Blog ~ Page 19 of 38 ~ Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting

April 9, 2018

Dealing with Change is Haarrdd!

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All of us have been through change at some point in our lives; some changes are of our own making, but can still be hard. Some changes are not in our control, which are more difficult. Of course, there are some changes that feel effortless in adapting to them.

Why is change so difficult to accept? A lot of it has to do with our genetic make-up. Our internal alert system (the amygdala) is always looking for threats to our safety; when something new comes along, it feels different so the alarm automatically goes off as a threat, leading to how you will deal with this new situation.

Depending on how you adapt, you will be in fight-flight-or freeze mode: fight is when you don’t know how to deal with a situation, or want to; fight is resistance; freeze is ‘this is too overwhelming for me to do anything about it.’ When we feel overwhelmed in our ability to deal, one of these will occur. Now, it is important to point out that there are individuals who adapt to new situations well, which is so interesting to study how they are able to be so receiving.

Rick Maurer, in his book Beyond the Wall of Resistance, says it comes down to two issues: 1) the goal or situation we are faced with is not clear to us, and 2) we don’t understand how that new change will benefit us. If one of these two are out of alignment, resistance will occur. Maurer also says that resistance occurs and results if we don’t like the idea or if we don’t really trust that the person leading the change will follow through on their words.

This happens frequently in the corporate world. Organizational change occurs frequently, of which many of the reasons are not known to employees and are not conveyed well, if at all. I never understand when an employer says they don’t want their workers to know of an upcoming change ahead of time so as not to upset them – don’t they realize the impact when it does occur, i.e. anger, disappointment, broken trust, etc.?

Change is harrdd. Plain and simple. But, there are ways to get through a change, if the emotional work is done which is really the root cause of resistance. Big changes, such as losing a job, going through a divorce, or a death, all can overtax the system with loss of which these will take time to get through.

But other changes, such as an organizational change, seem scary due to a fear of the unknown – will my job, pay, benefits, etc. stay the same? Will I have to learn new skills or will my hours continue? Whatever fear elicits will vary by individual but the fear is real. How you deal with it will determine how you get through and adapt to the new situations.

Recognize that change is hard but that you will get through whatever comes up: this seems simplistic but the natural response of the ego is ‘I can handle whatever comes up, it’s no big deal.’ Until it is. Being aware that you may not like the proposed change is the start of controlling any resistant thoughts that arise and help you recognize that you have been through many changes before and survived, which helps to give calm when you hear the news.
Take time to uncover the source(s) of any resistance felt: getting into deep-level awareness of why you don’t want the change will go a long way to overcoming these objections. You can now challenge any negative thoughts and begin to identify ways that will help you to cope better and accept new changes.
Identify your strengths in dealing with past challenges so you can take them in dealing with new ones. You are stronger than you believe and will make it through. However, how you deal will either determine your success or failure in your role. I once worked for a company that went through four mergers within a relatively short period of time; resistance was rampant at first, then turned into resignation. But I looked at each of these as a challenge, and an opportunity, to shine within the new realms that led to recognition and, eventually, promotional opportunities. You can do the same.

If you’re ready to take your career to the next level and how to get the most out of yourself, and your people, we’re here to serve. We have our Fableader program where we will:

Look at your goals, challenges you are facing, and opportunities you might be missing.
Uncover any hidden problems that may be sabotaging your desired results
Create an action plan and implement it together so that you finally get the results you have been looking for but were unable to find.
Address challenges that come up along the way, leaving you feeling renewed, re-energized, and inspired to take action and get faster results

If you’re ready to get started, contact us today to schedule your Fableader Breakthrough Strategy Session. barbara@cyscoaching.com Visit our website at https://cyscoaching.com

January 9, 2018

Co-Workers: Creating Fans NOT Adversaries

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The workplace can be a jungle at times. When you put a group of people together who have differing personalities, different values and beliefs, and different ways of working, it can be a recipe for disaster. This should not be a surprise, but many workers aren’t productive and not a team player.

There are workers who aren’t really sure of their role as they either weren’t given proper onboarding or were too afraid to ask for help; workers who don’t have the skills or knowledge of the job, as they may have fallen into the role or gave the ‘right’ answers in the interview; workers who resent others who have more recognition or (perceived) success than they do. The list can go on and on.

But fitting in and getting along with your coworkers is a critical component to job satisfaction. It also is a factor to performance and engagement. You can love the job you do but if the environment isn’t conductive, the opposite will occur – dissatisfaction, anxiety and disengagement. But hope is not lost as there are ways that you can create raving fans and not adversaries with coworkers.

Taking responsibility for your actions is the first step, meaning that you are self-aware of your actions and behaviors throughout your workday. It also is a check and balance of how you may be coming across to others, as we often wear a veil of denial about our own behaviors. What we think is not always how it is perceived by others.

Here are some success tips to being a good worker:

be a team player – recognize that your work influences every other coworker’s tasks and functions, so keep the big picture in mind. As the saying goes, ‘there’s no I in team” so start to think of how your actions and performance affects your coworkers and the organization itself; this will give you purpose for you work to motivate you to give more
be a resource – offer to help out coworkers, which can be done by giving an idea or different perspective, sharing some knowledge, or helping to get a task done. This leads back to being a team player; your coworkers will see you as one which creates harmonious relationships and a higher functioning group
build bonds – as relationships are everything, get to know your coworkers. People want to know they are cared about – their child making the football team, the recipe for cookies they brought in, their ideas/opinions/values, etc. This forges deeper bonds and people are more accepting of you, especially if a conflict arises
complement and recognize – don’t be stingy when it comes to recognizing the accomplishments of your peers, or to give them thanks or a complement. Do it for the little things, not just big ones, as this makes you more memorable to them, and builds trust and acceptance
communicate well – ensure that your messages are completely heard by thinking ahead of what, and how, you will convey your message and reflecting back on what you’ve heard. Tell people the benefit of what you are asking and then truly listen, without thinking of your response, to their idea/opinion, etc. Resolve any conflict in a mutually negotiating manner, forging any defensiveness that you may feel
whistle while you work – ensure you have a good attitude each day; stop the complaining – yours, theirs. People want to be around others who are positive and engaging so set your mind each morning that you will love your job – it will catch on and you can bring followers with you

Doing the following steps will lead to better relationships with your boss, your coworkers and customers, as well. You can survive the ‘jungle’ by standing out and being a positive force.

If you, or your organization, is struggling with workplace culture and engagement, we have a program that will work to turn this around. Let’s talk!

Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting focuses on workplace happiness and organizational success, using brain-based principles. If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! https://cyscoaching.com or barbara@cyscoaching.com. For more great tips, visit our other blog at https://allaboutcareersites.com

January 4, 2018January 4, 2018

What is a Mindset Coach Anyway?

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As a Mindset and Performance Coach, a lot of people don’t understand exactly what this means or the benefit one can provide. Hiring a coach, whether executive, business, wellness, etc. is an investment you make in improving some area of your life, or those of others.

While those are definitely needed, the fundamental reason for all behavior starts in the mind. A difficult employee, a business leader who is unproductive or scattered, or putting off exercising in an effort to lose weight all have their basis with what goes on in the mind. So, this is where a mindset coach is beneficial.

A mindset coach will set you on the right course; they will help you dig deeper into your thoughts and fears – yes, fears – that you’ve been struggling with, perhaps all your life as fears don’t just arise. They have deep-rooted places that started somewhere early on. Thoughts are embedded deep in the reptilian brain but can come out at any time. They lead to our beliefs which drive our actions, thus, the way you react to situations or that you keep eating that piece of cake, even though you know you shouldn’t.

A mindset coach uses principles of psychology and neuroscience to guide you in banishing mental blocks once and for all, helping you to understand that their are biological, physiological, and psychological processes going on, some of which you don’t have control of. This understanding is where self-awareness comes in which, then, is when change can occur.

If you have ever had an idea that you want to move forward on but didn’t, there is a reason for that. You’re fight or flight response went off releasing cortisol, which goes directly to your prefrontal cortex and shuts it down, leading to feeling foggy, disorganized, or freezing up; “I don’t know” becomes the common answer to why you did not move forward.

A mindset coach, who understands the brain, and its effects on the body and performance, is able to help you understand your reactions and then how to positively manage them. They help you to take control of them so you know can be more successful overall.

If you’re struggling in your business, a mindset coach can be the answer. You can have all the best systems and processes, funnels, and the like but, if you aren’t acting on them for whatever reason, it’s time to deal with your mindset. A coach can be your answer.

If you have been struggling, then it’s time to finally overcome. It’s time to soar to newer heights, to grow your business so it’s profitable and, ultimately, lead a happier and successful life.

Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting focuses on workplace happiness and organizational success using brain-based principles. If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! https://cyscoaching.com or barbara@cyscoaching.com. For more great tips, visit our other blog at https://allaboutcareersites.com

January 3, 2018

Steps to Take if You’re Put On a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP)

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So you messed up at work – came in late too many times, missed an important project deadline (and not just once), or your behavior has become a bit aggressive, i.e. angry outbursts that others have begun commenting on. Your company has now decided they have had enough and have put you on a performance improvement plan (PIP) which, essentially, is a write-up that includes specific actions you need to take to improve in the area identified.

Typically, this is a final warning to you – if you don’t make desired changes, then you will be walked out the door. This is their message to you: get in the game or get out. But is this really the end?

This will depend on the manager and the company. For some, this is just a ‘going through the motion’ to satisfy HR or employment laws; they really don’t think you’ll make any improvements to make their required changes which may not be clear. For others, they know you have good skills and have added value to the company so they are giving you a chance to return to the good worker you were.

However, these situations are not always handled properly – bad behaviors that have gone noticed but nothing done, sometimes for years. No verbals – well, perhaps a ‘talking to;’ nothing written up to document the behaviors and how they have been handled. So, suddenly, you are now presented with a PIP – surprise!

But, is it really a surprise? Most times, employees know their behaviors are not appropriate but, because there has been no real action taken, they blindly feel that things are going well but feel blind-sided when this type of action is taken. But, I would tell you to calm down as there are steps to take to correct your behavior and become a good employee. It will take action on your part, so here are steps to take:

Don’t be defensive or indignant – this seems to be a natural response for many when confronted about their behavior; we don’t like to disappoint or to be embarrassed so the ego fights back. This is the time to breathe and absorb what is being said and the changes you need to make that will put you back in the good graces of your boss. Defensiveness is fought with more defensiveness and, in situations like this, you will lose as they have the upper hand. When you don’t adversely react, this will soften their position
Get clarity on their actions – don’t be afraid to ask questions and get specifics as to the behaviors they’ve noticed, which should include details (dates, times, circumstances, etc). Get clear on the actionable steps that your boss is asking you to take and in what time-frame; in other words, what is it going to take before they aren’t watching you or will trust you again. Without this, you will flounder, going about your day thinking you are doing the work to only be told ‘not enough.’
Mea Culpa – apologize for your behavior or missteps that have lead to the company taking this type of action, whether you think you have done ‘that wrong’ or not. Apologies go a long way to showing someone that you acknowledge your part and want to improve; in work situations, this is what your company wants to see. You can explain circumstances that may have lead to your adverse behaviors, such as car problems, focusing on another part of your job and not one that your boss needed you to focus on, or that you were dealing with an ill family member. While excuses are just that, it could help your case in how they feel about you.
Assess, Assess, Assess – your behavior. This is the time to go back and review the situation(s) you have been presented with that have led to the write-up. And honestly, including your attitude (which plays a big part in this). When you were late – did you leave on time or think ‘ it’s only 5 minutes.’ When you missed deadlines, were you distracted by other things (including your personal life) or were frozen in fear that it wouldn’t be good enough or get rejected. When you demanded your way, made snide comments to someone, or even yelled, not acting like a true team player, is this how you act in other situations or was there something you were upset about but didn’t acknowledge at the time. You can’t make corrections if you don’t look at your own behaviors, perceptions and expectations, taking full responsibility for them. This is what sets you free and when your change will occur.
Determine how you will go about making the improvements you have been presented with – it’s best to write what steps you have to take, in detail, and along with a timeline for each of them. Managing your time, being more present, and having a good attitude are concepts that are perceptual in nature but giving them concrete steps works towards better behavior: actions you will take first thing (‘eat the frog’); dates and times for deliverables; setting a time for leaving the house earlier; more networking with team members; regular check-ins for feedback with your boss; participating more in meetings and sharing of ideas -these are all considerations to include in your plan
Take action – TODAY! Sure, you will need to lick your wounds, but this is not the time to stay in ‘victim mode’ and wallow in your misfortune. A PIP is a big warning call – possibly the final one you will receive. So getting to work on making any improvements you are tasked with will lead to leaving this behind. It may be the wake-up call you need to determine if you have lost interest in your job, are not challenged enough, or need to work on your personal development to create new, positive behaviors and mindset. It could also show that it might be time to leave the organization behind.

Getting a performance improvement plan is not the end of you career. You have been given a second chance to be the great employee they hired and make a difference for your organization. The choice is yours to make so choose wisely.

Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting focuses on workplace happiness and organizational success. If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! https://cyscoaching.com or barbara@cyscoaching.com. For more great tips, visit our other blog at https://allaboutcareersites.com

December 28, 2017

Choosing a Word or Theme for Your New Year

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Choosing a word or theme for your new year is a great way to keep focus on how you want the year to play out. Words are very powerful, as they can elicit emotions that feed drive and motivation. The more compelling the words are to you, the more connection you will feel.

The power of words are nothing new, as you can look at songs, poems. ad motivational quotes, which are all ways we feel an emotion which then creates an attachment to something o someone. The resulting emotions then lead to a behavior and taking action of some kind.

You can choose a word, phrase or a particular theme for areas of your life, such as:

for your home: purge, simplify, cleanse
for your relationships: love, honor, closeness, respect, boundaries
for your mental clarity: great ideas, peace, gratitude, confidence, honor myself, carpe diem (seize the day)
for your career/business: focus, money come easily to me, connections, workplace happiness
for your relationship with money: abundance, savings, no more debt, freedom
for your health: eat clean, no excuses, or you can borrow from Nike – just do it

I think you get the idea; see what you can expand on in these areas, which you may have more than I’ve listed. The point is, we need to find ways to keep motivated on the goals and outcomes we’ve set – choosing a word or theme is a great way to keep motivated and in achievement mode. As an add-on, make a picture or visual representation of what you came up with.

Keep your word or phrase in places where you will see it: as a screen saver on your fridge or bathroom mirror, or on a sticky note you keep by your computer screen. The more you see them, the more focus and motivation you will have to keep working towards your new-set goals and finish the year out strong.

If you feel stuck on finding your theme, or setting goals for more achievement in the new year, let’s talk!