be you.

July 3, 2016

How do You React to Unplanned Change?

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I was in church this morning, which is merging with another church; today was the first day the two were brought together. I used to attend both at one time but this came as a surprise. However, what should have been a holy experience was interrupted by a woman who sat in front of me, who was obviously very displeased. She kept shaking her head and making some snide comments that were loud enough to be heard.
What should have been an uplifting service was now – not. It made me think of both the how and why one reacts to unplanned change; heck, change in general. If things don’t turn out the way we anticipated, we either accept or not. Both, however, can lead to some anxiety and resistance.
When we anticipate the future, this can lead to worry about what that might look like. The fear center in our brain – the amygdala – activates and releases certain chemicals into our system. How we have responded to scary situations sets how we react when those situations threaten us in some way. Usually, these situational outcomes are created in our mind, although our responses become more automatic, especially if we have the same responses over time. So, the worry can also come out as anger, like the woman in church.
I don’t know if she didn’t like the distance she now has to drive, if she was upset that new members were coming in, or the new practices they implemented; I do know, however, that she was not happy and did not either care or realize that she let it show. Getting in our ‘rightness’ leads to resisting change of any type: our thoughts, our way. The question to ask is: if you would rather be right in your way or to be happier? The thought here is that you win so I lose but, in the grand scheme of things, no one is winning.
You can either wait and see, or go along with, the change or you can resist. You never know if the change may actually be enjoyable but when you think negative, you get negative and are not open. As we can never know an outcome, stop trying to control it. Be open enough to ‘go with the flow’ and wait it out; this will allow you time to make an informed decision for how you want to proceed from then on. Going back to the woman I spoke of earlier, she can either go to another church or she can give it time to see how things go. I prayed that she opens her heart enough to find out.
We all have the ability to assess how we respond to adverse situations and unplanned change; we also have the ability to learn to control how we view those situations and our responses. Go back and think of a time when you had an unplanned event and how you looked at it and how your responded; rate the magnitude of the event (finances, job loss, divorce, etc. all have high magnitudes), and then begin developing solutions to fall back on. Challenge and reframe your thoughts so you feel more in control. I pray that you open your heart enough to find out.

July 3, 2016

Life Lessons from a Golf Pro

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I love reading inspirational stories of how people made it to their success. One of these is Gary Player, a professional golfer, who has shared his personal ‘commandments’ – the life lessons he has lived by and you can, too; hope you enjoy:

Change is the price of survival
Everything in business is negotiable, except quality
A promise made is a debt incurred
For all we take in life we must pay
Persistence and common sense are more important than intelligence
The fox fears not the man who boasts by night but the man who rises early in the morning
Accept the advice of the man who loves you, though you like it not apresent
Trust instinct to the end, though you cannot render any reason
The heights of great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but that while their companies slept were toiling in the night
There is no substitute for personal contact